As we stood there watching the bonobos lounge peacefully that sunny day, Parish also told me about an even more sinister side to male-female bonobo relations. Females often initiate sex with males, and the males are often receptive. But sometimes an unenthusiastic male may try to shake off a female, to little avail. A female may “solicit” such a male again and again, putting her arms around him repeatedly as he attempts to slip away, refusing to be refused. Eventually, they have sex. “The situation of male-female sex sometimes looks coercive to me,” Parish observed as I hung on to her words, stunned to hear what she was telling me: Female bonobos force males to have sex with them against their will. This is not difficult to do, she pointed out, since the males frequently have erections from the anxiety of being dominated and coerced. During the sex, she elaborated, males may give distress vocalizations and attempt to escape.
Unlike chimps, which duke it out under stress, bonobos “consort” when they feel the need to dispel tension.
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