Incels.is - Involuntary Celibate

Welcome! This is a forum for involuntary celibates: people who lack a significant other. Are you lonely and wish you had someone in your life? You're not alone! Join our forum and talk to people just like you.

SuicideFuel The Indifference of Existence

  • Thread starter bigantennaemay1
  • Start date
bigantennaemay1

bigantennaemay1

Aspie social drifter without purpose or home
★★★★★
Joined
Nov 8, 2017
Posts
15,157
Online
80d 15h 21m
I was a poor son of a bitch, unlucky right from birth.
I was birthed into a cruel, cold world as an aspie, a defect.
I was autistic: and nobody cared.

I remember a book I read as a child, very vividly.
"Goodnight, Moon," I believe it was called.
The visuals in the book really stood out to me; I loved the gentle shades of blue.
Thinking back on that book has given me calm amongst squalls.
Even though nobody cares.

I still remember, to this day, my first bully.
I was in Kindergarten; I was sitting on the bus, coming to home.
He was slapping me in the back of the head. It was not a favorable arrangement for me.
I remember that I cried, and moved to the front of the bus.
He laughed; all the kids laughed. I was humiliated. Tormented. Bullied for it later, when the other students heard about it.
And did my parents care? Did the bus driver care? Did the teacher care? No. Nobody cared, about the weird kid being bullied.

I was unable to form friendships all throughout Kindergarten, first grade, second grade.
I formed many bullies around me, though. One such bully I remember early on;
I remember in the second grade, one of my bullies convinced me to piss on the walls of the bathroom, in the elementary school.
I was a gullible and stupid child then, and he was tricking me; deceived me into believing he would no longer be a bully, but a friend, if I did.
He was going to do it, too. In fact, he already had.
So I did.
I was desperately lonely, even then. My bully reported me, and I got in trouble.
I remember the long office hours with my parents. I remember being made to clean up my piss.
They made me clean my bully's piss, too; thought it was mine, though I tried to explain it was not.
It was humiliating. It was demeaning. I remember wondering why I believed him, questioning how gullible I really am.
Did anybody listen? Did anyone believe me? Did anyone care? Did my parents care? No. Nobody cared.

I remember fourth grade coming about. I remember my mother being concerned about my lack of social status.
She wanted me to have friends. She spoke to my counselor. I was present, and wishing I was at home, playing my video games.
It was humiliating, talking about me, in front of me, as if I was a failed science experiment. Did they care how I felt? No. Nobody gave a single shit.

They set me up with two boys from my grade. They were going to be my "friends."
It was a playdate, of course, but I had no understanding of this at the time. I thought they were actually my friends.
It wouldn't be until years later that I would realize they were not; they never were. They never cared.

I remember they would try to distance themselves from me; when I tried to sit with them in the lunch room, they would close the gap.
Make sure there was no space for the special kid to sit down. Most of the time, I had to give up, and go sit at another table, alone.
I ate my lunches alone, as I always did. Everybody saw. Nobody cared.

My playdates' mothers were friends with my mother; their mothers forced them to invite me to sleepovers and birthday parties.
When I showed up at their birthdays, I gave them their gift, and they begrudgingly accepted. And then I was left alone as soon as all the parents had left.
Did anyone care that the weird kid was alone? Abandoned? No. Nobody cared.

I remember how in fourth grade, I had my first crush on a girl.
I saw her on the playground during recess; I still remember her name. She was wearing a blue dress and blue tights. I don't know why I remember that.
She wasn't mean to me right away, like the other students were. I thought she was friendly.
Turned out she wasn't. I wanted to be friends; she walked away, disgusted.
I still crushed on her for many years following. It was a weakness of mine. One I am thankful I have purged from my system.
Thinking back, I was being picked on, at the time, just before that.
I think she just felt pity. More likely she was virtue signalling. After all, it's not like anybody ever cared.

I remember fifth grade vividly. I had three teachers; a strange arrangement. I was also diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome.
I felt humiliated; not just for being mentally ill; "broken." But also for the name of the affliction I was cursed with:
It was a name that would haunt me for years.
I came to a bitter realization at that point; I realized that I was "different" from my peers, and that this was the reason why they had abandoned me. Exiled me.
It was the first time I thought about the rope; I thought about grabbing a fork from the kitchen. I used to sit and stare at the electrical outlet in my room.
I was depressed. At such a young age. And did anybody care? No. I was alone, in this cold, dark world.

I remember when I entered sixth grade: when I entered middle school.
My playdates were free of their mothers' clutches, and abandoned me. They no longer wished to be seen around me.
I remember the last time I ever hung out with either of them; one of them had been brought over to my house by his mother.
She made him hand me a gift, undoubtedly picked out and wrapped by her. It was a magic 8 ball.
He was looking at the ground the whole time. This was summer between fifth and sixth grade.
We went to my basement. He brought his gamecube over, and Pikmin. I sat and watched him play. He wouldn't let me play; he wouldn't say a word.
We sat in silence.
Later, he went home. That was the last time I ever considered myself to having friends.
And nobody cared.

My "friends" abandoned me when we entered middle school. I started to hate them for it.
That was the first time in my life I ever felt true hatred; I hated them for leaving me. I hated all my other peers for the way they had treated me.
But I tried to hide it. It was an expanded student body, now: students were brought in from the other elementary schools, and we were all combined in one class.
I remember getting my locker in sixth grade; we had shared lockers due to limited volume.
My locker mate was not pleased with having to share with me. I remember trying to introduce myself; he got violently angry.
He asked me why the school had to stick him with the special needs kid. I had nothing to say.
I lowered the hand I had reached out for a shake, as he pushed past me and hit my shoulder; I stood there, feeling humiliated.
Some students nearby were snickering. Some male, some female. I was humiliated, embarrassed, and treated like trash, and nobody cared.

Things only got worse as the years went on.
The bullies were getting more ruthless, and ever more clever; they were masters of messing with me when teachers weren't around.
They were also masters of getting me to retaliate just as a teacher would round the corner of the hall.
I always got in trouble. Nobody would listen when I tried to explain the situation; my parents, my counselors, my teachers, nobody cared.

I tried to make new friends when I got to middle school; I was more brutally rejected.
Students got angrier and louder in their rejections of my friendship. Some of them would bully me, and hit me, or push me into lockers, or the walls, and crush me.
They didn't like it when I was around.
I tried to talk to kids between class; they would walk away.
I tried to sit down with kids at lunch; they would get up and move to another table, or another class.
I tried to join groups for group projects in class, or be picked for gym teams;
I was always the last picked, and the teachers would either force a group or team to take me, or I'd work on a team-size project on my own.
I saw some kids in junior high school, playing yugioh at a table during lunch. I liked yugioh.
I walked over, and sat down. I watched them play for a little bit, then tried to strike conversation about the game.
They packed up their cards, got up, and went to another room. I felt humiliated, and mistreated, and nobody cared.

My counselors, and my many therapists I had been to see, were of no help to me.
They did not help me learn to socialize; they did nothing to aid with my disability.
I do remember they would gaslight me all the time, and they would tell me that I can't defend myself from my bullies.
They asked me a bunch of stupid questions, that I did not wish to answer. I was punished for this, and resented my mother, and my therapists.
They thought I was the instigator; they treated me like I was starting all these fights. But I wasn't. I didn't like being hit.
My father would hit me. He would often tackle me, pin me down, and yell in my face, whenever I acted up in school, or whenever I had an autistic meltdown at home.
It was terrifying. I thought he was a monster. I hated him; I hated my mother, too.
She smothered me, sheltered me, and was harder on me than my counselors.
I remember I was once grounded for six months straight, because I got a C on one of my report cards.
I was miserable. I was unhappy. And now, I was left without the only cope I had: video games. Did anybody care? No. Nobody cared.

I used to watch cartoons when I was young. I remember enjoying Extreme Ghostbusters.
And I would watch Jackie Chan Adventures, because we only had local TV, and no cable or dish growing up, so I didn't have that fancy Nickelodeon stuff.
And Jackie Chan Adventures was better than the other shit that was on; namely, Pokemon, and capeshit garbage that I hated even back then.
It grew on me. I watched TV when nobody would hang out with me. I would watch TV because nobody wanted to be my friend.
Nobody cared.

I remember I used to pray to God for help. This was back when I genuinely believed in the Christian faith. Well, Lutheran, but who's counting?
But I was ignored. God didn't care; He did not love me. I was a reject. His failure. He would not help me.
Even God was too busy to care.

I remember in junior high, I played card games with a counselor during lunch period. It was embarrassing, but I was forced to go.
I didn't want to be the special kid going off to talk to a counselor during lunch; she would ask about what was going on, and I said nothing.
I didn't want to be there; I wanted to be with the other kids. The normal kids. I wanted to be normal.
But did anybody care? Did anybody listen? No. Nobody cared.

I had a second crush on a girl, when I was in junior high. She was in my art class; and she was pretty. Out of my league. I remember her name, too.
I remember hoping that she would ask me out; I was naive, back then. Sheltered; autistic. I did not realize that was not the way things worked.
I truly believed men and women were equal, and I don't mean I was indoctrinated into feminism. That's just how I used to see everyone: as all the same.
So I logically concluded that, if guys could ask out girls, then girls could, and would, ask out guys.
I was too shy, and lovestruck, and didn't know how to talk to girls back then. I didn't know how to approach; I didn't know what to say.
I hoped she would take the initiative, instead. She didn't. What a surprise.
I felt empty. I just wanted a girlfriend. Didn't have to be her; could be anyone at the school, really. But nobody wanted me.
Nobody cared.

I remember when I was in high school, in my junior and senior years.
I was in a computer programming class each year. It was an entirely new concept to me, at the time.
I remember in my senior year, a classmate was into Legend of Zelda. I liked Legend of Zelda; I was playing A Link to the Past in class, on Game Boy.
He also had that game. I remember asking if he would play Four Swords with me, so I could get the collectibles.
It took some convincing, but eventually, I was allowed, for a few weeks at the end of senior year, to join him and his friends outside during lunch, so we could play.
I never did unlock everything; he was too good, and wouldn't let me get any of the unlockables, even though he had all of them, already.
I tried to make friends with him; I wanted to know if he'd hang out after graduation. He never gave me an answer.
I walked home on my final day in high school, instead of taking the bus. I was reflecting on how much everything had gone wrong in my life.
And did anybody care? No, nobody cared.

I remember spending most of my lunch periods in high school hiding out in the library. It kept the bullies at bay, and I could indulge in a new hobby I had at the time: reading.
I remember I would play online games on the computers, too. Things like Line Rider and Snowball Fight.
I also played games on my graphing calculator. I would play those on my bus rides to and from school, as well, and in class.
My math teachers weren't happy about this; neither were my parents. In fact, my parents were rather unhappy with the fact all my grades were dropping.
I was depressed; I couldn't focus or find the motivation to do my homework. But it's not as if anybody cared.

I remember my third crush. I even still remember her name, as well. We went to high school together.
I remember trying to talk to her, but I couldn't. The words got stuck in my mouth; my tongue dried completely, and felt swollen.
We were in a English/Language Arts class together. The teacher assigned us a speech project; we had to talk about a hobby we liked.
I remember giving two speeches, one in college, and this one in high school; one of them was about drawing mazes. I don't remember which.
I was really big into mazes when I was young. I had several maze books with graphical mazes, and would draw many of my own, among other things.
I made some really detailed mazes.
I remember my crush giving a speech in that class about dancing. I remember a tip about spinning, about fixing your eyes on unmoving objects as you go, so you don't get dizzy.
I daydreamed about us going on a date, and dancing. I thought it was romantic.
I deluded myself into thinking she locked eyes with me during that speech, as she was spinning; I thought she was interested in me.
I was a dumbass, of course. A retarded aspie, who didn't realize what was going on, didn't understand social situations, and had many imagined beliefs of how others really viewed me.
I tried talking to her again, after that; I really wanted to dance with her. I thought maybe I could ask her to a school dance.
My tongue locked up again; I didn't no go to the dance. And not one person ever cared.

I remember seeing my third crush in college, too. We went to the same school; at least, we did, in the first two years. I don't remember seeing her after that.
We crossed paths walking opposite directions across the soccer field on campus. She ignored me; walked right by, but swerved a bit so as to distance herself.
I couldn't get her attention; she wasn't interested. She didn't care.

College was the first time I ever asked a girl out. She was married, and I did not see the ring; it was humiliating.
But it was also exhilarating: I was finally able to do something I did not have the guts to do.
And I continued to try.
You see, I had already been trying for years by that point to overcome my disability, learn how to properly socialize, and get over my fear of talking to girls.
Part of the motivation was from my mother, actually; she would mock me and make fun of me for not being able to read her facial expressions.
Sometimes, in the evenings, she would cover her mouth, or her eyes, and ask me to tell her what emotion she was expressing.
I could never tell.
She would laugh at me every time. I wanted to prove her wrong; I wanted her to feel humiliation for once. So I started to learn about my disability, and tried to learn how to be normal.
I remember I used to be mocked for the way I walk, and run: I held my arms stiff at my sides, you see. I would also hunch over very far when running.
I tried to learn how to swing my arms in cadence with my walk; I watched other students as they walked around.
I wanted to mimic their behavior. So I practiced.
I habitualized it. To this day, I walk normal, and have a normal, light swing to my arms with each step. That's not all I accomplished, but it was one of the earliest.
But did anybody ever notice? Did my mother notice? No. Nobody cared.

I thought college would be a new start for me; the new start that middle school proved not to be.
And so I would continue to think, until graduation. I was finally able to socialize; more accurately, I found people who would tolerate my presence on campus.
I tried to make friends; I tried to establish connections, and tried to coax them into inviting me to hang out.
Sometimes, I would ask them to hang out. They never really gave a straight answer, but I figured it was just too early.
It was slowly dawning on me, though, as my years in college went by: no girls ever said "yes" to my approaches; nobody ever actually wanted to hang out as friends.
I was becoming severely depressed, once again, as I was slowly becoming aware of this horrible truth.
My grades were slipping; so badly, in fact, I was threatened on numerous occasions of being kicked out of the school for having grades too low.
I still managed to graduate, but only barely. And after graduation, I tried to get in contact with all my "friends" from college;
I just wanted to hit them up, ask how things were going. See if they knew of any open positions I could get into.
I was ghosted by every last one of them. Not a single one of my peers from college cared.

I was stuck for many years after working a minimum wage job, paying off my student loans.
Working with a government agency meant to help people with disabilities find employment; they were terrible. They were of no help to me.
One of the recruitment agencies that worked through them had even been investigated by the state for fraud, at the time I was working with them.
Go figure. Only I could have that luck.
And I tried. I tried so hard to land a job. But employers weren't interested; every one asked my GPA.
I never heard from them after that. So I lost hope. I gave up, and stopped trying.
And my mother was overbearing through this time. Watching my every move. So I became a night owl; I stayed up at night, playing video games.
When the sun came up in the morning, I would go to sleep, so I wouldn't have to deal with her.
I'd go to work in the afternoon, just after waking up. I was miserable. I was working a part-time job in IT for part of this time, too; totaling fifty hours a week between the two jobs. I was stressed to the max. I was losing my grip on reality.
But nobody cared.

My mother wouldn't let up on my case. Not until she passed away, in any case.
She died of cancer. I remember feeling relief at not having a helicopter over my head, anymore. But I also felt great loss.
It was around this time I was led on, too, by a girl at work.
All my coworkers were telling me she was interested in me; she was flirting with me. So I asked her for her number.
She was texting at all times of the day. I was getting advice from my coworkers on how to proceed; I did not want to fuck up.
This was still before my black pilled days, you see. And I still had hope; she would crush the last of that, though.
After a week of talking, my coworkers told me I should ask her out. So I did. I still remember it to this day; I remember the tornado siren going off around that time.
It was just a test; it was a bright and sunny day. I remember it vividly, like it only happened a year ago. In fact, it was eight years ago, now.
I popped the question, asked her out on a date; she said she thought we were just friends, and wanted to stay that way.
I remember my stomach sinking painfully into the ground; I gave a half-hearted agreement, and barely payed attention to the rest of the conversation.
I was floored. I felt betrayed. It wasn't just that I was led on by this girl, only to be rejected and friendzoned; I was humiliated, because my coworkers had misled me. They lied to me. And not a single one of them gave a single shit.

This was the hardest time of my life. My mother had passed; I had just had my heart pulled out of my chest, and curb stomped in humiliating fashion.
I was crushed, broken. My life was spiraling.
My depression became incredibly severe. I was, once again, strongly considering the rope.
My anxiety and stress were through the roof each day; oftentimes, I couldn't stop my hands from shaking, and breathing often hurt something fierce.
For the next three months, this girl kept flirting with me, even after establishing the friendzone. It was not good for my mental health; I think she was doing it to torment me.
I had to tell her to stop, and to leave me alone.
I was distressed and distraught. I belonged to an anonymous forum online: Two Cans and String. I no longer have an account, as I was IPbanned for saying "nigger."
But I was speaking to somebody on there about my problems; a normie business student, I believe, who would listen to me complain about my life.
Who would listen to me talk about how shattered I felt, how horrible everything was, and how intense was the pain I felt at being led on and rejected.
As those months dragged on, I came closer and closer to the rope.
It was near the end of summer I finally decided: for the first time (and last time since) in my life, I actually fully intended to do the deed, and embrace my fate.
But he talked me out of it. Somehow, someway. I allowed myself to continue suffering in misery because some random nobody told me not to.
But they didn't really care. Nobody cared.

I remember this was when I was starting to feel bitter and jaded; and I felt resentful toward the girl who had led me on.
I told my feelings to this anonymous business student, and they cut off communication with me. They weren't pleased with where my thoughts were headed.
Said I was becoming "misogynistic."
Frustrated, and with nowhere else to turn, I searched the internet for other lonely souls, to see if I might not be the only one.
And that was how I found the ForeverAlone subreddit.
I lurked for many months on that sub. I was too shy, and too afraid to post. They talked often of the incels, and I would chuckle at these obscene boogeymen who were evil woman-haters.
But, I grew curious over time, and one day, poked my nose into the incel subreddit, yes, the OG incel sub, to see what the monkeys were doing in the zoo.
And I was shocked at what I found; I thought these were evil animals, making shit up, and being horrible just because they were horrible people.
Instead, what I found was brotherhood, and their so-called "hateful ideology" was actually backed up with much scientific data.
I was aghast. I realized I had been spending time with the wrong crowd. I joined the incels that day, and found comfort in a new community.
But still, did anybody care? No. I was nobody, nothing.

To this day, I sit alone, in my room, in my father's house, unable to move out due to lack of resources and social support.
I browse this forum. I engage in my copes. I get personally attacked by JBW copers who do not recognize my legitimate inceldom.
I still deal with the gaslighting, and the bullying. I am a failure in my career, I am a failure at making friends, I am a failure at getting into a relationship and having sex.
I am a loser.
I drink every night, and get high when my depression becomes too much to handle, or I'm struck with my lifelong insomnia.
Tonight it's depression.
I used to be on the other side of the fence, in a desperate bid to cling to what little hope I managed to sustain throughout the beginning of my life, up until eight years ago.
Now, I am fully black pilled, but also fully and severely depressed, and with no hope nor ambition. I see myself sinking, toward an inescapable event horizon;
With each passing day, I lose more and more energy, and motivation to do any work, or try anything in my life.
Why bother? Every time I've tried at anything in my life, I've only ever failed, and in humiliating fashion, no less.
I cannot succeed. The universe is set against me. That much is clear to me, now.
I am a lonely man.
I am a suffering man.
I am a broken man.

And the greatest joke of all? NOBODY CARES.

:fuk:
 
Internalizzz

Internalizzz

Permanent KHHV | in the here, in the now
★★★
Joined
Oct 15, 2020
Posts
1,298
Online
21d 19h 23m
I understand brocel, all I can say is I admire your strength for making it thus far.
 
bigantennaemay1

bigantennaemay1

Aspie social drifter without purpose or home
★★★★★
Joined
Nov 8, 2017
Posts
15,157
Online
80d 15h 21m
D

depressed_trucel753

The purge of the bluepill
Joined
Sep 11, 2021
Posts
61
Online
1d 22h 59m
A detailed and compelling account of a story far too common among us. Stay strong, fellow aspiecel
 
bigantennaemay1

bigantennaemay1

Aspie social drifter without purpose or home
★★★★★
Joined
Nov 8, 2017
Posts
15,157
Online
80d 15h 21m
NorthernWind

NorthernWind

Overlord
★★★★★
Joined
Feb 13, 2021
Posts
7,804
Online
175d 14h 36m
Drinking is not good. I have done stupid things while being drunk.
 
Khanivore

Khanivore

you better wrk than sit here like dimwit
★★★★★
Joined
Sep 15, 2022
Posts
10,516
Online
67d 20h 17m
Shit man, you are totally wrecked.. i have no words in english for you, but in russian i could offer you all support i got

well, i can message you here, at least something

Nobody cares fermi too, the existence is debilitating
 
bigantennaemay1

bigantennaemay1

Aspie social drifter without purpose or home
★★★★★
Joined
Nov 8, 2017
Posts
15,157
Online
80d 15h 21m
Drinking is not good. I have done stupid things while being drunk.
I drink to cope, and I haven't done anything stupid while drunk. Hard to anything stupid, anyway, when you're drinking alone in your own room.
 
based zoomer

based zoomer

Recruit
★★
Joined
Sep 20, 2022
Posts
146
Online
1d 8h 12m
Now, I am fully black pilled, but also fully and severely depressed, and with no hope nor ambition.
The only hope that remains for you is the love of Christ. God might not magically remove all of your problems, but He will give you hope, because then you know that there's always something better and more important to look forwards to than the pain of the past and present.
Isaiah 40:31 says: "but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint."

PM me if you want to learn more and are interested.
God bless.
 
Magicmirror

Magicmirror

fortnitecel
★★★★★
Joined
Jul 18, 2022
Posts
1,468
Online
35d 5h 39m
People only care for others when there is a reward because caring for others takes effort. If nobody cares about you then it is because there is no benefit for them. Examples like a Becky caring for a Chad because he's hot or a Nurse taking care of somebody for their salary
 
bigantennaemay1

bigantennaemay1

Aspie social drifter without purpose or home
★★★★★
Joined
Nov 8, 2017
Posts
15,157
Online
80d 15h 21m
bigantennaemay1

bigantennaemay1

Aspie social drifter without purpose or home
★★★★★
Joined
Nov 8, 2017
Posts
15,157
Online
80d 15h 21m
The only hope that remains for you is the love of Christ. God might not magically remove all of your problems, but He will give you hope, because then you know that there's always something better and more important to look forwards to than the pain of the past and present.
Isaiah 40:31 says: "but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint."

PM me if you want to learn more and are interested.
God bless.
:feelsseriously:
 
blackpillednigga

blackpillednigga

I'm not russian, but this flag offends redditors
★★★★
Joined
Jan 8, 2022
Posts
834
Online
7d 8h 23m
shit this was written so well. if elliot rodgers wrote a story in a similar format to this rather than the one he wrote it would be much more impactful. just goes to show the reality of being born undesirable. and I think the JBW theory only applies to neurotypicals because I personally always see white men get dates in my school, not to dismiss whitecels though
 
Izayacel

Izayacel

LUNATIC ENTITLEMENT "
★★★★★
Joined
May 5, 2018
Posts
15,651
Online
74d 23h 2m
read every word .

you just hitted a critical miss at birth . LIFE IS LUCK , and its not your fault .


How about a change and try to be a little shit / aggresive to others? , Your justified to be hateful given your situation.


The funny thing is that People are still trying to gaslight you , besides you being treated and born like shit.



People are fucking backwards and Evil in the Head .

@bigantennaemay1
 
Cope_Time

Cope_Time

4 stroke internal combustioncel
★★★★★
Joined
Aug 20, 2020
Posts
21,576
Online
97d 8h 37m
Relatable story, I could imagine it, since those things happened to me too, incel part is also very relatable, it was a nice feeling to finally find people like me.
Nothing to say tbh, I live the same shit.
 
bigantennaemay1

bigantennaemay1

Aspie social drifter without purpose or home
★★★★★
Joined
Nov 8, 2017
Posts
15,157
Online
80d 15h 21m
What's the issue?
Religion is garbage cope for incels. It is glue to hold civilization together, but it does not fill the void, and does nothing to help me. I believed when I was younger; I left for good reason, and I will not go back.
 
Last edited:
bigantennaemay1

bigantennaemay1

Aspie social drifter without purpose or home
★★★★★
Joined
Nov 8, 2017
Posts
15,157
Online
80d 15h 21m
it was a nice feeling to finally find people like me.
Yeah, I used to think I was the only one. I was extremely naive, and this was certainly due to how sheltered I was, thanks to my parents. :feelsseriously:

I genuinely believed everyone had a soulmate, and they just paired up with that one person and spent the rest of their lives together. Granted, my own parents, and both pairs of my grandparents, stayed together their whole lives (well, until my dad became a widower), and so that was just the norm for me. And my own brothers weren't struggling, either, and most of my peers growing up, aside from the obvious special needs class, all seemed socially well-adjusted, even from some of the uglier and weirder of my classmates who managed to find dates. So I thought I was singled out, the butt of some giant, cosmic joke.

It was a relief to find out I was alone, but then I felt bad, because I knew how horrible my situation felt, and now I found others who are suffering the same extreme agony and torment. It was only bittersweet, to find other incels. :feelsbadman:
 
bigantennaemay1

bigantennaemay1

Aspie social drifter without purpose or home
★★★★★
Joined
Nov 8, 2017
Posts
15,157
Online
80d 15h 21m
How about a change and try to be a little shit / aggresive to others?
I have small frame, and am not a gymcel. I did try lifting, once, for about six months' time with some advice from a chadlite coworker, but it wasn't having any noticeable impact, and I was already becoming black pilled and jaded by that time, and didn't bother to keep at it. Plus, it was cutting in to my other copes.

I would just get my ass beat. :fuk:

LIFE IS LUCK , and its not your fault .
Your justified to be hateful given your situation.
People are fucking backwards and Evil in the Head .
Oh believe me, I know. I may have spent many of my years naive and blue pilled, but I came around, many years ago.

The funny thing is that People are still trying to gaslight you , besides you being treated and born like shit.
It pisses me off. Like I don't have enough shit to deal with already, but everyone else has to make sure that my spirit truly is broken. :feelsbadman: I wish people would just leave me alone, at this point. I can't take the gaslighting and the bullshit, and the lies anymore. I just want to cope until I finally leave this nightmarish hellhole. :fuk:
 
bigantennaemay1

bigantennaemay1

Aspie social drifter without purpose or home
★★★★★
Joined
Nov 8, 2017
Posts
15,157
Online
80d 15h 21m
I wish I didn't have a defect brain brother
None of us do, but the way normies and foids treat us suggests they believe otherwise. :fuk:
 
based zoomer

based zoomer

Recruit
★★
Joined
Sep 20, 2022
Posts
146
Online
1d 8h 12m
Religion is garbage cope for incels. It is glue to hold civilization together, but it does not fill the void, and does nothing to help me. I believed when I was younger; I left for good reason, and I will not go back.
There's literally nothing more assuring than knowing that you have the love of the Creator of the universe.
I beg you to look more into Christianity. https://www.reasonablefaith.org/wri...nature-of-god/the-kalam-cosmological-argument is an article you should 100% read.
 
based zoomer

based zoomer

Recruit
★★
Joined
Sep 20, 2022
Posts
146
Online
1d 8h 12m
Yes I can, Christcuck. You hold no authority over me.
You can't because you decided to practice iniquity and you will be punished for it. You sound like a roastie saying she can get an abortion after willingly having sex.
Indeed, I have no authority over you. God does.
 
Sennacherib

Sennacherib

TRUEST OF TRUCELS
-
Joined
Jul 12, 2020
Posts
6,917
Online
154d 11h 41m
Not reading novels
 
bigantennaemay1

bigantennaemay1

Aspie social drifter without purpose or home
★★★★★
Joined
Nov 8, 2017
Posts
15,157
Online
80d 15h 21m
You can't because you decided to practice iniquity and you will be punished for it. You sound like a roastie saying she can get an abortion after willingly having sex.
Indeed, I have no authority over you. God does.
I don't care about your stupid false god from your moronic (((desert))) religion. I'm not at all threatened by the empty threat of your "god" punishing me for not giving a shit about a fictional piece of garbage like him. Take your goddamn religion, shove it back up your ass you stupid motherfucking Christ faggot, and get the fuck out of my face with that nonsense. And I'm not arguing with you over your obviously and demonstrably false beliefs.

I'M NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR BULLSHIT, CUCKED RELIGION.
 
Hikikomori_cel

Hikikomori_cel

Proud advocate of räpe, pedophilia and murder
★★★★
Joined
Sep 18, 2021
Posts
4,834
Online
175d 7h 10m
Very eloquently said, read every single word
 
bbwqs_v

bbwqs_v

autist
★★★★★
Joined
Aug 1, 2022
Posts
434
Online
25d 17h 23m
jfl OP talks about how he's been gaslighted his whole life and now he's getting the same gaslighting treatment from some religion coper in the thread, truly a moment of :feelsclown:

i have nothing against people who believe in god/religion/a creator, but i think mods should ban users who try to push their religious ideals onto others. it's the most cancer retarded thing ever. literally giving other people aids
 
bbwqs_v

bbwqs_v

autist
★★★★★
Joined
Aug 1, 2022
Posts
434
Online
25d 17h 23m
There's literally nothing more assuring than knowing that you have the love of the Creator of the universe.
I beg you to look more into Christianity. https://www.reasonablefaith.org/wri...nature-of-god/the-kalam-cosmological-argument is an article you should 100% read.
05 Rules Of Civil Conversation Posters 1


let's have a conversation/discussion with these rules in mind. i would like to learn about your beliefs & opinions. can you please take the time out to explain to me what is this idea of god/creator of the universe to you?

i'm agnostic, open to the idea of a greater higher being, a creator, but i reject the traditional concepts of religion like christianity, islam, etc because their historical origins, beliefs, and values are deeply rooted in logical fallacies & contradictions. could you share some beliefs you have about your idea of god? i think that would be a good starting conversation to build ideas from.
 
bbwqs_v

bbwqs_v

autist
★★★★★
Joined
Aug 1, 2022
Posts
434
Online
25d 17h 23m
because you decided to practice iniquity and you will be punished for it.
i spoke to a christian once, they told me god created us because he wanted a family of his own. he gave us free will to do good & bad, otherwise we would be npc robots. i thought that was very selfish of god, to create sentient life, where there is so much pain, suffering, cruelness, which evidently outweighs all the fulfilment, happiness, joy, meaning in this world.

isn't it pointless if people are religious primarily to avoid god's punishment? christians told me that god knows who is truly faithful & who is practicing religion just to avoid hell & be saved to enter heaven. i thought that was awfully stupid. there exists articulate arguments about this contradiction online that explain is far better than i can, but i'm sure you get the idea. god is effectively holding people hostage to worship him or suffer in hell.

religion was created to wield power & control others. tons of priests are pedophiles & child molestors. tons of major religious organisations are a scam, profitting in large sums of donations, the pastors live luxurious lives while pretending to be humble. it's all in the name of corruption. it's preying on people's vulnerability & need to belong, to feel a greater purpose, a divine meaning. you could say i'm cherry-picking (apex fallacy) extreme examples, we can look into the stats for this one if you want.

another common argument is that religion gave us the guidance of morality, which is a huge load of bullshit if you've ever read blkpillpres' thread on morality; morality doesn't exist

there is also the problem surrounding god's origin, but i suppose that's sort of unrelated

i'd be very appreciative if you would address the points i mentioned above, so i can expand on my understanding and hopefully learn something new
 
Last edited:
NiggerMan

NiggerMan

=__=
★★★★
Joined
Nov 8, 2022
Posts
1,358
Online
17d 14h 30m
There's literally nothing more assuring than knowing that you have the love of the Creator of the universe.
I beg you to look more into Christianity. https://www.reasonablefaith.org/wri...nature-of-god/the-kalam-cosmological-argument is an article you should 100% read.
shut the fuck up retarded dog cunt
your creator made us autistic sub humans
why would i follow your cope cult made for sex havers and normalfags when he didn't give a fuck about me and left me suffering in this degenerate nigger world
 
Massimo The Lonecel

Massimo The Lonecel

Black Velveteen
★★★
Joined
Aug 26, 2020
Posts
1,228
Online
75d 14h 23m
I red only a little bit but what I did get from this long winded speech is that I can perfectly relate to you when you say that you are broken and lonely I feel the same way at times and it's just a terribly Emotionally painful thing to feel at times.
 
bbwqs_v

bbwqs_v

autist
★★★★★
Joined
Aug 1, 2022
Posts
434
Online
25d 17h 23m
But he talked me out of it. Somehow, someway. I allowed myself to continue suffering in misery because some random nobody told me not to.
reminded me of the arousal: cost-reward theory:
a theory attributing people’ s helping behaviour to their efforts to reduce the unpleasant arousal they feel in the face of someone’ s need or suffering.

"This theory proposes that the sight of a person who is suffering causes distress and anxiety and that these feelings motivate the observer to do something to reduce the unpleasant arousal"

the cost of not helping here is high, as the outcome would be a person likely to commit suicide, something i think most people feel strongly about when they have the choice to intervene. plus, the cost of helping is low, which is listening & writing some sympathetic messages

altruism blackpill xd

but i feel empathy-altruism for incels, perhaps the only altruism that really matters & counts
 
Last edited:
bigantennaemay1

bigantennaemay1

Aspie social drifter without purpose or home
★★★★★
Joined
Nov 8, 2017
Posts
15,157
Online
80d 15h 21m
Doctor Eggman

Doctor Eggman

I try my best
★★★
Joined
May 18, 2022
Posts
770
Online
10d 7h 13m
Is that sarcasm? Genuine question, I honestly can't tell, and would like to know.
I think he's legit, if people don't like stuff here they just insult you.
 
bigantennaemay1

bigantennaemay1

Aspie social drifter without purpose or home
★★★★★
Joined
Nov 8, 2017
Posts
15,157
Online
80d 15h 21m
jfl OP talks about how he's been gaslighted his whole life and now he's getting the same gaslighting treatment from some religion coper in the thread, truly a moment of :feelsclown:
Tell me about it. :feelsUgh:

but i think mods should ban users who try to push their religious ideals onto others. it's the most cancer retarded thing ever.
Agreed.

something i think most people feel strongly about when they have the choice to intervene.
This is what sickens me the most: they only pretend to give a shit when someone's on the edge. Once the suffering soul has been pulled back even an inch from the precipice, they go back to not giving a single fucking shit, as always. If anyone really cared, they'd either try to actually help the person suffering via social inclusion, etc., or help them end their misery by giving them a push. None of this wishy-washy bullshit where the suffering person keeps finding themselves at the brink only to be pulled back a tiny ways each time someone bothers to notice. :feelsUgh:
 
bigantennaemay1

bigantennaemay1

Aspie social drifter without purpose or home
★★★★★
Joined
Nov 8, 2017
Posts
15,157
Online
80d 15h 21m
I think he's legit, if people don't like stuff here they just insult you.
Oh. And here I thought I taught myself enough to be able to read social cues like sarcasm. Maybe all my "improvement" was just in my head. :fuk::feelsbadman:
 
bigantennaemay1

bigantennaemay1

Aspie social drifter without purpose or home
★★★★★
Joined
Nov 8, 2017
Posts
15,157
Online
80d 15h 21m
shut the fuck up retarded dog cunt
your creator made us autistic sub humans
why would i follow your cope cult made for sex havers and normalfags when he didn't give a fuck about me and left me suffering in this degenerate nigger world
:yes: Exactly. I prayed to god every night as a teenager, desperate for help that I could not find among the uncaring humans of this world, only to be met with silence from this supposed "all-knowing, all-loving" being who put me into this hellish, autistic life in the first damn place. It's the original reason I left my Christian beliefs behind.
 
bigantennaemay1

bigantennaemay1

Aspie social drifter without purpose or home
★★★★★
Joined
Nov 8, 2017
Posts
15,157
Online
80d 15h 21m
I red only a little bit but what I did get from this long winded speech is that I can perfectly relate to you when you say that you are broken and lonely I feel the same way at times and it's just a terribly Emotionally painful thing to feel at times.
Nobody should have to suffer this kind of pain. I genuinely believe it's one of the worst, if not the worst, possible thing a human being could experience.
 
lifefuel

lifefuel

Admiral
★★
Joined
Nov 12, 2017
Posts
2,645
Online
64d 2h 2m
Read every word. Damn.
 
Nihilistic Lowlife

Nihilistic Lowlife

They want to send me in PH AGAIN :)
★★★★★
Joined
Jan 9, 2022
Posts
2,403
Online
33d 8h 48m
There is no real purpose to life, some people try to give it a meaning, but it won't change much in the end.
 

Similar threads

Tryna Ascend
Replies
19
Views
191
medaminemenyaui
medaminemenyaui
Nightwalker_98
Replies
9
Views
160
Nightwalker_98
Nightwalker_98
felizhombre
Replies
16
Views
557
Kunt
Kunt
P
Replies
41
Views
292
Fat Link
Fat Link
S
Replies
25
Views
1K
unanimouslyethnic
unanimouslyethnic
shape1
shape2
shape3
shape4
shape7
shape8
Top