We were never supposed to notice the gap -- the lack of intimacy; let alone live it for so long. It breeds awareness, depression, resentment, then numbness. It's a permanent hole that persists all through one's life; the permanent dissonance between what you know should exist in a life, and what's missing in yours. You'll feel like you have the capacity to love, to care for someone, to enjoy warmth and life, but you really don't. I noticed this phenomenon in the manifesto of Elliot Rodger. Sometimes, he'd be sentimental -- lamenting about experiencing life with a nice girl, and in subsequent times, he's seething hard and wants to end the world. He would have ended up a domestic abuser if he got into a relationship anytime from 17. You might be different, but definitely not -- and could never be normal.
Don't forget, you're here forever.
Don't forget, you're here forever.
