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The Crazy Psychology Behind Why Decent Men Are Called 'Simps' By Incels
My love letter to the good guys and the 'others'
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Write A Catalyst
a11y-light~4 min read·June 22, 2025 (Updated: June 22, 2025)·Free: No
You're polite. You listen. You care. You do basic things like showing up, respecting a woman's opinion, texting back without playing games, you believe in feminism, not to 'get laid' but because that's who you are — and you're called a simp. It's almost laughable how basic decency is now twisted into something embarrassing. The term "simp" is used like an insult for men who aren't emotionally unavailable or detached.
This makes you wonder…how did we reach a point where showing respect became something to be ashamed of? Somewhere along the way, we normalized toxic behavior and started shaming men who don't follow the outdated "tough guy" script. And those who reject that script? They're the ones getting mocked the loudest.
The Word "Simp" Says More About Them Than About You
When a man calls someone a "simp," he's not saying anything new. He's just repeating what he's been conditioned to believe: that being kind or emotionally open somehow makes you less of a man. It's not a real insult — it's a reflex. A way of protecting the outdated idea that men should always be detached and in control.But here's the actual thing: most men who mock others this way aren't confident or strong. They're scared. Scared of being vulnerable. Scared of looking soft. Scared that someone else being genuine will make their fake toughness look hollow. So instead of learning and evolving, they slap a label on it and pretend they're above it all.
They're performing masculinity to stay in the "boys' club." And in that club, caring too much about a woman is seen as a weakness. So, they mock the man who dares to show vulnerability — not because they think he's wrong, but because he's breaking an unspoken rule. A rule that says: "Don't feel too much. Don't care too much. And never, ever let it show."
Toxic Masculinity Is Peer Pressure in Disguise
This toxic thinking doesn't come from nowhere. It starts early — on playgrounds, in locker rooms, and in conversations with emotionally stunted male role models. Boys are told by other boys to"stop crying," and "never chase a girl." Over time, that pressure turns into a mindset: emotions are dangerous, and connection is weakness.It's Easier to Laugh at Respect Than Confront Your Own Fear
Treating women with dignity means showing up with your full self…feelings, flaws, honesty, and all. That takes guts. And to be honest, most of these guys don't have that kind of emotional courage. So instead of admitting they're afraid to be vulnerable, they make jokes. They mock. They tear others down to feel better.You're Not a Simp for Being a Good Human. They're Just Scared.
There's nothing wrong with being respectful, honest, or emotionally available. In fact, those traits are exactly what build lasting relationships. The problem isn't you—it's the fragile masculinity of those who think emotional distance equals strength.Spoiler: it doesn't.
