1.1 Enter Legatius, an ugly civilian working as a humble tanner, walking out onto the courtyard of Agatha, a lady of the low upper class.
Agatha: Who shalt be there? In the courtyard of mine humble abode, yet paid for by other men, for I hath not worked a day in mine life?
Legatius: Oh, lady Agatha! I have doth worked on so many projects since the last time I've seen you! You were the twinkle of mine eye. I wanted to wait until now, for I hath taken a bath,and I am holding firm, like my father told me as it worked for he!
Agatha: Legatius! Thou hath looked at me creepily! Thine smile is not a love of affection, but rather one I hate to endure and see? Oh, it is like torture to be looked at like you did!
Legatius: Why would mine look of kindness and affection cause harm to thine body and mind? I ask thee?
Agatha: Well, Legatius, thy...thy did not bruth thine teeth enough! Thou dental quality is dubious!
[Agathas mind]: I must not say thine truth as to why, lest I look terribly! I must make something up! Quickly, Quickly! With haste!
Legatius: Mine...Dental quality? Are thy certain? The man I saw you gawking at, Christian, Did not have thine teeth such as I! His teeth were like the color of the leather I tan!
Agatha: Well, do not insult me legatius! Art thou a celibate of the involuntary kind? You know what people think about those! You shalt never have a chance if thine keep talking these nasty toxic things! Improve thy personality!
A week ensues by, with Legatius trying all he can to improve his personality to get the female of his desire.
1.2 Enter Christian , who only happens to be of the 10% percentile in height and looks and Agatha, coming to Agatha's bedroom
Agatha: Oh Christian! Thine hath earned my love and can now mate with me!
Christian: Shut thy mouth! Stupid hag! Whore! Thy are a wench and I shalt use thee and leave thee! For thy is a useless woman! Only good for bearing children!
Agatha: Oh, what an amazing man you are! Please, use your fists as well!
After a week legatius is back
1.3: Enter legatius once again in Agatha's courtyard.
Legatius: Oh, My lady! I am back once more and I promised I have improved mine personality! I am a better man now! I doth improved my clothing, spent most of my wealth on such an endeavour!
Agatha: legatius, I doth grow tired and sick of these games.
Legatius: Pardon me, mine lady?
Agatha: Thine personality doth matters none, your personality is the synonym of thy mandible, and it is weak, thine wardrobe is just a synonym of the height of your person, and your dental issues are just snonymous with thy shoulder blades and frame of you.
Legatius: My lady, I cannot change any of those...
Agatha: I know, so get out of mine sight! Thou can not change thy looks, and will never be able to! I only go for men who are twice your height and thy mandible tough enough to crack rocks!
1.4: Enter legatius into his home, where he lives with his father, Christof
Christof: Legatius, how was the attempt to get agatha today? Dost though get her? Did thou hold frame and be confident?
Legatius: Yes, Father. Yet I was unable to get her. She told me the truth...
Christof: "the truth"? What shalt that entail?
Legatius: I do not want to talk about it. Where is thine hunting crossbow? I wish to go into the woods and hunt morsel with them.
Christof: On the shelf in the main room.
1.5 Enter legatius, alone, in the woods.
Legatius: This shalt be it, my final days of life. I hope thine divine spirit doth release me from this tormet and gain me acceptance to heaven.
Legatius Loads the Crossbow
Legatius: Goodbye, cruel world. O How it is so bad! Just for my looks I must do this! Just for my looks must I die! Why doth god punish me so!
Crossbow fires
1.6: Enter courier, in Agatha dining room after a long orgy. She is cleaning up
Courier: My lady! Legatius was found dead in the woods, suicide they say!
Agatha: Oh no! How could that be so?
Courier: His letter said that there doth hast been an issue of love.
Agatha: I could have never seen this coming! Tell thine family of Legatius I am sending thoughts and prayers.
Scene
Agatha: Who shalt be there? In the courtyard of mine humble abode, yet paid for by other men, for I hath not worked a day in mine life?
Legatius: Oh, lady Agatha! I have doth worked on so many projects since the last time I've seen you! You were the twinkle of mine eye. I wanted to wait until now, for I hath taken a bath,and I am holding firm, like my father told me as it worked for he!
Agatha: Legatius! Thou hath looked at me creepily! Thine smile is not a love of affection, but rather one I hate to endure and see? Oh, it is like torture to be looked at like you did!
Legatius: Why would mine look of kindness and affection cause harm to thine body and mind? I ask thee?
Agatha: Well, Legatius, thy...thy did not bruth thine teeth enough! Thou dental quality is dubious!
[Agathas mind]: I must not say thine truth as to why, lest I look terribly! I must make something up! Quickly, Quickly! With haste!
Legatius: Mine...Dental quality? Are thy certain? The man I saw you gawking at, Christian, Did not have thine teeth such as I! His teeth were like the color of the leather I tan!
Agatha: Well, do not insult me legatius! Art thou a celibate of the involuntary kind? You know what people think about those! You shalt never have a chance if thine keep talking these nasty toxic things! Improve thy personality!
A week ensues by, with Legatius trying all he can to improve his personality to get the female of his desire.
1.2 Enter Christian , who only happens to be of the 10% percentile in height and looks and Agatha, coming to Agatha's bedroom
Agatha: Oh Christian! Thine hath earned my love and can now mate with me!
Christian: Shut thy mouth! Stupid hag! Whore! Thy are a wench and I shalt use thee and leave thee! For thy is a useless woman! Only good for bearing children!
Agatha: Oh, what an amazing man you are! Please, use your fists as well!
After a week legatius is back
1.3: Enter legatius once again in Agatha's courtyard.
Legatius: Oh, My lady! I am back once more and I promised I have improved mine personality! I am a better man now! I doth improved my clothing, spent most of my wealth on such an endeavour!
Agatha: legatius, I doth grow tired and sick of these games.
Legatius: Pardon me, mine lady?
Agatha: Thine personality doth matters none, your personality is the synonym of thy mandible, and it is weak, thine wardrobe is just a synonym of the height of your person, and your dental issues are just snonymous with thy shoulder blades and frame of you.
Legatius: My lady, I cannot change any of those...
Agatha: I know, so get out of mine sight! Thou can not change thy looks, and will never be able to! I only go for men who are twice your height and thy mandible tough enough to crack rocks!
1.4: Enter legatius into his home, where he lives with his father, Christof
Christof: Legatius, how was the attempt to get agatha today? Dost though get her? Did thou hold frame and be confident?
Legatius: Yes, Father. Yet I was unable to get her. She told me the truth...
Christof: "the truth"? What shalt that entail?
Legatius: I do not want to talk about it. Where is thine hunting crossbow? I wish to go into the woods and hunt morsel with them.
Christof: On the shelf in the main room.
1.5 Enter legatius, alone, in the woods.
Legatius: This shalt be it, my final days of life. I hope thine divine spirit doth release me from this tormet and gain me acceptance to heaven.
Legatius Loads the Crossbow
Legatius: Goodbye, cruel world. O How it is so bad! Just for my looks I must do this! Just for my looks must I die! Why doth god punish me so!
Crossbow fires
1.6: Enter courier, in Agatha dining room after a long orgy. She is cleaning up
Courier: My lady! Legatius was found dead in the woods, suicide they say!
Agatha: Oh no! How could that be so?
Courier: His letter said that there doth hast been an issue of love.
Agatha: I could have never seen this coming! Tell thine family of Legatius I am sending thoughts and prayers.
Scene
