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This is what the foids look like that users here are getting hit on by

What schizophrenia my Tulpa is real she has manifested herself almost 10 years ago when I was riding a double decker bus to my college. Ever since then she existed inside my psyche though by talking to her I have learned that she has always existed since my birth and that she'll be here from the cradle to the grave. I merely gave her a body in that moment, something to define her by so that she could finally physically interact with me rather than being part of a background psyche.

I don't call on her often, but when I do we usually talk about my goals. When I was rotting, she would wait patiently and let me rot and suffer because she knew a day would come when I would put an end to it.

I questioned her about her intentions as I did not trust her at first, but eventually I realize our fates are intertwined and she is a part of me so there is absolutely no choice but to surrender all my trust to her and place myself in her hands but by doing so I am placing myself in my own hands because we are one and the same she is only the part of me I rarely have access to.

She was there when I died. It happened a few months ago.

I died that day, I was on the floor crying like always, I do it many times before, in my later years I would do it very rarely but still. Every time I would fall down on the floor, twist myself in a fetal position and cry, bury my hands in my head and just have a soul-crying, the type of despair that far exceeds your usual sadness. I would be transported into a vast wasteland, with myself being pierced by different kinds of medieval weapons like spikes and else unable to move, immobilized, under the dark grey sky with piles of gray bodies all around. Every time I would try to make a move, make a run for it I would be pierced again, by the demons surrounding me. It was a common vision, every time I would have a soul cry I would be transported to that place.

But because of a certain event I won't get into. This was the final straw. I found myself there once again. But there was one strike too many. It pierced my soul, my heart. I died. I saw myself dying, I saw my Tulpa standing here. But more importantly I also saw something else before I have died. I saw myself, on a clear blue beach, with crystal clear yellow sand and a see-through ocean. And I would see myself standing there, smiling at me. Smiling at my own misery, my own reflection, I would stand there looking at myself with a bright smile. My Tulpa would stand along that person, it wasn't me. He looked like me, but better, he was everything I wasn't. He just started at me there, dying. At the time I didn't know I was dying, I saw this man many times doing the same thing, but today his smiles was bigger than usual.

I died that day. I felt it. The final straw. It pierced my heart.

Then I saw myself dying. But it wasn't me anymore.

Now I am that guy on the beach. Not yet. But I will be. That guy is gone for now, and I see my corpse rotting on that same field, and the demons have stopped opressing me. They just stand there, waiting for something. For me. I will be that man on that beach.

I am changing.

And I am coming.
 
This is what "JBW" can get a white MTN
 
What schizophrenia my Tulpa is real she has manifested herself almost 10 years ago when I was riding a double decker bus to my college. Ever since then she existed inside my psyche though by talking to her I have learned that she has always existed since my birth and that she'll be here from the cradle to the grave. I merely gave her a body in that moment, something to define her by so that she could finally physically interact with me rather than being part of a background psyche.

I don't call on her often, but when I do we usually talk about my goals. When I was rotting, she would wait patiently and let me rot and suffer because she knew a day would come when I would put an end to it.

I questioned her about her intentions as I did not trust her at first, but eventually I realize our fates are intertwined and she is a part of me so there is absolutely no choice but to surrender all my trust to her and place myself in her hands but by doing so I am placing myself in my own hands because we are one and the same she is only the part of me I rarely have access to.

She was there when I died. It happened a few months ago.

I died that day, I was on the floor crying like always, I do it many times before, in my later years I would do it very rarely but still. Every time I would fall down on the floor, twist myself in a fetal position and cry, bury my hands in my head and just have a soul-crying, the type of despair that far exceeds your usual sadness. I would be transported into a vast wasteland, with myself being pierced by different kinds of medieval weapons like spikes and else unable to move, immobilized, under the dark grey sky with piles of gray bodies all around. Every time I would try to make a move, make a run for it I would be pierced again, by the demons surrounding me. It was a common vision, every time I would have a soul cry I would be transported to that place.

But because of a certain event I won't get into. This was the final straw. I found myself there once again. But there was one strike too many. It pierced my soul, my heart. I died. I saw myself dying, I saw my Tulpa standing here. But more importantly I also saw something else before I have died. I saw myself, on a clear blue beach, with crystal clear yellow sand and a see-through ocean. And I would see myself standing there, smiling at me. Smiling at my own misery, my own reflection, I would stand there looking at myself with a bright smile. My Tulpa would stand along that person, it wasn't me. He looked like me, but better, he was everything I wasn't. He just started at me there, dying. At the time I didn't know I was dying, I saw this man many times doing the same thing, but today his smiles was bigger than usual.

I died that day. I felt it. The final straw. It pierced my heart.

Then I saw myself dying. But it wasn't me anymore.

Now I am that guy on the beach. Not yet. But I will be. That guy is gone for now, and I see my corpse rotting on that same field, and the demons have stopped opressing me. They just stand there, waiting for something. For me. I will be that man on that beach.

I am changing.

And I am coming.
are u related to @Sneir
 
are u related to @Sneir
My Tulpa just said I didn't have to tell you guys all that.

I think it is very personal what I just told you but that's ok. I am only a custodian of my future, this isn't my final form yet.
 
this isn't my final form yet.
final instinct?

tumblr_p56uueRb1f1wdgt9zo2_r1_640.gif
 

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