failed childhood and time spent miserably when young
im not going to bother to write this out in a structured or even coherent manner im just pissed and wanted to post about it
living through your teenage years knowing everything youre actively missing out on and knowing theres literally absolutely nothing you could possibly do about it is the worst. with each day you grow more despondent and your only means of coping are meaningless online hyperfixations and subsiding your high youthful sex drive by constantly jerking off to porn
all i do everyday is rot in my room and daydream about a romantic life ill never experience or have conversations with fictional people in my head. going into uni this year knowing im going to be surrounded by blissfully ignorant normies literal mindless bovine who cant possibly imagine what its like to live without a social life and filthy whores that will spend the entirety of their shortlived youth jumping from cock to cock is genuinely unbearable. the only two emotions i feel atp is hatred for others and yearning for what i cant have. throughout highschool the only times my existence was even acknowledged was when id get laughed at by groups of normfags and foids for literally doing nothing; id be sitting at my desk (seating in a lot of my classes were grouped together so 3-4 desks would all be close to one another in different areas of the classroom) and the people next to me would whisper and snicker to themselves pretending to "sneak glances" at me despite making it very obvious that im the object of their attention and laugh. this would be an everyday thing and not once did they have an actual reason to laugh other than me keeping to myself/how i looked but of course then again to normies and foids thats reason enough. graduating highschool with zero friends, zero interactions let alone some romantic experience on top of my visual repulsivity puts me light years behind others coming into university and literally everyone else in life in general. knowing im just going to waste away for another 4 years (the final 4 years of my youth aswell) in a social cesspool ill never fit in to is nothing if not cause to rope. everyday i fantasize about sex, losing my virginity, getting a girlfriend, some sort of phantasmic adventure id get to partake in but all i have ahead of me is a vapid life without a shred of meaning or worth. the best id be able to achieve in life is becoming the average cucked fag dating a walled used up toilet who finally feels the need to settle down after get fucked by dick after dick, the average roastie whos had enough of being a cum dump for the men she actually desires / is attracted to and is now chasing "companionship" and "security" all while working a job i hate that more than likely pays pennies
im not going to bother to write this out in a structured or even coherent manner im just pissed and wanted to post about it
living through your teenage years knowing everything youre actively missing out on and knowing theres literally absolutely nothing you could possibly do about it is the worst. with each day you grow more despondent and your only means of coping are meaningless online hyperfixations and subsiding your high youthful sex drive by constantly jerking off to porn
all i do everyday is rot in my room and daydream about a romantic life ill never experience or have conversations with fictional people in my head. going into uni this year knowing im going to be surrounded by blissfully ignorant normies literal mindless bovine who cant possibly imagine what its like to live without a social life and filthy whores that will spend the entirety of their shortlived youth jumping from cock to cock is genuinely unbearable. the only two emotions i feel atp is hatred for others and yearning for what i cant have. throughout highschool the only times my existence was even acknowledged was when id get laughed at by groups of normfags and foids for literally doing nothing; id be sitting at my desk (seating in a lot of my classes were grouped together so 3-4 desks would all be close to one another in different areas of the classroom) and the people next to me would whisper and snicker to themselves pretending to "sneak glances" at me despite making it very obvious that im the object of their attention and laugh. this would be an everyday thing and not once did they have an actual reason to laugh other than me keeping to myself/how i looked but of course then again to normies and foids thats reason enough. graduating highschool with zero friends, zero interactions let alone some romantic experience on top of my visual repulsivity puts me light years behind others coming into university and literally everyone else in life in general. knowing im just going to waste away for another 4 years (the final 4 years of my youth aswell) in a social cesspool ill never fit in to is nothing if not cause to rope. everyday i fantasize about sex, losing my virginity, getting a girlfriend, some sort of phantasmic adventure id get to partake in but all i have ahead of me is a vapid life without a shred of meaning or worth. the best id be able to achieve in life is becoming the average cucked fag dating a walled used up toilet who finally feels the need to settle down after get fucked by dick after dick, the average roastie whos had enough of being a cum dump for the men she actually desires / is attracted to and is now chasing "companionship" and "security" all while working a job i hate that more than likely pays pennies
