universallyabhorred
Banned
-
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2017
- Posts
- 8,391
It was the summer of 2013 and I was 16. Before this a number of girls had called me cute, shown interest in me and my interactions with girls were generally better than boys though I never had female friends or hung out with them. I got a lot of IOIs from girls I never even knew despite the fact I was extremely unpopular in middle school due to my autism. The IOIs reduced in high school but there seemed to be a few girls who still seemed interested, and they never looked at me with disgust or treated me poorly . I looked feminine and prettyboyish, in some pictures you might even confuse me for a girl, I enjoyed the attention but because of my parents forbidding me from dating, I never pursued a single girl.
There was one girl who I was interested in, she was punjabi and cute, at one point she asked me if I liked her and I said no, and she rejected me with some bs reason, however she would always talk to me, here and there like greeting me and we'd talk in class. At first I assumed she was just using me as an emotional tampon because she was weird and had social issues. However, there were times when she was staring at me a lot.
One time we had a end of the year middle school party and I dressed up for it and groomed my hair well. I got a lot of IOIs from girls that night, even girls who were previously hostile towards me or disliked me were checking me out, but I never pursued a single one. There was a dance held at the gym, I walked in and I saw her just standing around the side-lines, I had danced with her previously in gym class, because we were all paired up for an assignment and I was bad at it. She kept staring at me, I felt an urge to approach but resisted it and walked out. I went to the gym multiple times that night and she made deep eye-contact with me every-time, yet I couldn't gather the nerve to do it and left.
I noticed her in summer school which was an advanced math class my parents forced me to take. There were times she would look at me and talk about me from a distance with a female group and giggle. Another large group of females looked at me, giggled and talked about me, they asked me to come over, but I avoided them. Once, I was walking near class during lunch time and she went up to me and said hi, she looked so beautiful, I felt like the breath was knocked out of me and I didn't respond and walked away. Anyway I had a few instances like this with girls, but somehow always avoided doing anything with them. When I want to public places, I noticed IOIs from girls who were probably around my age. It was actually fun going outside back then and looking at girls, but I didn't often do it.
However, this all changed after my parents and I went on a trip to India that summer. The whole experience was awful, it was a religious pilgrimage that was annoying and frustrating. By the time I came back, I started receiving colder looks and treatment from strangers. Women started avoiding me and even other guys seemed less interested in interacting with me after meeting me. Welcome to the ugly life.
Since that summer puberty deformed my face, I have never once been genuinely attractive to any female. I always assumed I would be a success in life and my looks would help me out, but that summer destroyed my dreams and my life.
@TheGrayWolf @PLA1092 thoughts?
There was one girl who I was interested in, she was punjabi and cute, at one point she asked me if I liked her and I said no, and she rejected me with some bs reason, however she would always talk to me, here and there like greeting me and we'd talk in class. At first I assumed she was just using me as an emotional tampon because she was weird and had social issues. However, there were times when she was staring at me a lot.
One time we had a end of the year middle school party and I dressed up for it and groomed my hair well. I got a lot of IOIs from girls that night, even girls who were previously hostile towards me or disliked me were checking me out, but I never pursued a single one. There was a dance held at the gym, I walked in and I saw her just standing around the side-lines, I had danced with her previously in gym class, because we were all paired up for an assignment and I was bad at it. She kept staring at me, I felt an urge to approach but resisted it and walked out. I went to the gym multiple times that night and she made deep eye-contact with me every-time, yet I couldn't gather the nerve to do it and left.
I noticed her in summer school which was an advanced math class my parents forced me to take. There were times she would look at me and talk about me from a distance with a female group and giggle. Another large group of females looked at me, giggled and talked about me, they asked me to come over, but I avoided them. Once, I was walking near class during lunch time and she went up to me and said hi, she looked so beautiful, I felt like the breath was knocked out of me and I didn't respond and walked away. Anyway I had a few instances like this with girls, but somehow always avoided doing anything with them. When I want to public places, I noticed IOIs from girls who were probably around my age. It was actually fun going outside back then and looking at girls, but I didn't often do it.
However, this all changed after my parents and I went on a trip to India that summer. The whole experience was awful, it was a religious pilgrimage that was annoying and frustrating. By the time I came back, I started receiving colder looks and treatment from strangers. Women started avoiding me and even other guys seemed less interested in interacting with me after meeting me. Welcome to the ugly life.
Since that summer puberty deformed my face, I have never once been genuinely attractive to any female. I always assumed I would be a success in life and my looks would help me out, but that summer destroyed my dreams and my life.
@TheGrayWolf @PLA1092 thoughts?
Last edited:
.
