I'm going to write a brief sexual history of Brad, a typical Chadlite:
Age 14: He lost his virginity to the girl next door, Jill. She was his first oneitis, They fucked each other when Jills parents weren't home, and fucked all summer long, 4-5 times a day and had sexcapades in his father's cabin, and Lake Shasta. He thought he was gonna marry her and live happily ever after.
Age 15: Brad freaked out and dumped Jill, because she got pregnant, Brad told her to get an abortion. At first she didn't, but then Brad's parents stepped in and paid her $30,000 to get it done. To this day Jill is depressed from the experience, and fantasies an alternate reality where she had the child and grew old with Brad, her first.
Age 16: Brad hooks up with Cindy, that chick from juvie. Brad gets into a world of drugs. Then Brad fingerbangs Cindy's sister, Liza, while she was sleeping at a house party. Liza was semi awake while it happened but she denies that it was sexual assault, and never tells anyone except a few friends that were jealous. He also fucks Monica after a couple dates, and gets a blowjob from Elana 3 days later.
Age 17: Brad dreams of becoming an aspiring DJ, so he downloads fruityloops and makes shitty house music, (he doesn't even like his own music, and blatantly rips off "The Prodigy") yet manages to seduce a new whore every month, as some kind of hometown Steve Aoki. He fucks Becca after meeting at a club. Nikki after meeting at a restaurant. Casey at a house party. He fucks Jill again, only because she threatened to kill herself. Then dumped her ass. He makes a myspace page, and manages to fuck Cindy, Jeni, Kay, and Marla by the end of the year.
Age 18: Brad uses his DJ earnings to buy a Mustang (actually his dad paid most of it, but he did chip in $2000 out of 30K). He uses his Mustang to seduce and fuck a new slut every month in the backseat of his car.
Age 19-21: Brad becomes a drug and sex addict while attending community college in Santa Barbara. He fucked about 30 girls in this period of time. He broke his jaw after fucking a marine's girlfriend. and decided to take up Muay Thai to prevent shit like that from happening again.
Age 22-25: Brad transfers to Arizona State as a communications major, and joins Delta Sigma Alpha, the most notorious fraternity on Greek Row. The frat members keep a large scoreboard on the amount of sexual partners they have. Brad feels highly inadequate to not even be in the top 5. He simply cannot pull the kinds of orgies Chad can pull every day. He feels so inadequate compared to Chad he gets his parents to send him to an expensive shrink who assures him that he is far above average, since he does pull about 3-4 new bitches a month. Unhappy with what he perceives as lies from his shrink, he takes it out on a small-statured Pakistani engineering student, Gurdeep. Brad beats the fuck out of Gurdeep's balls, in a bathroom for "being a tiny dicked sand nigger" and gets expelled from Arizona state. Gurdeep's testes were so heavily injured, the man could no longer reproduce or masturbate.
Age 26: Brad was sentenced 2 years for assault, his dad's laywer was able to get the hate crime offense waived. Brad served 6 months of his sentence. Brad became an alcoholic, when he moved back into his parent's home. Brad underwent a dry spell for a few months, until he forced himself to go to AA meetings. At AA he meets Marla again (a random slut he fucked from his myspace DJ days). They develop a close bond from being fuck ups. Marla takes it upon herself to change Brad and be her savior.
Age 27-32: Brad begins moonlighting as a pool boy. He starts to hit the gym again too. He and Marla get a ton of tats. Brad ends up relapsing into alcoholism and sex addiction again. Marla sticks by her man in spite of the blatant cheating. Brad ends up fucking a bunch of townie bitches he fucked back in his myspace days. He even drives back to Arizona state and attempts to sow his old wild oats again, forcing himself into a frat party he wasn't invited to. While he wasn't kicked out or anything, and managed to fuck a couple college hotties, the experience left him feeling empty.
Age 33-35: Brad returns to Marla, and wants to have a child. They have a Las Vegas wedding. Brad starts working for his dad's real estate business, and starts making a lot of money. They buy a house with a really shady loan, and he knocks Marla up. Then a few months later, Brad suggests that they have an open relationship. Marla thinks she is "bisexual" so she reluctantly agrees. Brad fucks a lot of swinging housewives and MILFs during house showings. Marla vents her problems to her gay straight male best friend who listens to her and gave the couple his spare truck, when their car broke down. Marla copes with this, till Brad returns one day, and says he hooked up with Jill (his first) and tells Marla that he is in love with Jill. Jill cancelled her prospective marriage to Timothy for Brad. Marla freaks out, and they go into debt paying for marriage counseling. Jill attempts suicide. Timothy tries to get back with Jill, but she just can't, she will always be in love with Brad. Timothy then commits suicide.
Age 36: Brad becomes inspired by his marriage counselor and his experience from his time under bars to become a born-again Christian, Brad starts denouncing sluts, while occasionally relapsing with a Las Vegas whore every now and then. He eventually becomes a pastor. Brad tracks down Gurdeep, the Pakistani student he assaulted. He shows up to his doorstep. Gurdeep still lives with his parents. Gurdeep is a depressed mess from the assault many years ago. He forgives Brad, they hug, and Brad offers Gurdeep dinner. Upon learning at the dire situation Gurdeep has been in Brad suggests they start a computer repair business together, Gurdeep can be the "tech guy" and he could be the "marketing guy and CEO." As Brad drives Gurdeep back to his parent's house, he asks about his sexual situation. Gurdeep tells Brad he is still a virgin, he says this with more self-hatred than blame (and does not even mention his balls are just mush from Brad's doing). Brad can't help but laugh at his face. He tells him he might have better luck in India, then returns back to California. Gurdeep commits suicide 6 days later. Brad never checked up on Gurdeep after that forgiveness meeting.
To this day, Brad is still jealous of Chad.
Age 14: He lost his virginity to the girl next door, Jill. She was his first oneitis, They fucked each other when Jills parents weren't home, and fucked all summer long, 4-5 times a day and had sexcapades in his father's cabin, and Lake Shasta. He thought he was gonna marry her and live happily ever after.
Age 15: Brad freaked out and dumped Jill, because she got pregnant, Brad told her to get an abortion. At first she didn't, but then Brad's parents stepped in and paid her $30,000 to get it done. To this day Jill is depressed from the experience, and fantasies an alternate reality where she had the child and grew old with Brad, her first.
Age 16: Brad hooks up with Cindy, that chick from juvie. Brad gets into a world of drugs. Then Brad fingerbangs Cindy's sister, Liza, while she was sleeping at a house party. Liza was semi awake while it happened but she denies that it was sexual assault, and never tells anyone except a few friends that were jealous. He also fucks Monica after a couple dates, and gets a blowjob from Elana 3 days later.
Age 17: Brad dreams of becoming an aspiring DJ, so he downloads fruityloops and makes shitty house music, (he doesn't even like his own music, and blatantly rips off "The Prodigy") yet manages to seduce a new whore every month, as some kind of hometown Steve Aoki. He fucks Becca after meeting at a club. Nikki after meeting at a restaurant. Casey at a house party. He fucks Jill again, only because she threatened to kill herself. Then dumped her ass. He makes a myspace page, and manages to fuck Cindy, Jeni, Kay, and Marla by the end of the year.
Age 18: Brad uses his DJ earnings to buy a Mustang (actually his dad paid most of it, but he did chip in $2000 out of 30K). He uses his Mustang to seduce and fuck a new slut every month in the backseat of his car.
Age 19-21: Brad becomes a drug and sex addict while attending community college in Santa Barbara. He fucked about 30 girls in this period of time. He broke his jaw after fucking a marine's girlfriend. and decided to take up Muay Thai to prevent shit like that from happening again.
Age 22-25: Brad transfers to Arizona State as a communications major, and joins Delta Sigma Alpha, the most notorious fraternity on Greek Row. The frat members keep a large scoreboard on the amount of sexual partners they have. Brad feels highly inadequate to not even be in the top 5. He simply cannot pull the kinds of orgies Chad can pull every day. He feels so inadequate compared to Chad he gets his parents to send him to an expensive shrink who assures him that he is far above average, since he does pull about 3-4 new bitches a month. Unhappy with what he perceives as lies from his shrink, he takes it out on a small-statured Pakistani engineering student, Gurdeep. Brad beats the fuck out of Gurdeep's balls, in a bathroom for "being a tiny dicked sand nigger" and gets expelled from Arizona state. Gurdeep's testes were so heavily injured, the man could no longer reproduce or masturbate.
Age 26: Brad was sentenced 2 years for assault, his dad's laywer was able to get the hate crime offense waived. Brad served 6 months of his sentence. Brad became an alcoholic, when he moved back into his parent's home. Brad underwent a dry spell for a few months, until he forced himself to go to AA meetings. At AA he meets Marla again (a random slut he fucked from his myspace DJ days). They develop a close bond from being fuck ups. Marla takes it upon herself to change Brad and be her savior.
Age 27-32: Brad begins moonlighting as a pool boy. He starts to hit the gym again too. He and Marla get a ton of tats. Brad ends up relapsing into alcoholism and sex addiction again. Marla sticks by her man in spite of the blatant cheating. Brad ends up fucking a bunch of townie bitches he fucked back in his myspace days. He even drives back to Arizona state and attempts to sow his old wild oats again, forcing himself into a frat party he wasn't invited to. While he wasn't kicked out or anything, and managed to fuck a couple college hotties, the experience left him feeling empty.
Age 33-35: Brad returns to Marla, and wants to have a child. They have a Las Vegas wedding. Brad starts working for his dad's real estate business, and starts making a lot of money. They buy a house with a really shady loan, and he knocks Marla up. Then a few months later, Brad suggests that they have an open relationship. Marla thinks she is "bisexual" so she reluctantly agrees. Brad fucks a lot of swinging housewives and MILFs during house showings. Marla vents her problems to her gay straight male best friend who listens to her and gave the couple his spare truck, when their car broke down. Marla copes with this, till Brad returns one day, and says he hooked up with Jill (his first) and tells Marla that he is in love with Jill. Jill cancelled her prospective marriage to Timothy for Brad. Marla freaks out, and they go into debt paying for marriage counseling. Jill attempts suicide. Timothy tries to get back with Jill, but she just can't, she will always be in love with Brad. Timothy then commits suicide.
Age 36: Brad becomes inspired by his marriage counselor and his experience from his time under bars to become a born-again Christian, Brad starts denouncing sluts, while occasionally relapsing with a Las Vegas whore every now and then. He eventually becomes a pastor. Brad tracks down Gurdeep, the Pakistani student he assaulted. He shows up to his doorstep. Gurdeep still lives with his parents. Gurdeep is a depressed mess from the assault many years ago. He forgives Brad, they hug, and Brad offers Gurdeep dinner. Upon learning at the dire situation Gurdeep has been in Brad suggests they start a computer repair business together, Gurdeep can be the "tech guy" and he could be the "marketing guy and CEO." As Brad drives Gurdeep back to his parent's house, he asks about his sexual situation. Gurdeep tells Brad he is still a virgin, he says this with more self-hatred than blame (and does not even mention his balls are just mush from Brad's doing). Brad can't help but laugh at his face. He tells him he might have better luck in India, then returns back to California. Gurdeep commits suicide 6 days later. Brad never checked up on Gurdeep after that forgiveness meeting.
To this day, Brad is still jealous of Chad.
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