I don't want surgeries so I can lose my virginity or be accepted by foids. I need surgeries because I cannot live with myself much longer looking this subhuman. I can't believe a human male can look as ugly as I do when I look in the mirror. I need surgeries just to live without roping. I would honestly cut my dick off for $50K. I'd rather die a dickless virgin than live the rest of my life with my face looking as ugly as mine. I literally get bodily reactions when I look in the mirror, I always get cold and sometimes I start shaking and crying. I have thrown up before from it, not from disgust (although I am disgusted) but from shock. It's always too intense to handle when I look in the mirror, it hurts too bad that it shocks me and part of me can't accept that it's real.