Venting thinking about my future and my past

[svgmn1]

After all what I went through, getting hard rejections is still one of the things that haunt me the most, along with getting bullied. I acknowledge that the damage these two left is something that cannot be fixed.

I try portraying what I'm going through, it's almost as if it's a theatrical play, I'm chained in a cycle, a cycle of being excluded and picked on, and the damage that was done is holding me to that "role" in this theater, I can't change the role that was chosen for me.

I took some moments from time to time, to see where I am in life and where I'm heading to be, there is no hope for the broken.

I only see dead ends, I see failure in the future and I see a deadman when I look to the mirror. I am scared. I really don't want to reach that future. I want to live.

I saw baraka clips yesterday at night and he said something I do say lately. why god gave me autism and why god made me the way I am. I just hope there is a good place for me after we die, not hell or just nothingness.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

View: https://vocaroo.com/1cG6rvo26ayI

 

[I.N.C.E.L.S. Boss]

I found my salvation in Islam.
At the end, death is the great equalizer and we will all be judged according to our deeds and not our genes.
You may envy the sexhavers, the beauty they were granted. But know that this is their test, will they use the beauty they were given in the way of God ? or will their passing beauty deceive them and drown them in sins ?

The fornicators are forsaken by God, that's why they are left to rot in their degeneracy until the day of Judgement begins.

Don't create unnecessary stress for yourself. Some days are good, some are no fun, such is life.

 

[svgmn1]

beauty

with honesty I can't relate to the point you were trying to make. but this word caught my interest, I found out that I missed it out these on my post.

I see and hear about beauty, but to me, beauty in this life became unenjoyable and useless almost like a form of consumed entertainment. I see landscapes, trees and flowers differently to what I used to before I grew up. I wonder how this "beauty" is benefiting me or enjoyable to me anymore.

"the most beautiful places feel like hell when you experience it alone" and while I don't relate to ER saying that since I don't blindly hate beauty (although I do have grudge on good looking humans), I just don't find it captivating me like it used to do anymore, so I find out opinions crossed.

 

[svgmn1]

View: https://vocaroo.com/1cG6rvo26ayI

that is almost worse than my voice. I can already imagine his life from his voice alone.

 

[Asgard]

My past: sucks.
My future: sucks.

 

[Asgard]

I found my salvation in Islam.
At the end, death is the great equalizer and we will all be judged according to our deeds and not our genes.
You may envy the sexhavers, the beauty they were granted. But know that this is their test, will they use the beauty they were given in the way of God ? or will their passing beauty deceive them and drown them in sins ?

The fornicators are forsaken by God, that's why they are left to rot in their degeneracy until the day of Judgement begins.

Don't create unnecessary stress for yourself. Some days are good, some are no fun, such is life.

This is a must read. High IQ.

 

[I.N.C.E.L.S. Boss]

with honesty I can't relate to the point you were trying to make. but this word caught my interest, I found out that I missed it out these on my post.

I see and hear about beauty, but to me, beauty in this life became unenjoyable and useless almost like a form of consumed entertainment. I see landscapes, trees and flowers differently to what I used to before I grew up. I wonder how this "beauty" is benefiting me or enjoyable to me anymore.

"the most beautiful places feel like hell when you experience it alone" and while I don't relate to ER saying that since I don't blindly hate beauty (although I do have grudge on good looking humans), I just don't find it captivating me like it used to do anymore, so I find out opinions crossed.

I can relate, past a certain age it seems that company is needed to experience beauty again.
I remember when I was a kid, I would play alone at the beach and contemplate the vastness of the sea. Now, I spend the majority of my time alone in my room.

I think i may be able to be amazed by beauty again but for that to happens, I need a remote place with no humans in sight to ruin the scenary.

 

[svgmn1]

I can relate, past a certain age it seems that company is needed to experience beauty again.
I remember when I was a kid, I would play alone at the beach and contemplate the vastness of the sea. Now, I spend the majority of my time alone in my room.

I think i may be able to be amazed by beauty again but for that to happens, I need a remote place with no humans in sight to ruin the scenary.

yes. I hardly agree on this. you can't be a "bloomer" who enjoys beauty without company like everyone else, or enjoy it alone without acquiring satisfaction, happiness and peace first. the bloomer cope is useless and doesn't have any effect on incels misery.

 

[manletogre]

Over4u

 

[avoidthefoid]

After all what I went through, getting hard rejections is still one of the things that haunt me the most, along with getting bullied. I acknowledge that the damage these two left is something that cannot be fixed.

I try portraying what I'm going through, it's almost as if it's a theatrical play, I'm chained in a cycle, a cycle of being excluded and picked on, and the damage that was done is holding me to that "role" in this theater, I can't change the role that was chosen for me.

I took some moments from time to time, to see where I am in life and where I'm heading to be, there is no hope for the broken.

I only see dead ends, I see failure in the future and I see a deadman when I look to the mirror. I am scared. I really don't want to reach that future. I want to live.

I saw baraka clips yesterday at night and he said something I do say lately. why god gave me autism and why god made me the way I am. I just hope there is a good place for me after we die, not hell or just nothingness.

it's over!!!! OVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

it's over!!!! OVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR

Yes. Solo mode is now over.

 

[avoidthefoid]

Yes. Solo mode is now over.

wish I was a kid again