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Serious The brutality of being an incel in your 40s

B33troot

B33troot

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Being a 40+ year old incel is very different from being an incel in your 20s and 30s.

If you're in your late 20s and early 30s, being single as an incel is bearable at least in terms of how your family, friends and peers perceive you. What I mean is that at best, they assume you have that special someone, because in normie world, "looks don't matter". Or if they know you're single, they'll chalk it up to you being busy with college or work, and that you still have time or whatever.

But after 40, being single as an incel is something entirely different. Because at that stage you'll not only have to cope with your own suffering as an incel, but will also have to start dealing with how people look at you, especially if they're family and close acquaintances. Even if they don't say anything to you, and even if they're "nice" to you can be 100% sure that they see you as defective.

People close to you will assume there's something wrong with you, that you're suffering from an irreversible medical condition that prevents you from functioning physically like a normal male. You become an object of pity to them. I've experienced this several times in my life and I can tell you it's the most humiliating and depressing thing that a man can experience. Because even though you're normal biologically speaking you cannot function normally because of the way you look.

Casual acquaintances ,like your workplace colleagues and your neighbors, will also assume you have a medical problem. But they'll also imagine the worst about you, that you're single because you're impotent. Or gay. Or worse...

Women that you interact with in any setting will instinctively sense that there's something off with you and will want nothing to do with you.

I've experienced all of the above.

Simply put, age 40 is the "event horizon" for incels. Once that point is reached, there's no turning back. It truly is over. You're finished as a man. There's no light at the end of the tunnel. In fact, it keeps getting darker and darker as you go. Because after 40, you still have another 40 years of isolation and loneliness to endure, along with the various tribulations of old age.
 
I'll say this(as an incel over 40)- if you don't have *other* things going on in your life that are positive and you are an incel
over 40, that *is* hard. Fortunately I have a great career that is respected, great lifestyle, no money worries, hobbies, etc and most importantly
close family(especially a sister with her family and supportive parents). If I didn't have those things life as a 44 year old incel would really really suck. With those things and it's more like there is this big hole and sense of dissapointment around an otherwise good life.
 
1698120516214
 
I'll say this(as an incel over 40)- if you don't have *other* things going on in your life that are positive and you are an incel
over 40, that *is* hard. Fortunately I have a great career that is respected, great lifestyle, no money worries, hobbies, etc and most importantly
close family(especially a sister with her family and supportive parents). If I didn't have those things life as a 44 year old incel would really really suck. With those things and it's more like there is this big whole and sense of dissapointment around an otherwise good life.

True. I also have "other" positive things like a career, hobbies and such. Those are the only things that motivate me to press on.

But the feeling of being chronically single never actually goes away.
 
True. I also have "other" positive things like a career, hobbies and such. Those are the only things that motivate me to press on.

But the feeling of being chronically single never actually goes away.

Sure.....and I'm not going to lie and say it doesn't suck because it sucks for me too.

You know what I like to do when I think about colleagues my age who have their wife and small kids/babies/whatever? Or even my sister
in that situation? I think about how I don't have to deal with a 4 month old who starts crying in the middle of the night lol. I don't have some woman(who might piss me off half the time anyways lol) tap me on their shoulder at 3am in my incredible comfortable bed and say "your turn" when the baby starts crying. Fuck no.....it's 'my turn' to sleep 4+ more hours on my 2 thousand dollar mattress and enjoy every second of it.
And when a fall saturday comes and I'm looking at 10 straight hours of football games I want to watch, I.......watch 10 straight hours of college football just like I want to. I don't have a nagging wife who would almost certainly get pissed if I just ignored her all day in my man cave. Hell watching the eagles-dolphins sunday night football game last night I texted a huge football fan I know after tyreek's touchdown to see what he thought of it and he missed it because his wife made him run an errand lmao........that would piss me the hell off if I had to do that.

And it goes on and on and on......let's not kid ourselves and act like(for incels who live comfortably and can travel and have plenty of
disposable income and good careers) there aren't advantages to being an incel. We can do what we want.....when we want. The reality is if i were 2-3 points more attractive I probably could have found it easier to get married and fall into that life that most professional normal guys my age have. But it comes with negatives too. Do the positives outweigh the negatives? Probably......maybe? Depends?

So basically what I'm saying is use stuff like the above as a good coping mechanism.
 
Sure.....and I'm not going to lie and say it doesn't suck because it sucks for me too.

You know what I like to do when I think about colleagues my age who have their wife and small kids/babies/whatever? Or even my sister
in that situation? I think about how I don't have to deal with a 4 month old who starts crying in the middle of the night lol. I don't have some woman(who might piss me off half the time anyways lol) tap me on their shoulder at 3am in my incredible comfortable bed and say "your turn" when the baby starts crying. Fuck no.....it's 'my turn' to sleep 4+ more hours on my 2 thousand dollar mattress and enjoy every second of it.
And when a fall saturday comes and I'm looking at 10 straight hours of football games I want to watch, I.......watch 10 straight hours of college football just like I want to. I don't have a nagging wife who would almost certainly get pissed if I just ignored her all day in my man cave. Hell watching the eagles-dolphins sunday night football game last night I texted a huge football fan I know after tyreek's touchdown to see what he thought of it and he missed it because his wife made him run an errand lmao........that would piss me the hell off if I had to do that.

And it goes on and on and on......let's not kid ourselves and act like(for incels who live comfortably and can travel and have plenty of
disposable income and good careers) there aren't advantages to being an incel. We can do what we want.....when we want. The reality is if i were 2-3 points more attractive I probably could have found it easier to get married and fall into that life that most professional normal guys my age have. But it comes with negatives too. Do the positives outweigh the negatives? Probably......maybe? Depends?

So basically what I'm saying is use stuff like the above as a good coping mechanism.

I appreciate your post. I mean it.

Yes,older incels with a stable career do have the freedom and independence that others don't. But unfortunately, it's just loneliness and emptiness in a more colorful form.

We can just afford better copes and distractions, that's about it.
 
Its nonsense to think that when you're in your 20s or 30s people don't already think you've failed as a man when you've never had a girlfriend, casual sex or even kissed. But it is true that the older you get the weirder it gets, i've had jobless junkies who steal from their own family but do occasionally find some other junkie woman to fuck or date look down on me and try to give me life advice and tbh: they're right, they are more successful than me.
 
Its nonsense to think that when you're in your 20s or 30s people don't already think you've failed as a man when you've never had a girlfriend, casual sex or even kissed.

Normies being bluepilled believe every guy has a gf or at least the potential to get a gf.

I'm not saying they're right, but it's their perception of reality.

So in your 20s and 30s the average blue pilled normie who sees you at college or the workplace assumes you're like them and have a love life.
 
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Normies being bluepilled believe every guy has a gf or at least the potential to get a gf.

I'm not saying they're right, but it's their perception of reality.

So in your 20s and 30s the average blue pilled normie who sees you at college or the workplace assumes you're like them and have a love life.

I don't agree that normies believe "looks don't matter". I believe that these normies when they see guys like us(assuming we are not autistic and just normal personality) do believe we have the potential to get a gf, but they understand that it would be a pretty low end gf.

And in a lot of cases, that's true. If most of us who aren't physical deformed in a horrendous way or autistic AF are being honest with ourselves, we *could* get a girlfriend. It's just the type of gf that we would prefer being single over.......
 
I'll say this(as an incel over 40)- if you don't have *other* things going on in your life that are positive and you are an incel
over 40, that *is* hard. Fortunately I have a great career that is respected, great lifestyle, no money worries, hobbies, etc and most importantly
close family(especially a sister with her family and supportive parents). If I didn't have those things life as a 44 year old incel would really really suck. With those things and it's more like there is this big hole and sense of dissapointment around an otherwise good life.
Your sister would've fucked you if she really loved you.
 
I'm over 40 and never experienced anything like you. People looking at you? No, nobody cares about you or your sexuality.
Maybe you are living in China or some arabic shithole where marriage is important?
 
I appreciate your post. I mean it.

Yes,older incels with a stable career do have the freedom and independence that others don't. But unfortunately, it's just loneliness and emptiness in a more colorful form.

We can just afford better copes and distractions, that's about it.
this. im 33 and all i can do is cope slightly better
 
I'll go er and rope before Im a 40 year old incel
 
Fuck no.....it's 'my turn' to sleep 4+ more hours on my 2 thousand dollar mattress and enjoy every second of it.
And when a fall saturday comes and I'm looking at 10 straight hours of football games I want to watch
Just like teenage liberals, you desire total selfishness and a total lack of responsibility.
 
If you're in your late 20s and early 30s, being single as an incel is bearable at least in terms of how your family, friends and peers perceive you.
My mum thought that I was weird and possibly gay for not having a date for the prom at 16. Your family will 100% secretly think you're weird for being an incel past 20. Mothers especially will think you're weird because dating and sex is fucking easy for them, they can't comprehend what it's like for a man in 2023.
 
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Just like teenage liberals, you desire total selfishness and a total lack of responsibility.
Nothing wrong with being selfish as sub5. In fact i would love to see every truecel quitting their job and let the system collapse
 
Nothing wrong with being selfish as sub5. In fact i would love to see every truecel quitting their job and let the system collapse
I agree but in this scenario he isn't a truecel, he has a wife and kids.
 
Being an incel is horrendous at every age and only gets progressively worse the older you get.
 
Being 41... this hits hard, but it's the truth. there is no turning back, it's completely over. just to remain shut in until our bio functions cease. You think your tired and bitter in your 20s? you know nothing yet! CynicalCEL.
 
If I'm a virgin loser by the time that i'm 40 I'll get on a plane to some tropical country and live as a homeless person in full monk mode, working as a fisherman or something. This life is just not worth it.
 
I’m dreading reaching the age of 40 and I find myself worrying about it. I hope I can cope super hard by the time I reach that age.
Buy a truck and a motorcycle, get fishing license, hang out at bars, go hiking, become a stoic mgtow cowboy. cope cope cope!
 
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If I'm a virgin loser by the time that i'm 40 I'll get on a plane to some tropical country and live as a homeless person in full monk mode, working as a fisherman or something.

I too fantasize about living like a monk. But actual monks have trained for several decades to be able to live the monk lifestyle. That's how they exercise full control over their desires. Psychologically, they're very different.

I think it will be extremely difficult to switch to monk mode, especially if you've been living in a city all your life.
 
I too fantasize about living like a monk. But actual monks have trained for several decades to be able to live the monk lifestyle. That's how they exercise full control over their desires.

I think it will be extremely difficult to switch to monk mode, especially if you've been living in a city all your life.
You can actually apply for monkhood in a budhist monastery in Thailand but that seems immature to me. I'd rather travel, pursue an alternative lifestyle and experience life far away from all these crazy western social norms.
 
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Being an incel at 40 should qualify you for social security
 
I am thinking about how to approach the way I present myself to others when I am 40+. I am thinking of a few strategies:

1. Saying I have a medical condition (maybe a form of Dwarfism) that is genetic. This is partially true and it will justify to normies (which is needed for career reasons in workplace) why I didn't reproduce.
2. Making up a backstory of how I have a wife back in India + kids but I got divorced. I feel being 40+ and single isn't a big social deal IF you have a backstory about how you already spread your seed.
 
Being a 40+ year old incel is very different from being an incel in your 20s and 30s.

If you're in your late 20s and early 30s, being single as an incel is bearable at least in terms of how your family, friends and peers perceive you. What I mean is that at best, they assume you have that special someone, because in normie world, "looks don't matter". Or if they know you're single, they'll chalk it up to you being busy with college or work, and that you still have time or whatever.

But after 40, being single as an incel is something entirely different. Because at that stage you'll not only have to cope with your own suffering as an incel, but will also have to start dealing with how people look at you, especially if they're family and close acquaintances. Even if they don't say anything to you, and even if they're "nice" to you can be 100% sure that they see you as defective.

People close to you will assume there's something wrong with you, that you're suffering from an irreversible medical condition that prevents you from functioning physically like a normal male. You become an object of pity to them. I've experienced this several times in my life and I can tell you it's the most humiliating and depressing thing that a man can experience. Because even though you're normal biologically speaking you cannot function normally because of the way you look.

Casual acquaintances ,like your workplace colleagues and your neighbors, will also assume you have a medical problem. But they'll also imagine the worst about you, that you're single because you're impotent. Or gay. Or worse...

Women that you interact with in any setting will instinctively sense that there's something off with you and will want nothing to do with you.

I've experienced all of the above.

Simply put, age 40 is the "event horizon" for incels. Once that point is reached, there's no turning back. It truly is over. You're finished as a man. There's no light at the end of the tunnel. In fact, it keeps getting darker and darker as you go. Because after 40, you still have another 40 years of isolation and loneliness to endure, along with the various tribulations of old age.
it feels like I just want to buy things on Amazon when they go on sale. You are truly broken spiritually and want to break other people because you've been hurt so bad
 
If you're in your late 20s and early 30s, being single as an incel is bearable at least in terms of how your family, friends and peers perceive you. What I mean is that at best, they assume you have that special someone, because in normie world, "looks don't matter". Or if they know you're single, they'll chalk it up to you being busy with college or work, and that you still have time or whatever.

I found late 20s/ early 30s to be the worst time. Back then I was running on the fear of missing out, I was the age that I was supposed to be getting married and having kids, that meant it was an urgent crisis that it wasn't happening, and I had to try to fix this before it gets too late. That FOMO was the root of all the very worst unhappiness. By 40 I'd really accepted that it's over and made peace with it.

But after 40, being single as an incel is something entirely different. Because at that stage you'll not only have to cope with your own suffering as an incel, but will also have to start dealing with how people look at you, especially if they're family and close acquaintances. Even if they don't say anything to you, and even if they're "nice" to you can be 100% sure that they see you as defective.

Meh, I had tics and a stammer as a kid. NPCs thinking there's probably something wrong with me is nothing new. Fuck em.

Women that you interact with in any setting will instinctively sense that there's something off with you and will want nothing to do with you.

Sounds just like being a 30yo incel!
Or a 20yo incel.
Or a 17yo incel.
That's not something new and unique to old fellas!


I'll say this(as an incel over 40)- if you don't have *other* things going on in your life that are positive and you are an incel
over 40, that *is* hard. Fortunately I have a great career that is respected, great lifestyle, no money worries, hobbies, etc and most importantly
close family(especially a sister with her family and supportive parents). If I didn't have those things life as a 44 year old incel would really really suck. With those things and it's more like there is this big hole and sense of dissapointment around an otherwise good life.

:foidSoy::foidSoy:Holy fuck we're like twinsies OMG OMG!

True. I also have "other" positive things like a career, hobbies and such. Those are the only things that motivate me to press on.

But the feeling of being chronically single never actually goes away.

This. But as you get older, you get better at learning what triggers the worst feelings, and how to avoid those triggers.


Your sister would've fucked you if she really loved you.

:feelsokman: There always has to be one. Quality.


this. im 33 and all i can do is cope slightly better

You seem a lot better adjusted than I was at that age. :feelsYall:
 
Sure.....and I'm not going to lie and say it doesn't suck because it sucks for me too.

You know what I like to do when I think about colleagues my age who have their wife and small kids/babies/whatever? Or even my sister
in that situation? I think about how I don't have to deal with a 4 month old who starts crying in the middle of the night lol. I don't have some woman(who might piss me off half the time anyways lol) tap me on their shoulder at 3am in my incredible comfortable bed and say "your turn" when the baby starts crying. Fuck no.....it's 'my turn' to sleep 4+ more hours on my 2 thousand dollar mattress and enjoy every second of it.
And when a fall saturday comes and I'm looking at 10 straight hours of football games I want to watch, I.......watch 10 straight hours of college football just like I want to. I don't have a nagging wife who would almost certainly get pissed if I just ignored her all day in my man cave. Hell watching the eagles-dolphins sunday night football game last night I texted a huge football fan I know after tyreek's touchdown to see what he thought of it and he missed it because his wife made him run an errand lmao........that would piss me the hell off if I had to do that.

And it goes on and on and on......let's not kid ourselves and act like(for incels who live comfortably and can travel and have plenty of
disposable income and good careers) there aren't advantages to being an incel. We can do what we want.....when we want. The reality is if i were 2-3 points more attractive I probably could have found it easier to get married and fall into that life that most professional normal guys my age have. But it comes with negatives too. Do the positives outweigh the negatives? Probably......maybe? Depends?

So basically what I'm saying is use stuff like the above as a good coping mechanism.
This is good advice
 
I'll say this(as an incel over 40)- if you don't have *other* things going on in your life that are positive and you are an incel
over 40, that *is* hard. Fortunately I have a great career that is respected, great lifestyle, no money worries, hobbies, etc and most importantly
close family(especially a sister with her family and supportive parents). If I didn't have those things life as a 44 year old incel would really really suck. With those things and it's more like there is this big hole and sense of dissapointment around an otherwise good life.
Fucking brutal, women would rather fuck with a broke Chad than a well off Incel.
 
I wont be alive at 40
 
hugs for you brocel
 

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