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Toxic Femininity "Stay-at-Home Girlfriends Are Having a Moment"

Todd Thundercock

Todd Thundercock

Honorary Inkel
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Stay-at-Home Girlfriends Are Having a Moment​

Social media offers a Gen-Z take on life outside the workforce, with minimal housework and maximal self-care: ‘It’s really not what it seems’​


By
Rory Satran

Dec. 22, 2023 9:00 pm ET

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Erica McDowell gave up her job working nights in a hotel in Baltimore to live with her boyfriend in Dallas.
The typical stay-at-home girlfriend video opens on a young woman in a pristine apartment. At 8 a.m., she makes the bed and cooks pancakes for her boyfriend before he goes to work. After a green juice, it’s time for self care: a private Pilates reformer session and a microcurrent facial. Then, she has lunch with a girlfriend at a local hot spot, goes for a long walk and listens to a podcast before it’s time to get ready for date night.
Clips like this abound on TikToksmooth, hypnotic videos presenting an idealized vision of a traditional marriage, minus the wedding ring, plus a dose of the current wellness boom. Being a stay-at-home girlfriend (or SAHG for short) is all about supporting your boyfriend with tasks like cooking and housework, plus a rigorous self-care regimen to keep up appearances. The phenomenon reflects a Gen Z move away from mid-2000s “girlboss” hustle culture, and toward aspirations of a softer life.
“My life was very, very slow and peaceful,” said Kendel Kay, 26, who moved from Los Angeles to Puerto Rico to be a stay-at-home girlfriend to her then-boyfriend in 2022. She described an “extensive morning routine filled with skin care” and juice and breakfast prep.
Videos of young SAHGs from Nairobi to Miami show them puttering around modern high-rise apartments, pushing Dyson vacuums and spoiling small dogs. They wear workout sets all day; they talk slowly; they seem unbothered.
The perfect veneer of stay-at-home girlfriend culture doesn’t always show the full picture. Along with tales of fulfillment, relaxation and empowerment are stories of breakups, professional struggles, boredom and insecurity. It’s a life that looks good, but is it a good life?
Many stay-at-home girlfriends say that it is. Kay, who is newly single and now based in San Diego, spoke positively about her time as a SAHG in Puerto Rico. Before she met her ex-boyfriend, who ran his own company, she earned money modeling and making OnlyFans subscription-based content. When he started supporting her, she said, “I just felt like I didn’t have to experience as much stress, and I was really able to be my best self and do a lot of self-improvement.”

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PHOTO: KENDEL KAY

Former stay-at-home girlfriend Kendel Kay described an ‘extensive morning routine filled with skin care’ and juice and breakfast prep.
Aliyah Wan, 26, who grew up in Singapore and lives in Los Angeles with her generous boyfriend, said that a lot of women aspire to this lifestyle these days. “With big cities, the cost of living is just so high that having somebody to provide for you makes living a lot easier,” she said.
Detractors say that ease comes with complications. “They glamorize financial dependency,” said Haley Sacks, who bills herself as a “zillennial finance expert” and runs the Instagram account @MrsDowJones. “But being financially dependent is a huge contributor to financial abuse. And being financially independent is truly one of the best gifts you can give yourself.”
All the women I spoke to have their own bank accounts, which they supplement through income made with content creation—affiliate links, brand deals. Therein lies the irony of much stay-at-home girlfriend content. While the videos might paint a picture of a life of leisure, they usually omit the nitty-gritty reality of influencer hustling.
Sacks said that in that way it reminded her of the “FIRE” (Financial Independence, Retire Early) movement: “They’re like, ‘We quit our jobs. We live in a van,’ whatever, but they’re making money being ‘FIRE’ bloggers.”
“That’s what a lot of my viewers don’t see,” said Wan of her content creation. She said, “They think my life is fully funded and supported by the man, but it’s really not what it seems.”
Still, Wan, who was on a prelaw track at UCLA, is taken care of. She said, “I don’t get an allowance, but my rent’s paid for, food’s paid for and if I wanted something I just have to bring it up to [my boyfriend] and he’ll take care of it.”
Often, the boyfriends themselves are the ones to propose these arrangements. They’re working a lot, or traveling a lot, and want extra support at home. Or they just enjoy paying for everything.
“I love the arrangement,” said Travon Duncan, 26, who works in cybersecurity in Dallas. He suggested that his girlfriend, Erica McDowell, 25, give up her job working nights in a hotel in Baltimore to come live with him, and she agreed.
When McDowell first arrived in Dallas, she recalled, “I literally did not do anything.” Well, she clarified, she would “wake up, eat, shop, lay down, take naps, watch shows.”
Then they went to couples therapy, where her boyfriend admitted he would like her to contribute more. So she started making breakfast, cleaning and doing laundry, decorating the house more and creating content to build a little nest egg for herself.
“I look at myself as the alpha male,” said Duncan. “I’m always working, always grinding, always studying. I think it’s important to have someone in your corner that is there for you and understands your needs and your wants.”
“People might think it’s a sugar-daddy situation,” said Duncan, saying that some of McDowell’s followers inferred that he was an older man funding a young woman’s lifestyle. But, he clarified, “We’re in a relationship. This is a person that will be my wife one day.”
However, they’re not married yet. “My friends are like, ‘Girl, you are doing wifely duties before the ring,’” McDowell said. They tell her: “You’re doing too much trying to keep that man.” But she said she relishes the work. “I genuinely get a form of dopamine when I cook and he enjoys my meal or when I make him some cupcakes and he enjoys them,” she said.

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PHOTO: ALIYAH WAN

‘With big cities, the cost of living is just so high that having somebody to provide for you makes living a lot easier,’ said Aliyah Wan, who lives with her boyfriend in Los Angeles.
These women don’t see themselves as 1950s housewives. There are no kids to care for—save for their little dogs—so the focus of their days is self-care. Most of the SAHGs I spoke to have cleaning help.
Being unmarried may have its downsides. “While they’re definitely contributing to the success of their partner by managing things at home, if they break up or something happens to them, they have no legal recourse,” Sacks said. She added that, without jobs, they are missing out on a chance to build their own financial futures.
Another risk? Ennui. Even with the influencer events she attends, the Pilates she does and the “minimal housework” she said she takes on, Wan said she runs out of things to do. Sometimes she thinks she should work a 9-to-5 job. “A lot of the days I’m just home and bored and in bed,” she said. She’s thinking of making a video about that.
 
Parachute them over Gaza.
 
seething article was written, even tho those women are still whores, both before the relationship (chad widow) and during (vlog-whoring for money)

“I love the arrangement,” said Travon Duncan, 26, who works in cybersecurity in Dallas.
the Duality of Travon.

1703357545407
 
All they did come up with some bullshit euphemism like "stay at home girlfriend" to replace "I'm done being a whore on onlyfans. I need a cuck simp to leech off off." They literally admitted it.
 
No staying at home for your face
 
The negress toilet looks like the negress wojack meme, also these whores are basically getting payed to only do one hour of cooking and cleaning a day. While their men have to work a 9 to 5
 
They aren't terribly bright.

If you're going to betabuxx some ugly nearcel cuck, at least marry him so you can divorce rape him.
 
I'm desperate enough to do this but I'm not rich enough. These girls would never get with an ugly guy anyway.
 
seething article was written, even tho those women are still whores, both before the relationship (chad widow) and during (vlog-whoring for money)
They are just remolding marriage so they can keep certain aspects that benefit them(having a provider) while being able to fuck chad whenever they want.
If you're going to betabuxx some ugly nearcel cuck, at least marry him so you can divorce rape him.
I'm sure alot of women don't want to go through the legal turmoil and could be viewed more harshly if they repeatedly cheat on their husbands. Its probably easier and faster for them to switch from one beta to another unless they find one with enough money to warrant divorce rape.
 
All they did come up with some bullshit euphemism like "stay at home girlfriend" to replace "I'm done being a whore on onlyfans. I need a cuck simp to leech off off." They literally admitted it.
 
Not a single word
 
Jfl. So, women are discovering that staying at home and having some pitiful simp providing everything he can is better than working? Damn. Never saw that one before.

Oh wait. We did have this before, it's just that it was a century ago so I wasn't alive for that.


"The desire to free oneself from work was common to all classes and both sexes. Dr Joanna Bourke of Birkbeck College, London, has studied the diaries of 5,000 women who lived between 1860 and 1930.

During that period, the proportion of women in paid employment dropped from 75 per cent to 10 per cent. This was regarded as a huge step forward for womankind, an opinion shared by the women whose writings Dr Bourke researched.

Freed from mills and factories, they created a new power base for themselves at home. This was, claims Dr Bourke, "a deliberate choice. . . and a choice that gave great pleasure."" --

A hundred years ago, women discovered that staying at home and just taking your gusband's money is better than working for your own money, which men already also knew, but unlike men they actually could simply stay at home and let others work for them, so they left work and let their husbands take care of them. Then, their daughters and granddaughters who never worked in their lives decided that they are "oppressed" by not having to work, so they started invading the labour force again. Now, their daughters and granddaughters are discovering how sweet it is to just laze your house while your workhorse/domestic slave is at work to bring money for you, and so they are claiming to have been "betrayed" by feminism while their tradcuck simps are celebrating that women are "seeing the light" and realizing that they are too precious to work for living and should just let their pitiful, cucked simp selves sacrifice their time and effort to "provide" to them:feelsbadman::feelsbadman:.
 
I was about to post this as well. Things have gotten so bad, men betabux bitches who aren’t even legally tried to them. Seventeen states, including big ones like Texas, NY, and California either accept common law marriages or palimony which will treat a breakup of such relationships like a divorce.
 
no hymen intact, no working for my ass.
 
Foid Moment tbh
 
Foids need to start spending some of their moments sitting on my dick.
 
I’m not reading all of that just age cucks need to be tourted raped beheded slowly and film everything so that other age cucks get scared
 
Stay-at-home-wife has always been an acceptable way for foids to NEETmaxx
 
do these come with fresh, unused pussies as well? :feelsYall:
 
The negress toilet looks like the negress wojack meme, also these whores are basically getting payed to only do one hour of cooking and cleaning a day. While their men have to work a 9 to 5
It depends on the home arrangements. If the men make a lot of money it may only require 5% of their paycheck to pamper a foid. Meanwhile the guy can save on going out and prostitutes all the while all investments he makes stays in his name 100%. Really not a bad deal. By 30 the foid will lose her looks while the rich chad can simply level up and get a new 20yo foid. Rinse and repeat until the rich chad is 60+. Look at Di Caprio.
 
“I love the arrangement,” said Travon Duncan, 26, who works in cybersecurity in Dallas.
I work in tech and I've seen this with my own eyes. If you're black and 95+ IQ your career life is on easy mode. DEI elevates 95+ IQ blacks to positions unattainable to 130+IQ ricecels and currycels. Average and high IQ blacks really do live life on easy mode, mega easy mode if they're tall.
 
I was about to post this as well. Things have gotten so bad, men betabux bitches who aren’t even legally tried to them. Seventeen states, including big ones like Texas, NY, and California either accept common law marriages or palimony which will treat a breakup of such relationships like a divorce.
Marriage is dangerous for men these days, as foids can wake up one day, say "I'm not happy", and then cheat and divorce men with 0 consequences, while taking 50% of what he owned at minimum.
 
They want to be us neets so bad :feelsahh:
 

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