In real life I always wear a mask which is far from my true self. I do lose focus and sometimes let the mask drop, but I never truly expose myself, what I've been through and what I think.
I don't like interacting people and having friends, which is why I never did. But the point I'm trying to make is that I would never be able to make friends now. Friends would imply some sort of letting your guard down, exposing who you are, what you've experienced. There's no way I could do that now, my life is too much of a shit pile, there's too many odd things, too weird and unusual. I mean, imagine telling people that on the days you don't work you've spent 16 hours a day on your PC and the rest sleeping, ever since you were a child. And that I haven't really done much else with my life... except other odd things that I'd rather not talk about.
I don't like interacting people and having friends, which is why I never did. But the point I'm trying to make is that I would never be able to make friends now. Friends would imply some sort of letting your guard down, exposing who you are, what you've experienced. There's no way I could do that now, my life is too much of a shit pile, there's too many odd things, too weird and unusual. I mean, imagine telling people that on the days you don't work you've spent 16 hours a day on your PC and the rest sleeping, ever since you were a child. And that I haven't really done much else with my life... except other odd things that I'd rather not talk about.
