Introduction
I am not sure if anyone here will bother reading this, but I've been inspired to document all of the events that lead to me becoming the bitter, hateful person you see posting here - if anything just to let my emotions out. Looking back on my childhood, it's amazing how hopeful and often happy I was. But society couldn't have it that way, could it?
So anyway, lets dive into my tragic story; shall we? Since I wish to remain anonymous, I won't be using any names or specific locations.
The Beginning
I was born in New Westminster in the year 1998. My parents immigrated to Canada from Ex-Yugoslavia in the hopes of escaping the civil war that was happening at the time. I was actually the only one in my family born in Canada, being the youngest of three siblings. Unfortunately, this was only one of *many* things I happened to be 'unique' in.
I don't remember any of my time as a baby, but apparently I cried a lot and was a picky eater. One of the first toys I ever got was a Winnie The Pooh stuffie, which I bonded with the moment he was handed to me. In a way, that bear is the one thing representing my childhood - all the times I played with him, how I took him everywhere I went, just the joyful innocence I possessed at the time. I still have him, and he looks much different than he used to when I was a kid. His vibrant yellow color has faded away and he's covered in stitches, almost symbolizing how my mental state became worse and worse as I got older.
Funnily enough, I never got over the love for milk I developed back then. I still drink it like crazy even now.
Elementary school
It's sad to say, but this is when my happiness was at it's peak - particularly grades 1-5.
My parents moved a lot due to my dad's failed ambitions and inability to stay in the same place. I was constantly forced to make new friends, but I always managed to do so wherever I went. I even had female friends! It's simply amazing how different life was for me.
At one point, I lived in Cyprus. It was a strange and unfamiliar place, especially since mostly everyone spoke Greek. We also had to wear uniforms, which was quite odd. This was also the point where I realized I was attracted to girls, constantly holding the door open for them in hopes they notice me.
When I was in the Third Grade, my family finally decided to settle down. I lived in a nice complex that we rented, which would be my home up until a year ago.
When I think about it, I was behind my peers even then. When everyone was walking I was still in a stroller, when everyone was learning to do things on their own I refused to separate from my mom's side. I never liked the idea of "growing up" like most kids did. I also wasn't the brightest or most socially aware kid out there, constantly blurting out things I had zero knowledge about.
nevertheless, I still continued to make friends. I had two friends at school (who sadly couldn't stand each-other) and a friend/neighbor who I was pretty close with at the time. Through one of my school friends I met a dark haired guy of Spanish descent - someone who would be my best friend for the next nine years of my life. This was the only true friend I've ever had, someone who I came to view as a brother.
When I was nine years old, my bastard of a father decided to divorce my mom and leave the family in financial ruin. I was never that close with him since he worked all day and was rather short-tempered, but I cried anyway because I knew how difficult it was for my mom. Eventually, he stopped paying child support and left for Serbia. I haven't talked to him since.
Now it was just me, my mom, and my older brother. (My sister was the oldest and moved away when I was really young) My brother had fallen in with a bad crowd at the time, (Something I wasn't aware of) but that didn't stop him bringing a different girl home every night - a reminder that he is far more attractive than I could ever hope to be. I honestly regret not being as close with my brother as I should have been, we argued a lot back then due to how stubborn we both were. We did have a common interest in video games though, something he introduced me to with the old NES and Playstation. I still have fond memories of when he gave me his old PS1 and all of his Crash Bandicoot games or when he let me watch him play 'mature' titles. We'd also play together from time to time, which was pretty great.
After graduating elementary school, I felt fearful as I was never one to embrace change. But little did I know however, how much suffering the following years would bring...
More to come sometime later.
I am not sure if anyone here will bother reading this, but I've been inspired to document all of the events that lead to me becoming the bitter, hateful person you see posting here - if anything just to let my emotions out. Looking back on my childhood, it's amazing how hopeful and often happy I was. But society couldn't have it that way, could it?
So anyway, lets dive into my tragic story; shall we? Since I wish to remain anonymous, I won't be using any names or specific locations.
The Beginning
I was born in New Westminster in the year 1998. My parents immigrated to Canada from Ex-Yugoslavia in the hopes of escaping the civil war that was happening at the time. I was actually the only one in my family born in Canada, being the youngest of three siblings. Unfortunately, this was only one of *many* things I happened to be 'unique' in.
I don't remember any of my time as a baby, but apparently I cried a lot and was a picky eater. One of the first toys I ever got was a Winnie The Pooh stuffie, which I bonded with the moment he was handed to me. In a way, that bear is the one thing representing my childhood - all the times I played with him, how I took him everywhere I went, just the joyful innocence I possessed at the time. I still have him, and he looks much different than he used to when I was a kid. His vibrant yellow color has faded away and he's covered in stitches, almost symbolizing how my mental state became worse and worse as I got older.
Funnily enough, I never got over the love for milk I developed back then. I still drink it like crazy even now.
Elementary school
It's sad to say, but this is when my happiness was at it's peak - particularly grades 1-5.
My parents moved a lot due to my dad's failed ambitions and inability to stay in the same place. I was constantly forced to make new friends, but I always managed to do so wherever I went. I even had female friends! It's simply amazing how different life was for me.
At one point, I lived in Cyprus. It was a strange and unfamiliar place, especially since mostly everyone spoke Greek. We also had to wear uniforms, which was quite odd. This was also the point where I realized I was attracted to girls, constantly holding the door open for them in hopes they notice me.
When I was in the Third Grade, my family finally decided to settle down. I lived in a nice complex that we rented, which would be my home up until a year ago.
When I think about it, I was behind my peers even then. When everyone was walking I was still in a stroller, when everyone was learning to do things on their own I refused to separate from my mom's side. I never liked the idea of "growing up" like most kids did. I also wasn't the brightest or most socially aware kid out there, constantly blurting out things I had zero knowledge about.
nevertheless, I still continued to make friends. I had two friends at school (who sadly couldn't stand each-other) and a friend/neighbor who I was pretty close with at the time. Through one of my school friends I met a dark haired guy of Spanish descent - someone who would be my best friend for the next nine years of my life. This was the only true friend I've ever had, someone who I came to view as a brother.
When I was nine years old, my bastard of a father decided to divorce my mom and leave the family in financial ruin. I was never that close with him since he worked all day and was rather short-tempered, but I cried anyway because I knew how difficult it was for my mom. Eventually, he stopped paying child support and left for Serbia. I haven't talked to him since.
Now it was just me, my mom, and my older brother. (My sister was the oldest and moved away when I was really young) My brother had fallen in with a bad crowd at the time, (Something I wasn't aware of) but that didn't stop him bringing a different girl home every night - a reminder that he is far more attractive than I could ever hope to be. I honestly regret not being as close with my brother as I should have been, we argued a lot back then due to how stubborn we both were. We did have a common interest in video games though, something he introduced me to with the old NES and Playstation. I still have fond memories of when he gave me his old PS1 and all of his Crash Bandicoot games or when he let me watch him play 'mature' titles. We'd also play together from time to time, which was pretty great.
After graduating elementary school, I felt fearful as I was never one to embrace change. But little did I know however, how much suffering the following years would bring...
More to come sometime later.
