Venting Sometimes, I don't even want to ascend

[TheGambler2]

I was walking outside today and I thought about this.

I have been angry or sad all my life. Even when I was in kindergarten I remember sometimes crying in bed. When I was in elementary school, I was an angry hate-filled kid and teacher always told me to stop being so angry and smile more

If I somehow managed to get a gf, I wouldn't have as many reasons to be angry and would have more reasons to be happy. I was always a hateful/sad person, and this is the only way I know how to live at this point. I don't even know how to be happy anymore, and happiness seems kinda cringe

You know how when you are mad and then someone tries to cheer you up? It is very annoying and you want to tell them just to fuck off.

This is somewhat how I feel sometimes. I am filled with anger and hate and if some foid approached me I wouldn't even know how to act

Or another analogy would be how when a person has been suffering from depression a long time, he grew into that lifestyle and this is the only way he knows how to live. He is hesitant to get out of this lifestyle

Do any of you brocels feel this way?

 

[Izayacel]

having money and living lavish / freely " is really the best you can do .

if you get sex then what? , the bitch will cheat on you with another dude and cause pointless drama.

in 2022 no woman is fucking loyal.

 

[TheGambler2]

having money and living lavish / freely " is really the best you can do .

if you get sex then what? , the bitch will cheat on you with another dude and cause pointless drama.

in 2022 no woman is fucking loyal.

but I am a mentalcel who does not even find pleasure in many activities. and I am not much of a materialist

I don't even know what I would do with the money and have no desire to bust my ass getting rich

 

[ogleman]

It’s okay to feel afraid of being happy. When you are happy it means you can be hurt, but when you are depressed or angry they can’t hurt you anymore. Being happy is hard, and remaining happy is even harder.

I’m just coping, but whenever I’ve gotten some attention — which can be small as a smile or large as someone asking how I am feeling — it gave me encouragement to do better in life. I would start to eat healthier, be more hygienic, talk to people without fear of rejection, and exercise. But I always seem to return to being unhappy because frankly it’s hard to start from negative just to reach 0.

I understand you. I hear what you’re saying. Thanks for sharing.

 

[DryDick]

Your brain has been following the same neural pathways for years. Changing that is hard. It's all you've known and how you see the world.

 

[TheGambler2]

It’s okay to feel afraid of being happy. When you are happy it means you can be hurt, but when you are depressed or angry they can’t hurt you anymore. Being happy is hard, and remaining happy is even harder.

I’m just coping, but whenever I’ve gotten some attention — which can be small as a smile or large as someone asking how I am feeling — it gave me encouragement to do better in life. I would start to eat healthier, be more hygienic, talk to people without fear of rejection, and exercise. But I always seem to return to being unhappy because frankly it’s hard to start from negative just to reach 0.

I understand you. I hear what you’re saying. Thanks for sharing.

I guess this is true, it is why I always walk around mean mugging every female, that way I am not in a vulnerable spot where they can put me down again

but you sound like a female

Your brain has been following the same neural pathways for years. Changing that is hard. It's all you've known and how you see the world.

this is true, being angry and sad has just become a regular thing and feels comfortable

plus I don't trust people anymore, it's like when someone is nice to you one time and you get a little excited but later come to realize they just wanted to extract something from you yet again

 

[ogleman]

I guess this is true, it is why I always walk around mean mugging every female, that way I am not in a vulnerable spot where they can put me down again

but you sound like a female


this is true, being angry and sad has just become a regular thing and feels comfortable

plus I don't trust people anymore, it's like when someone is nice to you one time and you get a little excited but later come to realize they just wanted to extract something from you yet again

Nah, not female but a truly ascended wizard. 30+ years of loneliness does things to a man — literally monk tier now.