Can't suppress my thoughts willingly, I've tried, best I can do is try to distract myself when I get uncomfortable thoughts until they go away.
Rather what I do is not only realize, but truly believe that none of it matters anyway. To do this I've intentionally made my dissociative issues far more severe through tulpamaxxing and deliberately altering small details of my memory, and now I usually feel completely divorced from my own emotions and even my own life. That's the reason why I make so many threads of that nature, I feel like this everyday, or rather my own efforts have made me realize the truth of this feeling. It's that I don't think like my life is actually mine, I feel that I shouldn't be in this body, and that I feel far less attached to anything or anyone in the physical world. Basically I feel more at home in the world I created for myself as oppressed to this one.
So I don't care about the negative thoughts in the first place, and I'm less likely to even have them. Of course one downside to this is when I actually can feel the full extent of my emotions, they feel far worse because I've grown accustomed to being so detached.
Bruh, that was insane read . You're jokermaxxing for real
"MEMORY'S SO TREACHEROUS . ONE MOMENT YOU'RE LOST IN ACARNIVAL OF DELIGHTS,WITH POIGNANT CHILDHOOD AROMAS , THE FLASHING NEON OF PUBERTY , ALL THAT SENTIMENTAL CANDY-FLOSS ...
THE NEXT , IT LEADS YOU SOMEWHERE YOU DON'T WANT TO GO...
...SOMEWHERE DARK AND COLD , FILLED WITH THE DAMP, AMBIGUOUS SHAPES OF THINKS YOU'D RATHER FORGET .
MEMORIES CAN BE VILE, REPULSIVE LITTLE EBRUTES. LIKE CHILDREN, I SUPPOSE. HAHA.
BUT CAN WE LIVE WITHOUT THEM?MEMORIES ARE WHAT OUR REASON IS BASED UPON. IF WE CAN'T FACE THEM, WE DENY REASON ITSELF!
ALGHOUGH, WHY NOT? WE AREN'T CONTRACTUALLY TIED DOWN TO RATIONALITY!
THERE IS NO SANITY CLAUSE!
SO WHEN YOU FIND YOURSELF LOCKED ONTO AN UNPLEASANT TRAIN OF THOUGHT, HEADING FOR THE PLACES IN YOUR PAST WHERE THE SCREAMING IS UNBEARABLE , REMEMBER THERE'S ALWAYSMADNESS.
MADNESS IS THEEMERGENCY EXIT...
YOU CAN JUST STEP OUTSIDE , AND CLOSE THE DOOR ON ALL THOSE DREADFUL THINGS THAT HAPPENED. YOU CAN LOCK THEM AWAY...
FOREVER." - killing joke
