A
So I've just been thinking about my past these few days and remember vividly when I had to go to a mental hospital by force this was during my edgy phase. So My day started as a normal day I went to high school and went to class. But right before I could get to class (I was at the door) I was then approached by a female who started harassing me and threatening to "beat" me up because the day before I was "talking shit" to her friend she started pushing me as well. I had the door halfway open so everybody was staring at me and the teacher was looking at me with bug eyes. I thought for a moment whether I should just beat her to a pulp and get on with it but I realized quickly that I would still be seen as the bad guy in that situation and would probably go to jail if I did, so I walked into the class and ignored her.
During class it really hit me what was happening, I was just completely embarrassed and disrespected by some stacey bitch. So of course I started getting fuming and hot. By the end of class I was basically in a psychosis of anger I was literally walking in the halls with the head down and my fists clenched, muttering swear words like a retard. So during the next period I went on a mission to find her and confront her. When I found her I was so angry all I could muster was "watch yourself bitch" and walked off. I was so angry I just went home and chilled for a few hours and calmed down. I did calm down a lot actually. I thought "you know what it's not that big a deal. I should just avoid any problems with people here on and focus on my own life" But as I sat down and was watching tv, the anger returned and I smashed the table infront of me. I was still in awe that such a worthless whore that I could easily destroy could have the audacity to confront me like that and threaten me. So I found where she was chilling at after school (found out from a ""friend"") and put a kitchen knife in my bag. Now at this point I should've turned around but I was absolutely fuming. I wasn't even thinking straight and I had no idea what I was even doing with the kitchen knife.
Eventually I found her and she looked at me in a surprised and fearful manner. Almost like a rabbit that just met a wolf in the wild. I actually just wanted to talk to her and have a meaningful discussion , I didn't even have thoughts of harming her but for some reason my body moved on its own . I then pulled out the knife in an autistic manner and said "Do you want me to kill you right now bitch? I had no idea what I was even saying at this point. But the fear on her face was so extreme this stacey looked as if she was actually about to die. So I walked closer to her and she started stuttering saying "w-wait, hold on" So I backed off. To be honest she looked so scared that I actually pitied her it then hit me what the fuck I just did and I put the knife away. Right as I finished putting the knife away I was put into a headlock from somebody behind me. The grip was weak and I could've easily broke out of it. I then heard a man's voice say something and I realized I was put into a headlock by some white knight. This enraged me and I was about to beat the shit out of him before I realized I would've only been getting myself into more trouble. So I sat there in a headlock until the police arrived and they took me into the cruiser. At this point I had no idea what was going on I was just numb and embarrassed, it felt like a dream and everything was moving so fast.
Before I knew it I arrived at a mental hospital. I had to talk to the police and they informed me she didn't want to press charges (Thankfully) but I would have to stay in this mental hospital for a day, and talk to a therapist. The hospital was quite small so I didn't have a room to myself and had to chill in the lobby area. I sat there for about an hour watching tv until I was approached by a therapist. This therapist told me to come into a small room and talk to her so she could access my mental health. We talked for a bit and I made the huge mistake of actually telling the therapist how I feel. After pouring out all my emotions for a while I looked up and was met with the most scorn and disgust filled face I could imagine. Honestly I don't think to this day anybody has ever looked at me with so much contempt and disgust. I was destroyed emotionally after she looked at me like that so I turned myself off emotionally and only answered with yes or no questions after that. I also realized quickly that I was just incriminating myself and if I said anymore she was going to snitch so I tried to finish it quick. After I was done talking to the therapist I had to go back to the lobby. A nurse approached me and asked if I wanted food and said yes. She came back a few minutes later with some water and some disgusting cardboardey tasting sandwich.
I had a phone with me but no internet access. I also didn't have data so I couldn't do anything on it except listen to my small music collection. So I sat there just listening to music and watching tv. It was still day time so there was regular patients coming in and out and talking to doctors. It made me feel not alone as there was so much people sitting near me. After it started getting late about only one patient remained. He was a young man at least in his mid twenties and was of foreign descent. After a long silence I guess he decided to strike up a conversation with me, he was very friendly and understanding and had very negative opinions about society and the police he also said he came to this country about 4-5 years ago. I was enjoying my conversation with him until I noticed there was something "off" about him. The way he was speaking and his gestures and facial expressions where that of a schizo. He was talking to me endlessly so I decided to look around. I noticed that this wasn't a normal mental hospital. This was an actual fucking loony bin. It was actually full of literal insane people. I saw people walking up and down talking to themselves and people sitting in their rooms making odd and inhuman noises and other odd things. I started getting a little nervous after that.
Eventually the man said his goodbyes and left. It was nighttime now and I hadn't eaten in like 4 hours maybe? My lips were chapped and my tongue was dry. The nurse never asked if I was hungry after the first time so I didn't ask for any food or water. The nurse then came into the little sitting area and told me that unfortunately there are no beds available and that I would have to sleep in the chair I was sitting in even though she promised she would get me a bed. She gave me a paper thin blanket and said "sorry" with a blank expression on her face. I was still freezing despite the blanket and my clothing, I was shaking due to the cold and anxiety. By now I had listened to the same song over 247 times and my phone was about to die. By now I had read the same news captions 46 times and I hadn't eaten or drank water in 10 hours. It was quiet in the room so I managed to get about 5 minutes of sleep. I was then awoken by screaming and boots hitting the floor. I heard screaming and yelling behind me. At this point I was getting a little nervous but I manged to steel myself to turn around. What I saw was about 5-10 officers restraining some women, in the room next to where I was sitting. There was blood everywhere and so much screaming. The person screaming and bleeding was some women off heroin who had "beat on her boyfriend" She was still screaming for hours after that. At this point I just wanted the day to be over and try and get some sleep. But every time I tried to get sleep somebody was being restrained or a schizo was having an argument with themselves. For hours on end all I heard was screaming. I was shivering due to the cold and I hadn't eaten in or drank water in 15 hours.
For the rest of the night I got zero sleep. I just sat there shivering staring at my feet while people were screaming,crying and banging on their doors. I didn't feel anything at all I just wanted to sleep. But every time I did I was awoken by women screaming and people being restrained, it was like clock work. There was blood constantly on the floor from people being brought in, I hadn't moved from my chair in 5 hours, as I sat there curled in a ball I heard one of the nurses say "I feel bad for him". Eventually it turned day and I was told that It was my time to leave. My parents came and got me and I went home, I wanted to sleep so bad but I realized it was school time, my parents didn't ask me how I was or any of that and told me to go to school, everybody was pretending like nothing happened. So I did. I got dressed and went to school as if it were any other day. I hadn't eaten or drank water in 20 hours or slept in 26 not to mention By now rumors about what I did to the girl was spreading, and when I went to school that day I don't think I literally said a word to anyone.
Just a long vent I wrote before I go to bed. If you have any questions just ask me and i'll answer tomorrow.
During class it really hit me what was happening, I was just completely embarrassed and disrespected by some stacey bitch. So of course I started getting fuming and hot. By the end of class I was basically in a psychosis of anger I was literally walking in the halls with the head down and my fists clenched, muttering swear words like a retard. So during the next period I went on a mission to find her and confront her. When I found her I was so angry all I could muster was "watch yourself bitch" and walked off. I was so angry I just went home and chilled for a few hours and calmed down. I did calm down a lot actually. I thought "you know what it's not that big a deal. I should just avoid any problems with people here on and focus on my own life" But as I sat down and was watching tv, the anger returned and I smashed the table infront of me. I was still in awe that such a worthless whore that I could easily destroy could have the audacity to confront me like that and threaten me. So I found where she was chilling at after school (found out from a ""friend"") and put a kitchen knife in my bag. Now at this point I should've turned around but I was absolutely fuming. I wasn't even thinking straight and I had no idea what I was even doing with the kitchen knife.
Eventually I found her and she looked at me in a surprised and fearful manner. Almost like a rabbit that just met a wolf in the wild. I actually just wanted to talk to her and have a meaningful discussion , I didn't even have thoughts of harming her but for some reason my body moved on its own . I then pulled out the knife in an autistic manner and said "Do you want me to kill you right now bitch? I had no idea what I was even saying at this point. But the fear on her face was so extreme this stacey looked as if she was actually about to die. So I walked closer to her and she started stuttering saying "w-wait, hold on" So I backed off. To be honest she looked so scared that I actually pitied her it then hit me what the fuck I just did and I put the knife away. Right as I finished putting the knife away I was put into a headlock from somebody behind me. The grip was weak and I could've easily broke out of it. I then heard a man's voice say something and I realized I was put into a headlock by some white knight. This enraged me and I was about to beat the shit out of him before I realized I would've only been getting myself into more trouble. So I sat there in a headlock until the police arrived and they took me into the cruiser. At this point I had no idea what was going on I was just numb and embarrassed, it felt like a dream and everything was moving so fast.
Before I knew it I arrived at a mental hospital. I had to talk to the police and they informed me she didn't want to press charges (Thankfully) but I would have to stay in this mental hospital for a day, and talk to a therapist. The hospital was quite small so I didn't have a room to myself and had to chill in the lobby area. I sat there for about an hour watching tv until I was approached by a therapist. This therapist told me to come into a small room and talk to her so she could access my mental health. We talked for a bit and I made the huge mistake of actually telling the therapist how I feel. After pouring out all my emotions for a while I looked up and was met with the most scorn and disgust filled face I could imagine. Honestly I don't think to this day anybody has ever looked at me with so much contempt and disgust. I was destroyed emotionally after she looked at me like that so I turned myself off emotionally and only answered with yes or no questions after that. I also realized quickly that I was just incriminating myself and if I said anymore she was going to snitch so I tried to finish it quick. After I was done talking to the therapist I had to go back to the lobby. A nurse approached me and asked if I wanted food and said yes. She came back a few minutes later with some water and some disgusting cardboardey tasting sandwich.
I had a phone with me but no internet access. I also didn't have data so I couldn't do anything on it except listen to my small music collection. So I sat there just listening to music and watching tv. It was still day time so there was regular patients coming in and out and talking to doctors. It made me feel not alone as there was so much people sitting near me. After it started getting late about only one patient remained. He was a young man at least in his mid twenties and was of foreign descent. After a long silence I guess he decided to strike up a conversation with me, he was very friendly and understanding and had very negative opinions about society and the police he also said he came to this country about 4-5 years ago. I was enjoying my conversation with him until I noticed there was something "off" about him. The way he was speaking and his gestures and facial expressions where that of a schizo. He was talking to me endlessly so I decided to look around. I noticed that this wasn't a normal mental hospital. This was an actual fucking loony bin. It was actually full of literal insane people. I saw people walking up and down talking to themselves and people sitting in their rooms making odd and inhuman noises and other odd things. I started getting a little nervous after that.
Eventually the man said his goodbyes and left. It was nighttime now and I hadn't eaten in like 4 hours maybe? My lips were chapped and my tongue was dry. The nurse never asked if I was hungry after the first time so I didn't ask for any food or water. The nurse then came into the little sitting area and told me that unfortunately there are no beds available and that I would have to sleep in the chair I was sitting in even though she promised she would get me a bed. She gave me a paper thin blanket and said "sorry" with a blank expression on her face. I was still freezing despite the blanket and my clothing, I was shaking due to the cold and anxiety. By now I had listened to the same song over 247 times and my phone was about to die. By now I had read the same news captions 46 times and I hadn't eaten or drank water in 10 hours. It was quiet in the room so I managed to get about 5 minutes of sleep. I was then awoken by screaming and boots hitting the floor. I heard screaming and yelling behind me. At this point I was getting a little nervous but I manged to steel myself to turn around. What I saw was about 5-10 officers restraining some women, in the room next to where I was sitting. There was blood everywhere and so much screaming. The person screaming and bleeding was some women off heroin who had "beat on her boyfriend" She was still screaming for hours after that. At this point I just wanted the day to be over and try and get some sleep. But every time I tried to get sleep somebody was being restrained or a schizo was having an argument with themselves. For hours on end all I heard was screaming. I was shivering due to the cold and I hadn't eaten in or drank water in 15 hours.
For the rest of the night I got zero sleep. I just sat there shivering staring at my feet while people were screaming,crying and banging on their doors. I didn't feel anything at all I just wanted to sleep. But every time I did I was awoken by women screaming and people being restrained, it was like clock work. There was blood constantly on the floor from people being brought in, I hadn't moved from my chair in 5 hours, as I sat there curled in a ball I heard one of the nurses say "I feel bad for him". Eventually it turned day and I was told that It was my time to leave. My parents came and got me and I went home, I wanted to sleep so bad but I realized it was school time, my parents didn't ask me how I was or any of that and told me to go to school, everybody was pretending like nothing happened. So I did. I got dressed and went to school as if it were any other day. I hadn't eaten or drank water in 20 hours or slept in 26 not to mention By now rumors about what I did to the girl was spreading, and when I went to school that day I don't think I literally said a word to anyone.
Just a long vent I wrote before I go to bed. If you have any questions just ask me and i'll answer tomorrow.
