Parents are perpetually upset with me, prospects for making it at anything are practically 0.
The only time I've not felt like crying or roping in the past few months is when my postmaxxing bot experiments worked.
Any action I make always turns out to bite me in the ass. Any deviation from the minimax strategy (assuming everything and everyone around me is an adverserial agent) always fucks me over.
I have random moments looking at posts in ID where my eyes just completely tear up because it reminds me too much of my life.
My ambitions have been pretty low since I turned 18.
Save money and live to 30. Celebrate my 30th birthday + a few more days as lavishly as possible, go to a remote forest and rope using something similar to a shotgun shell helmet.
I don't know why, but even this feels like an unachievable dream right now.
The only time I've not felt like crying or roping in the past few months is when my postmaxxing bot experiments worked.
Any action I make always turns out to bite me in the ass. Any deviation from the minimax strategy (assuming everything and everyone around me is an adverserial agent) always fucks me over.
I have random moments looking at posts in ID where my eyes just completely tear up because it reminds me too much of my life.
My ambitions have been pretty low since I turned 18.
Save money and live to 30. Celebrate my 30th birthday + a few more days as lavishly as possible, go to a remote forest and rope using something similar to a shotgun shell helmet.
I don't know why, but even this feels like an unachievable dream right now.
