JFL Take The Army Men Pill

[KingOfRome]

Attention, dickcel, racecel, locationcel, and other coping fakecels: none of these things matter. It is all height, face, and frame.

Behold, Sergeant Hawk (aka Sarge) from 3DO's Army Men games:

Observe his mighty mandible, hunter eyes, and high-set zygomatic bones. He only has one flaw, a short philtrum, and it's completely negligible. He would slay on Tinder. Race? He's a plastic army man. Location? Some neckbeard's basement, because he's a plastic army man. Dick size? JAY EFF ELL. He has no dick, because he's a plastic army man.

His Army pay grade is E-5, making him just your standard run-of-the-mill Army sergeant. Neither money nor status give him halo. He's the only character in the series with a love interest, however:

This 8/10 Stacy is Vikki Grimm, daughter of Colonel Grimm. Females who look like this reject Chads on the regular in real life because they have Gigachads like Sarge hitting them up in their Instagram DM's.

That's right. While you sit there blaming your rice/curry ancestry, your needle dick, and clown world location for your inceldom, this Gigachad who is a dickless plastic man in some neckbeard's basement gets hot babes with powerful fathers who went to West Point. You are FUCKED. You are UGLY AS SHIT. Get used to it.

 

[BitterCel]

you ok bro?

 

[ReallyRice]

you ok bro?

 

[Deleted member 15752]

Serge...

 

[Cuyen]

Serge...

serge: no

 

[Sans]

 

[Deleted member 12355]

jfl at being anything other than a plastic army man or a dog in 2019. ROPE YOU FAGS

 

[Darth Cialis]

I'd agree only if you consider hair part of the face.

 

[KingOfRome]

I'd agree only if you consider hair part of the face.

Soldiers have a uniform hairstyle that's very short. He doesn't have or need a hair halo.

 

[Darth Cialis]

Soldiers have a uniform hairstyle that's very short. He doesn't have or need a hair halo.

You seriously need to take the hairpill, hair lenght doesn't really matter.

 

[KingOfRome]

You seriously need to take the hairpill, hair lenght doesn't really matter.

The Norwood Reaper absolutely destroyed me. I OD'd on the hairpill. I also understand that hair is just part of face, and a Gigachad bone structure like Sarge's will the Reaper its bitch.

 

[Darth Cialis]

The Norwood Reaper absolutely destroyed me. I OD'd on the hairpill. I also understand that hair is just part of face, and a Gigachad bone structure like Sarge's will the Reaper its bitch.

It's already been proved wrong by people photoshopping nw3s on Gigachads though, you can easily find the pics.

 

[KingOfRome]

It's already been proved wrong by people photoshopping nw3s on Gigachads though, you can easily find the pics.

I have, they go down a couple points, but they don't become incel-tier.

 

[Darth Cialis]

I have, they go down a couple points, but they don't become incel-tier.

They still look ugly to be honest and they become normies at the very best.

 

[KingOfRome]

They still look ugly to be honest and they become normies at the very best.

Gigachads still have height and frame to make up for it. The majority of the Reaper's victims don't; they are genetically disadvantaged to begin with.

 

[Darth Cialis]

Gigachads still have height and frame to make up for it. The majority of the Reaper's victims don't; they are genetically disadvantaged to begin with.

Height is relatively important but frame much less, in any case hair importancemogs both of these aspects. I am not sure that the reaper is correlated to low height and small frame though, if you have data about it make a thread please as it sounds interesting and suifuelish.

 

[KingOfRome]

Height is relatively important but frame much less, in any case hair importancemogs both of these aspects. I am not sure that the reaper is correlated to low height and small frame though, if you have data about it make a thread please as it sounds interesting and suifuelish.

I think it would be interesting to see a Tinder experiment comparing NW3 Lachowski to a NW1 alien-skulled incel.

 

[quinn24]

Serge:

 

[ihaveno1]

not going to be playing that game ever tbh

 

[KingOfRome]

not going to be playing that game ever tbh

The early (pre-2000's) Army Men Games have Sarge as a normie-tier basic grunt.

I played these games all the time as a kid. They're really good. A lot of the more recent Army Men games suck because 3DO had a "quantity over quality" philosophy in game development, but the originals that built the franchise are timeless.

 

[NotQuiteChadLite]

High IQ post. Army men was a legit series.