There’s no such thing as an obedient son who ends up well adjusted

[Pikacel]

Either his parents are lenient af, he just hides everything from them or he forcibly gets his way

Otherwise you’ll end up non NT and socially stunted. Parents tend to care about exerting force and winning rather than raising a functional child especially with sons. Hence they try to crush his spirit

 

[VanGobbel]

Thats reaching

 

[Pikacel]

Thats reaching

How come

 

[Giracel]

First thing from this account I 100% agree with This is exactly the way things went with me.

 

[VanGobbel]

How come

You're assuming there is no middleground possible. The world isnt all extremes.

 

[Pikacel]

You're assuming there is no middleground possible. The world isnt all extremes.

It could be a mix of all 3

Moderate parents, healthy privacy, stand your ground

Or just latter 2

 

[Giracel]

You're assuming there is no middleground possible. The world isnt all extremes.

Extremes are what makes the differences in the world. Maybe there were thousands of functional hapa sons, but we only hear about the ERs.

 

[Giracel]

end up non NT and socially stunted

exerting force and winning

My parents mantra was: #1 lesson you learn here is obedience

 

[Giracel]

And I guess they won because I was too broken and lazy/complacent to forge a new way of life in college and am moving back in with them soon

 

[Pikacel]

And I guess they won because I was too broken and lazy/complacent to forge a new way of life in college and am moving back in with them soon

How can you confidently make decisions for yourself if you’re raised to doubt every decision you make

 

[Giracel]

How can you confidently make decisions for yourself if you’re raised to doubt every decision you make

Another trvth nvke. I was indeed raised to doubt everything because what if my ideas didn't align with "god's will"?

And I was further told that "god gave us free will for a reason" — and WHAT IS that reason if we are meant to align it with his in every case?? Just a glimpse into the maddening circular logic that destroyed any chance I had at functional decision-making.

 

[Pikacel]

Another trvth nvke. I was indeed raised to doubt everything because what if my ideas didn't align with "god's will"?

And I was further told that "god gave us free will for a reason" — and WHAT IS that reason if we are meant to align it with his in every case?? Just a glimpse into the maddening circular logic that destroyed any chance I had at functional decision-making.

They just use religion to control you

Religion is supposed to come from within

 

[Giracel]

They just use religion to control you

Religion is supposed to come from within

I actually blame them far less than I do other people who influenced them. Neither of them was raised in the systems of ideas they currently hold.

The assassination of Shinzo Abe informed me about the shūkyō nisei concept, and I realized I fit well into it. Japanese is so versatile with its terms for abstract concepts like this.