Indari
ovencel
★★★★★
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2017
- Posts
- 38,807
my entire life has been miserable. I remember wishing I didn't exist early as elementary school when i would get hit by my parents. I remember retching uncontrollably in the school bathroom in 8th grade because of the weird psychological condition I am afflicted with, and thinking id rather be dead than have to live with it. I recall the painful social isolation I started noticing around 5th grade but really hit in middle school, and the feelings of inadequacy upon realizing how underdeveloped of a person I am in late midde school and high school. Now it is the weight of adjusting to what will be the rest of my life, and learning how much it fucking sucks. I am living a small fraction of a real life. Continuing to live at this point is like continuing to run a never ending marathon. If you have ever ran long distance, it's like that feeling where you keep on moving your legs on sheer willpower. Every moment I feel the urge to just give up.