hatepilledandrich
Dying slowly
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- Joined
- Jul 31, 2025
- Posts
- 2,553
- Online time
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View: https://www.reddit.com/r/MuslimNikah/comments/1mvlz00/my_wife_doesnt_seem_to_lower_her_gaze_and_its/
Alhamdulillah I have been blessed with a good career and stability in life. My friends and peers describe me as gentle, kind and generous. Initially I never thought I would marry because deep down I felt unlovable, but my family and friends always told me there was nothing wrong with me and that any woman would be happy with me. Eventually I did marry and I never expected my wife to work, pay or even do chores. I was more than ready to get maids and carry the burden, all I wanted was loyalty and some love.
The problem is that I notice she doesn’t seem to lower her gaze. It’s something that really cuts me deeply. I struggle with self esteem and worth already and when I see that, it makes me feel inadequate, like I will never be enough. I am in shape, Alhamdulillah not ugly, maybe not the best looking but I value deen, good character and loyalty more than anything. I always thought that is what matters in marriage, but sometimes it feels like people today don’t value those things. I don’t understand why marry someone if your eyes wander. If I did the same she would probably be upset too. I refuse to drop to that level though. It feels unfair because I really tried to align on religion and values, and I am fairly conservative. Yet I keep noticing this and it hurts more than I can put into words. I have the means to walk away. Alhamdulillah I make good money, I am in the top percentiles of savings in a western country at only 25. I never chased girlfriends or non Muslims even though I could have, because I wanted to do things the right way. But now it feels like even that is not enough.
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