Venting The loss of my Innocence

[Misogynist Vegeta]

When you are living with OCD no memory is too safe to be tainted with the darkness of new memories, You see something on the Internet that's repulsive to you there is nothing you can do as it will be trapped in your memory for the rest of your life as by act of wanting to forget your OCD mind forever remembers then it attaches that memory to activities that you did while you were trying to forget, There is no escape.

I was playing a game I used to almost obsessed with today and for just a moment I felt that Childlike innocence rushing through my brain but of course moments later my mind had to remind of something disgusting to ruin my experience, This makes me feel a bit suicidal as even if I were to become a successful man wealthy enough to have the best doctors it's seems like the best I could ever do distract myself long enough to feel that same childlike innocence that my mind had before the OCD took complete control of my mind.

There is no relaxing to the peaceful nature around me playing ds games like I'm kid again because there is always something vile at the back of mind and I cannot escape it for more then just a moment, If only I could find some kind of inner peace within me thinks wouldn't have such an awful outlook but that peace never comes.

 

[Geno]

I have this too. It has happened for ages too since I lost my innocence when I was quite young

 

[aryanmikmaq]

Become a stoner and get memory loss

 

[Lonelyus]

Become a stoner and get memory loss

 

[gluttony]

I've had worse real world memories than what the internet can pump in my face, after all it's just pixels on a screen. Those memories often sit in the back of my mind all the time.

 

[Misogynist Vegeta]

I've had worse real world memories than what the internet can pump in my face, after all it's just pixels on a screen. Those memories often sit in the back of my mind all the time.

Really? What kind of real world memories?

 

[gluttony]

Really? What kind of real world memories?

Abuse mainly.

 

[Misogynist Vegeta]

Abuse mainly.

Oh, That's awful.

 

[antisocialcel]

live as one with the bad memories

 

[gluttony]

Oh, That's awful.

Yes it is, being physically beaten is awful.