I rember when I was like 13 or 14. I was already in high school. a perfect summer day, you couldn't ask for better. already a week after end of school year I was going back for end of year ceremony. I was already gaming 24/7 for a week and going out again made me realize that's all I have to look forward to all summer. everybody else was hyped about summer, hanging out, vacations, ascending, doing cool stuff, etc. meanwhile all I had was my vidya. in that perfect weather. but still it was the best I could cope with. in that moment I realized I'll be a rotter for life while others breeze past me and that is exactly what happened. and all the cute holes around me were gonna be used up trash in a few years. it was the perfect moment and I wasted it being subhuman
