Venting This is hell

[PHp]

This forum, gaming, smoking, anime... None of these copes really help anymore, when I have to go do anything else the pain just hits me like a truck. I unironically think I won't be able to take this shit until I'm like 30, every day it gets worse.

I was very lonely during my whole life, not family wise but never had much close relationships with people my age, so I get really attached with any kind of attention people give me, used to easily get oneitis and stuff (pathetic I know) . I delude myself trying to avoid women, accept my situation and focus in building a career, but I just can't. Whenever I try talking to some folk at my uni it becomes clear there is something different with me, both physically and mentally... I cannot escape this loneliness, it hurts so much. These feelings are in my head all the time and I can't properly focus on anything else (so much for trying to become a medicalcel I guess). It is only expected, after all my body is programmed to seek only these: survival and reprodution, and all of you probably know how the last one is coming around.

I'm currently at a small farm where my grandmother lives, I'm going home today after being here for about a month. Well, the guy that works here has a girl who used to play with me when we were kids. I've been trying to be more outgoing and so I tried talking to her, I thought maybe I could "ascend" in this situation: isolated for a long time here, only the two of us with our age (no competition), her not having access to internet (only we do, they don't pay for it, so we don't give them the password) or cell phone signal easily.

But I didn't ascend, we talked but we can barely be considered even friends anymore. Like I said above I'm going home later today and I'm not gonna lie, not making it with such a chance destroyed my mind, I haven't even felt hunger and eaten since yesterday, just a weird sensation of suffocation around my chest and stomach. It is not about this specific girl, it is just that if I couldn't make it with these amazing conditions, how the hell will I ever do it? Such a scenario will never get even closer of repeating itself.

I guess deep down I still had some hope, maybe I still thought that gymcelling with my height would be enough, maybe I was still a little redpilled or even bluepilled deep down. But now the only thing I feel is pain, I've never felt this in my life, so hopeless and sad. I truly think this experience changed me.

I wish I had had more luck, no need to be Chad just normal looking and neurotypical would be enough. But that's not what happened, this is hell and it only gets worse every day.

 

[Deleted member 19236]

But now the only thing I feel is pain, I've never felt this in my life, so hopeless and sad. I truly think this experience changed me.

I know this feel, it happened to me 1 year before finding the blackpill when I was at prep school and lived in utter loneliness.

you feel like this because one of your basic needs are being neglected

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a pyramid of the needs that motivate people. Individuals most basic needs, at the base of the pyramid, are physiological. Once they have fulfilled these needs, people move on to their safety needs, social well-being, self-esteem then ultimately their need for...

www.simplypsychology.org

 

[mhhcookies]

this is hell and it only gets worse every day.

That hit hard.

 

[PHp]

you feel like this because one of your basic needs are being neglected

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a pyramid of the needs that motivate people. Individuals most basic needs, at the base of the pyramid, are physiological. Once they have fulfilled these needs, people move on to their safety needs, social well-being, self-esteem then ultimately their need for...

www.simplypsychology.org

I guess this is why our situation is so brutal, love and female contact are supposed to be very basic things for us as male animals

 

[kikecel]

you have reached terminal velocity on the road to insanity
good luck man

 

[PHp]

you have reached terminal velocity on the road to insanity
good luck man

Good luck to us all

 

[joe_incel123]

This forum, gaming, smoking, anime... None of these copes really help anymore, when I have to go do anything else the pain just hits me like a truck. I unironically think I won't be able to take this shit until I'm like 30, every day it gets worse.

I was very lonely during my whole life, not family wise but never had much close relationships with people my age, so I get really attached with any kind of attention people give me, used to easily get oneitis and stuff (pathetic I know) . I delude myself trying to avoid women, accept my situation and focus in building a career, but I just can't. Whenever I try talking to some folk at my uni it becomes clear there is something different with me, both physically and mentally... I cannot escape this loneliness, it hurts so much. These feelings are in my head all the time and I can't properly focus on anything else (so much for trying to become a medicalcel I guess). It is only expected, after all my body is programmed to seek only these: survival and reprodution, and all of you probably know how the last one is coming around.

I'm currently at a small farm where my grandmother lives, I'm going home today after being here for about a month. Well, the guy that works here has a girl who used to play with me when we were kids. I've been trying to be more outgoing and so I tried talking to her, I thought maybe I could "ascend" in this situation: isolated for a long time here, only the two of us with our age (no competition), her not having access to internet (only we do, they don't pay for it, so we don't give them the password) or cell phone signal easily.

But I didn't ascend, we talked but we can barely be considered even friends anymore. Like I said above I'm going home later today and I'm not gonna lie, not making it with such a chance destroyed my mind, I haven't even felt hunger and eaten since yesterday, just a weird sensation of suffocation around my chest and stomach. It is not about this specific girl, it is just that if I couldn't make it with these amazing conditions, how the hell will I ever do it? Such a scenario will never get even closer of repeating itself.

I guess deep down I still had some hope, maybe I still thought that gymcelling with my height would be enough, maybe I was still a little redpilled or even bluepilled deep down. But now the only thing I feel is pain, I've never felt this in my life, so hopeless and sad. I truly think this experience changed me.

I wish I had had more luck, no need to be Chad just normal looking and neurotypical would be enough. But that's not what happened, this is hell and it only gets worse every day.

I can feel you bro. Same for me.

But how does the whore not have access to the internet? What shithole do you live in?

 

[RREEEEEEEEE]

At least you're not a curry.

 

[FAloner]

Inceldom is the highest form of torture a human can go through.

 

[PHp]

I can feel you bro. Same for me.

But how does the whore not have access to the internet? What shithole do you live in?

Brazil, and even for us it was during this period I stayed here that we installed it. The farm is kind of isolated and cellphones don't get signal nor internet from here

At least you're not a curry.

That is true, curries live a special kind of nightmare

 

[RREEEEEEEEE]

Brazil, and even for us it was during this period I stayed here that we installed it. The farm is kind of isolated and cellphones don't get signal nor internet from here


That is true, curries live a special kind of nightmare

Yep. Now imagine how horrible being a Jew-nosed curry must be. That's me.

 

[npcel]

I feel you even though i managed to get over 30 to start to feel like this..

 

[joe_incel123]

Brazil, and even for us it was during this period I stayed here that we installed it. The farm is kind of isolated and cellphones don't get signal nor internet from here


That is true, curries live a special kind of nightmare

So you were the only guy in her age she knows, she has no access to the internet and she still rejected you?

It's over bro

Yep. Now imagine how horrible being a Jew-nosed curry must be. That's me.

Wow that's bad. Jew nose + muslimcel + subhuman ugly.

How can you guys still believe in god? Like fuck, what kind of a cruel god would let it happen that guys like as actually get born?

 

[Cowcel]

Copes don't help our situation they just make us forget about our pathetic lives

But now the only thing I feel is pain

I don't feel pain, more like emptiness,void.

this is hell and it only gets worse every day.

 

[Uglymuggly]

That hit hard.

Tbh

 

[cutthroat]

Yep. Now imagine how horrible being a Jew-nosed curry must be. That's me.

you just described me as well

 

[RREEEEEEEEE]

you just described me as well

That's brutal. What kind of curry are you?

 

[cutthroat]

That's brutal. What kind of curry are you?

your countryman bhai

 

[RREEEEEEEEE]

your countryman bhai

Are you also Punjabi, bhai?

 

[cutthroat]

Are you also Punjabi, bhai?

half punjabi half sinhdhi broski

 

[RREEEEEEEEE]

half punjabi half sinhdhi broski

Really, bro? Interesting mix. I have some relatives living in Karachi. On whose side are you Punjabi and Sindhi? And I can safely say that you live in the west. But where?

 

[cutthroat]

Really, bro? Interesting mix. I have some relatives living in Karachi. On whose side are you Punjabi and Sindhi? And I can safely say that you live in the west. But where?

My dad's side is punjabi and my mum's is Sindhi. I was born in Hyderabad, a city just north of Karachi if you haven't heard of it. And yes, I moved to the UK when I was a few months old.

 

[RREEEEEEEEE]

My dad's side is punjabi and my mum's is Sindhi. I was born in Hyderabad, a city just north of Karachi if you haven't heard of it. And yes, I moved to the UK when I was a few months old.

I have heard of Hyderabad, my friend's sister's army husband was stationed there for some time. Or they're still there. They were in Abottabad before. Do you speak Punjabi or Sindhi? By the way, in Pakistani circles you would be considered a Punjabi since they think your father is the one who determines what you are.

 

[cutthroat]

I have heard of Hyderabad, my friend's sister's army husband was stationed there for some time. Or they're still there. They were in Abottabad before. Do you speak Punjabi or Sindhi? By the way, in Pakistani circles you would be considered a Punjabi since they think your father is the one who determines what you are.

I speak both Urdu and Punjabi, but my Punjabi is shit tier and I know only a handful of words to be able to make up some sentences in Punjabi. In Pakistan, I would be considered borderline Muhajir since my father's family migrated from Indian Punjab to Pakistani Punjab back in 1947. I guess your family is native to Pakistan's Punjab.

 

[RREEEEEEEEE]

I speak both Urdu and Punjabi, but my Punjabi is shit tier and I know only a handful of words to be able to make up some sentences in Punjabi. In Pakistan, I would be considered borderline Muhajir since my father's family migrated from Indian Punjab to Pakistani Punjab back in 1947. I guess your family is native to Pakistan's Punjab.

I cannot speak Punjabi at all but I can understand it somewhat, and my Urdu is just okay. That's true, you'd be considered a Muhajir in Pakistan. Your family members are probably MQM supporters. And that's true, my family is native to Pakistan's Punjab. We have been living there for centuries, so there's no history of migration. Even though being Punjabi is not hereditary, it's simply geographical. So even if you come to live in Punjab as a Muhajir, if you assimilate yourself, you'd be considered Punjabi. Even if you were fully Sindhi, or a Baloch or a Pashtun. It's interesting, but it does leave me to wonder what my DNA is like, we are probably the closest thing to "ethnic Punjabis."

 

[cutthroat]

I cannot speak Punjabi at all but I can understand it somewhat, and my Urdu is just okay. That's true, you'd be considered a Muhajir in Pakistan. Your family members are probably MQM supporters. And that's true, my family is native to Pakistan's Punjab. We have been living there for centuries, so there's no history of migration. Even though being Punjabi is not hereditary, it's simply geographical. So even if you come to live in Punjab as a Muhajir, if you assimilate yourself, you'd be considered Punjabi. Even if you were fully Sindhi, or a Baloch or a Pashtun. It's interesting, but it does leave me to wonder what my DNA is like, we are probably the closest thing to "ethnic Punjabis."

I'd suppose you're more lightskinned than me because you have more European DNA than me.

MQM is fucked now because of Altaf Hussain. My parents don't condone MQM because of that reason, so they'd go with the Niazi Imran Khan's party. I don't support IK because imo he's too pacifist on his policies and normally wants peace with India. Even I could do a better job of dealing with the pajeets than him.

Also how fucked up is your nose? Were you born with it?

 

[PHp]

So you were the only guy in her age she knows, she has no access to the internet and she still rejected you?

It's over bro

No, normally she visits her sister and friends in the 2 small cities (for any Brazilcels, são duas currutelas), around 50km and 30 km from here from time to time, she doesn't help her parents with work and is now a NEET but she used to study (like up until 3 years ago) in one of those cities, so she has contact with other guys occasionally.