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You may have read my post regarding my traumatic experience with a false allegation from a woman which landed me in trouble with the law. Still finding myself ensnared in this difficult predicament, I am feeling the sneaking suspicion every so often that this process is actually teaching me valuable life lessons, removing my naivete and reminding me of the values I hold strongest.
Here is what I have gained from this experience
Peace to all brothers (and sisters)
Here is what I have gained from this experience
- Clarity of mind - amidst the anxiety and depression there are beautiful moments of clarity. I no longer am under as many illusions about the world. I can see things how they really are. I see a path forwards through the storm
- An experience - no matter how bad the experience, it is an experience nonetheless. - an experience which, when used correctly, can provide me with wisdom and the ability to help and advise others who are faced with a similar situation
- Self-knowledge - My self knowledge has taken off since this happened - finding no comfort or predictability in the outer world, I have had to go within - I have learned so much about neurodiversity and how that affects my interpersonal interactions, communication and day to day difficulties in life
- (Unfortunately) a mild distrust of females and a lack of motivation to have any deep involvement with any new, "unknown" women - this is really unfortunate but in my situation it makes complete sense and is my self-preservation instinct kicking in
- Don't seek female attention or validation - this one is about becoming a stronger, more resilient man who doesn't need, crave or rely on the validation (verbal, physical, emotional) of women. This works because the more you "trim back your insecurities" and focus on being yourself, the more the right kinds of women will be attracted to you
- Believe in yourself and your experience - anyone who is faced with a situation such as mine will find themselves being "gas-lit" again and again throughout the legal process. Having an allegation repeated back to you time and time again will have an effect on any man, and you may find your morale dropping and your conviction in the truth of your experience waning - remember this - the truth is the truth, no matter if anyone believes it. Better to stand by it and have no regrets about being cowardly or folding at the first sign of trouble
- If you are a man suffering with Autism, be very careful about trusting everyone (especially authority figures) - I find that we tend to believe everyone else is as innocent, honest, fair, logical and impartial as ourselves - which is just not the case. Don't let you sense of justice cause you to idolise authority and police (for example like I did, which led to my honest and open behaviour towards them which only served to backfire and get me in trouble. I had mistakenly assumed, as someone with a strong sense of justice, that police were "in my corner")
- Recognise the source of evil - weakness, insecurity, ego and woundedness - those who are hurt or have been hurt, hurt others. Not always even because they consciously intend to - if someone has been hurt badly in their past, hurt is the language they speak. They lash out more easily. They are more defensive and have a bigger (and more fragile) ego to cover up their pain. Laid back and relaxed people with "chill" (for want of a better word) - think Morgan Freeman - do not do things which have the potential to ruin someone's life
Peace to all brothers (and sisters)
