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Story time: Normie friends try to hook me up

Sparrow's Song

Sparrow's Song

Violent Convicted Chomo
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Joined
Dec 14, 2017
Posts
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So I used to hang out with my friend and his gf. I think I was nineteen at the time. This was back when I used to have irl friends (although it was just them lol, and they become ex friends very fast in the next story). It was no secret that I was a virgin, at that point in life the only thing holding me back was having no social circle. Just an average looking mentalcel/basementcel at the time, still am. 

 One day my friend's gf says she knows a girl who is "interested" in me. This would have been impossible because I barely had any femoid contact period, the ones I interacted with were taken, I had no friends and no social media...Not to mention my HS years were at an "alternative" school with actual jail guards and checkpoints with a three hours bus trip to and back and none of the students hung out irl because we all lived far away from each other. So how is someone "interested in me" when it's highly unlikely for people in general to even know who I am?  Pretty much what happened was they might have took a pic of me covertly or while I was sleeping and sent it to this femoid and told her I was a virgin. That should have been a red flag right there because no femoid worth thrusting is going to want to devirgin an average looking guy. 

 I'm at my friend's house smoking blunts and they gave this femoid my number without my permission. I have to start replying to her texts. After many years of non F2F game spitting, I must say that this femoid was very generic and boring. I couldn't even use my strongest game spitting technique because it has a 50/50 chance of either coming off as super confident or totally triggering and since she knew my friends I was afraid if the latter happened that would cause drama and awkwardness with the only friends I had. (Will talk about this technique in a future post) Anyway she starts getting dirty with the texts and talks about anal, devirgining me with her butthole. I wasn't too thrilled about this, I wanted to lose my virginity to a vagina, not a butthole, but I thought "a warm, wet, and tight hole is a warm, wet and tight hole... as long as she deep cleans beforehand so I don't get a fucking shit crumb lodged in my dickhole, I'll be alright."

 A few days pass and I'm smoking blunts with my friend and his gf again. They decide it's time we stop by her work so we can meet each other. I was super nervous in the car on the way there, literally afraid I might faint and nosebleed anime style. (I was already such an incel that if whenever an HB would grab my ass, hold my hand, kiss my cheek ect... the dizzy/passing out feeling would be hard to fight, felt kind of like anesthesia.) We arrive at her workplace and unfortunately, I don't have to worry about hitting the floor. I turn to my friend with a stoic, djinn-like stare and basically said "Are you fucking trolling me bro?" with my third eye. This femoid was fucking thirty years old trying to get a nineteen year old virgin dick down! I would have been okay with that if she didn't look like the fucking bus driver from South Park! Thirty is way too young to look like that! I was so fucking glad she was on the clock and we didn't have time to chat. We basically just said hi to each other and my friends thought I spergged out because I always do the Shaw Brothers Kung Fu greeting with my hands when I greet people. We leave and my friend and his gf could easily tell that I was not interested, his gf seems a tiny bit offended by my decision (instincts). "Looks like you didn't seem into her bro" my friend says... No fucking shit dude. I find out later that this 3/10 has kids and a history of Tyrones and hard drugs.

 We get back to his place and talk about it. Their excuse for trying to hook me up with her was basically "you're a virgin so you need to practice sex with ugly used up femoids before you are ready to fuck the decent looking ones." Then his gf tells me to lower my standards. What a joke, you mean lower my standards down to Hell's septic tank? Fuck that. Fuck that. Fuck that. Fuck that. Even a facecel would be right to have done what I did. I feel like my only friends were actually fucking trolling me, to see if a virgin like me would actually be desperate enough to dick-lance her shit box. 

 Moral of the story: Normie friends who try to play matchmaker with incels are probably just trolling.
 
[quote="Sparrow']




 We get back to his place and talk about it. Their excuse for trying to hook me up with her was basically "you're a virgin so you need to practice sex with ugly used up femoids before you are ready to fuck the decent looking ones." Then his gf tells me to lower my standards. What a joke, you mean lower my standards down to Hell's septic tank? Fuck that. Fuck that. Fuck that. Fuck that. Even a facecel would be right to have done what I did. I feel like my only friends were actually fucking trolling me, to see if a virgin like me would actually be desperate enough to dick-lance her shit box. 

 Moral of the story: Normie friends who try to play matchmaker with incels are probably just trolling.
[/quote]

happened to me

someone tried to hook me up with a terrificant beast from the most filth sewer

humiliating
 
It's fucked. Normies call us toxic but want us to lose our V cards to toxic waste landwhales.
 
Sparrows Song said:
I spergged out because I always do the Shaw Brothers Kung Fu greeting with my hands when I greet people.
Lmaoooooo, quality post bro.
 
you would have gotten aids and died
 
Wu Tang or die.
 
>hell's septic tank

KEK
 

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