APRIL 18, 2007
Oh my God. If society could just expand it's historical horizon past winter, we'd realize that women have been sexualized for centuries.
It's only in modern times that women are allowed to be in control of it.
No. I'm not worried about girls, What we should be worried about are the boys.
What happens to a boy who is told by the media that women are sexualized, they are objects, they are sluts?
And then he goes out into the world and discovers they aren't?
That they won't sleep with him?
That, try as he might, they won't do all the things he was promised in ads, movies, porn?
But they might be willing to do it with someone else, even women?
Depression? Or maybe misogyny? And maybe he starts hating women so much he, oh, I don't know, shoots 30 people at a college?
Women have been tweezing and preening and primping since day uno. Near as I can tell, porn hasn't drastically altered this.
Interestingly, it has made young men more self-conscious, not just about penis size, but also body hair, fat, fingernails, etc. The cultural problem is neurotic, immasculated men whose only outlet is masturbation and violence.
Are we going to be honest or political? I don't know any women who if given a choice would prefer "not sexy" over "sexy."
If I have a daughter, I would want her to be in control of her sexuality, not under the control of it (in other words, the opposite of me.) I want her to be smart and sexy. I just want her to be her.
No. No, the problem isn't my daughter becomes a slut; it's that she gets beaten by some whacko who wants her to be.
Or doesn't want her to be. Or does, but only when...
The real problem for the women of our society isn't a lack of self-esteem. It's a lack of weapons.
And no, I'm not kidding.
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To expand upon your all-or-... (Below threshold)
Posted by John J. Coupal | April 18, 2007 11:37 PM | Score: -12
April 18, 2007 11:37 PM | Posted by John J. Coupal: | Reply
To expand upon your all-or-nothing scenario, what if that boy learns that [some] girls are merely objects, will go to bed with him, and are -indeed- sluts?
The reasons for a chosen "slutdom" personae can be simple or complex. Some girls are just what the media portrays them to be. The media have become successful because they understand, and capitalize on, human behavior almost as well as do psychiatrists.
Your posting appears to imply that the media stereotype of women is a complete falsehood. It isn't.
Score: -12 (34 votes cast)
April 19, 2007 1:26 PM | Posted by Admin: | Reply
J. Coupal: No, I agree the media often portrays women as sex objects, especially ads. I am focusing on who "hears" that message more clearly. I think women hear it, but don't automatically feel defined by it, while boys are more susceptible to believing it.
And some boys will find some girls who do fit the stereotype, but I'm not talking about them here (though see article on borderline https://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2007/01/borderline.html)
I'm asking what happens when he thinks he's been tricked into a bait and switch: she looks like a slut, she acts like a slut (with other people (he thinks)) but she's not.
Quoting from Fear of a Black Planet (?): What's the difference between a slut and a ho? A Ho sleeps with everyone. A slut sleeps with everyone but you.
Score: 16 (18 votes cast)
April 24, 2007 9:24 AM | Posted by John J. Coupal: | Reply
Admin:
The title - from IMDb - that you quote from appears to be "Tour of a Black Planet".
(Admin's response: Actually, we're both wrong: it comes from the closing credits of "Fear of a Black Hat," which is a Spinal Tap for rap.)
Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
April 25, 2007 10:26 AM | Posted by Lily: | Reply
Alone, I think you are brilliant and all that, but I think you're wrong. I think porn has changed women. I think that women expect that men want what they see portrayed in porn. I am speaking of giant boobs, amazing oral skillZ (including that *magical* swallowing men seem to go on and on about), delight at the prospect of anal sex and the expectation that a woman's body will be perfect and free of unwanted hair--Brazilian, anyone?
I'd be willing to bet that if I'd look at 30 year old porn, the women would have very hairy pubes. Today, friends of mine and my sister have most of it taken off by either getting Brazilian waxes or having hair lazered off. I think the pressure on women to be hair free "down there" can be traced to "spreads" of women in Playboy and Hustler. I don't think women would come up with the idea of waxing the hair of their most delicate parts if they didn't see it as an expectation. They had to *see* it somewhere. The women of Playboy are idolized by men, women want that adulation, hence women want to look like the women in Playboy. Not all women, of course, am I speaking of.
As women we may be in control of our sexuality, but we are most definitely NOT in control of its portrayal. The sexualized woman is a commodity used by, mostly men, to sell products and to sell an impossible image. When was the last time you saw a naked or semi-naked man used to sell something?
Alone, how come you say that you're not in control of your sexuality? If this were true, wouldn't you be in jail?
I find the topic of male sexuality fascinating since I was married for 18 years to a man who was not interested in sex. After 10 years of celibacy, I finally left him. Many friends said they thought he was gay, but, seriously, I think it was a hormonal problem since his endochrinologist (ex was also diabetic) said it was possible he had Androgen Resistance Syndrome. Well, that is neither here nor there, but I am a borderline patient and I am NOT a slut (10 years of celibacy), however, I have never felt sexy, but I wish I could.
Score: 17 (21 votes cast)
April 25, 2007 10:50 AM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/bos/96327845.html
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
April 27, 2007 5:01 PM | Posted by Admin: | Reply
To Lily:
Great comments. I was going to respond here, but it got long:
https://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2007/04/a_quick_word_on_porns_effect_o.html
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
May 4, 2007 11:38 PM | Posted by CL Psy: | Reply
Warning: This comment adds nothing to the discussion. You quoted Fear of a Black Hat and for that, you get a pile of cool points.
Score: 10 (12 votes cast)
The APA Says The Media Is Making Women Really Hot
So the APA has come out against the sexualization of women in the media. Praise Jesus. And not a moment too soon.Oh my God. If society could just expand it's historical horizon past winter, we'd realize that women have been sexualized for centuries.
It's only in modern times that women are allowed to be in control of it.
No. I'm not worried about girls, What we should be worried about are the boys.
What happens to a boy who is told by the media that women are sexualized, they are objects, they are sluts?
And then he goes out into the world and discovers they aren't?
That they won't sleep with him?
That, try as he might, they won't do all the things he was promised in ads, movies, porn?
But they might be willing to do it with someone else, even women?
Depression? Or maybe misogyny? And maybe he starts hating women so much he, oh, I don't know, shoots 30 people at a college?
Women have been tweezing and preening and primping since day uno. Near as I can tell, porn hasn't drastically altered this.
Interestingly, it has made young men more self-conscious, not just about penis size, but also body hair, fat, fingernails, etc. The cultural problem is neurotic, immasculated men whose only outlet is masturbation and violence.
Are we going to be honest or political? I don't know any women who if given a choice would prefer "not sexy" over "sexy."
If I have a daughter, I would want her to be in control of her sexuality, not under the control of it (in other words, the opposite of me.) I want her to be smart and sexy. I just want her to be her.
No. No, the problem isn't my daughter becomes a slut; it's that she gets beaten by some whacko who wants her to be.
Or doesn't want her to be. Or does, but only when...
The real problem for the women of our society isn't a lack of self-esteem. It's a lack of weapons.
And no, I'm not kidding.
Digg | del.icio.us | StumbleUpon | Reddit | Yahoo! | My favourites
Comments
To expand upon your all-or-... (Below threshold)Posted by John J. Coupal | April 18, 2007 11:37 PM | Score: -12
April 18, 2007 11:37 PM | Posted by John J. Coupal: | Reply
To expand upon your all-or-nothing scenario, what if that boy learns that [some] girls are merely objects, will go to bed with him, and are -indeed- sluts?
The reasons for a chosen "slutdom" personae can be simple or complex. Some girls are just what the media portrays them to be. The media have become successful because they understand, and capitalize on, human behavior almost as well as do psychiatrists.
Your posting appears to imply that the media stereotype of women is a complete falsehood. It isn't.
Score: -12 (34 votes cast)April 19, 2007 1:26 PM | Posted by Admin: | Reply
J. Coupal: No, I agree the media often portrays women as sex objects, especially ads. I am focusing on who "hears" that message more clearly. I think women hear it, but don't automatically feel defined by it, while boys are more susceptible to believing it.
And some boys will find some girls who do fit the stereotype, but I'm not talking about them here (though see article on borderline https://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2007/01/borderline.html)
I'm asking what happens when he thinks he's been tricked into a bait and switch: she looks like a slut, she acts like a slut (with other people (he thinks)) but she's not.
Quoting from Fear of a Black Planet (?): What's the difference between a slut and a ho? A Ho sleeps with everyone. A slut sleeps with everyone but you.
Score: 16 (18 votes cast)April 24, 2007 9:24 AM | Posted by John J. Coupal: | Reply
Admin:
The title - from IMDb - that you quote from appears to be "Tour of a Black Planet".
(Admin's response: Actually, we're both wrong: it comes from the closing credits of "Fear of a Black Hat," which is a Spinal Tap for rap.)
Score: 1 (3 votes cast)April 25, 2007 10:26 AM | Posted by Lily: | Reply
Alone, I think you are brilliant and all that, but I think you're wrong. I think porn has changed women. I think that women expect that men want what they see portrayed in porn. I am speaking of giant boobs, amazing oral skillZ (including that *magical* swallowing men seem to go on and on about), delight at the prospect of anal sex and the expectation that a woman's body will be perfect and free of unwanted hair--Brazilian, anyone?
I'd be willing to bet that if I'd look at 30 year old porn, the women would have very hairy pubes. Today, friends of mine and my sister have most of it taken off by either getting Brazilian waxes or having hair lazered off. I think the pressure on women to be hair free "down there" can be traced to "spreads" of women in Playboy and Hustler. I don't think women would come up with the idea of waxing the hair of their most delicate parts if they didn't see it as an expectation. They had to *see* it somewhere. The women of Playboy are idolized by men, women want that adulation, hence women want to look like the women in Playboy. Not all women, of course, am I speaking of.
As women we may be in control of our sexuality, but we are most definitely NOT in control of its portrayal. The sexualized woman is a commodity used by, mostly men, to sell products and to sell an impossible image. When was the last time you saw a naked or semi-naked man used to sell something?
Alone, how come you say that you're not in control of your sexuality? If this were true, wouldn't you be in jail?
I find the topic of male sexuality fascinating since I was married for 18 years to a man who was not interested in sex. After 10 years of celibacy, I finally left him. Many friends said they thought he was gay, but, seriously, I think it was a hormonal problem since his endochrinologist (ex was also diabetic) said it was possible he had Androgen Resistance Syndrome. Well, that is neither here nor there, but I am a borderline patient and I am NOT a slut (10 years of celibacy), however, I have never felt sexy, but I wish I could.
Score: 17 (21 votes cast)April 25, 2007 10:50 AM | Posted by Anonymous: | Reply
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/bos/96327845.html
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)April 27, 2007 5:01 PM | Posted by Admin: | Reply
To Lily:
Great comments. I was going to respond here, but it got long:
https://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2007/04/a_quick_word_on_porns_effect_o.html
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)May 4, 2007 11:38 PM | Posted by CL Psy: | Reply
Warning: This comment adds nothing to the discussion. You quoted Fear of a Black Hat and for that, you get a pile of cool points.
Score: 10 (12 votes cast)
