when i look around me, and see people who have it objectively worse in life, yet are still able to smile and live joyously, i can't help but ask myself: "why can't i do the same?" ever since i've adopted the blackpill and fatalist worldview, i wonder, how accurate it is to conclude that i'm just a spoiled crybaby manchild who's just conveniently adopted fatalism as an excuse to not try anymore, in terms of having desires that a typical person should have, like working towards goals to financially support myself and become an actual functioning adult. why is it that i've decided the juice isn't worth the squeeze? not in terms of dating/mating, but in terms of doing the bare minimum to be self-sufficient to prepare myself for the day when my parents are gone to survive in society and be a functional competent human.
i'm awestruck when i see people still have that magical wonder for life in them. to me and to most of you, we are nothing but animals, life is a competition, it's a mog or get mogged world, we are nothing but survival machines whose sole purpose is to reproduce and propagate our genes. sure, the meaning of life can be anything you want it to be, but once you look at it scientifically, it seems like there really is no meaning. this is the very foundation of how i view and perceive the world now and the blackpill has managed to explain every single question i have about the very nature of life in all its aspects. sometimes, i wish i could return to my bluepill or redpill stages in life, the ignorance gave rise to hope, no matter how tiny it was, a little hope is all it takes for a man to keep trying.
i've been thinking about how existence is just suffering, it doesn't matter who you are, to exist is to have desires, and to exist means you will have desires that you cannot fulfill. most people are able to cope with this as they have their basic needs met in life. however, the human mind is so well evolved that arguably, even humans without basic needs still manage to cope and find a way to thrive above it all.
i haven't spoken to anyone in so long, lately everyday i've just been thinking about how much i want to not exist anymore. i don't see a point in doing anything, i take frequent naps and mindlessly scroll through my phone or play games to pass time, the greatest bliss is being asleep, because being asleep is practically as close to non-existing as it can possibly get, to be in an unconscious state, to not have any thoughts, think, feel, desire, exist.
i can't help but ask myself, am i really just this retarded? i wish i could refute my lack of free will / fatalism worldview and live with some hope again that things will get better for me, but i am unable to do so. i hope you guys had an enjoyable day
tldr: i feel retarded that people who have it worse than me can lifemog me and i wonder if it's all just in my head
i'm awestruck when i see people still have that magical wonder for life in them. to me and to most of you, we are nothing but animals, life is a competition, it's a mog or get mogged world, we are nothing but survival machines whose sole purpose is to reproduce and propagate our genes. sure, the meaning of life can be anything you want it to be, but once you look at it scientifically, it seems like there really is no meaning. this is the very foundation of how i view and perceive the world now and the blackpill has managed to explain every single question i have about the very nature of life in all its aspects. sometimes, i wish i could return to my bluepill or redpill stages in life, the ignorance gave rise to hope, no matter how tiny it was, a little hope is all it takes for a man to keep trying.
i've been thinking about how existence is just suffering, it doesn't matter who you are, to exist is to have desires, and to exist means you will have desires that you cannot fulfill. most people are able to cope with this as they have their basic needs met in life. however, the human mind is so well evolved that arguably, even humans without basic needs still manage to cope and find a way to thrive above it all.
i haven't spoken to anyone in so long, lately everyday i've just been thinking about how much i want to not exist anymore. i don't see a point in doing anything, i take frequent naps and mindlessly scroll through my phone or play games to pass time, the greatest bliss is being asleep, because being asleep is practically as close to non-existing as it can possibly get, to be in an unconscious state, to not have any thoughts, think, feel, desire, exist.
i can't help but ask myself, am i really just this retarded? i wish i could refute my lack of free will / fatalism worldview and live with some hope again that things will get better for me, but i am unable to do so. i hope you guys had an enjoyable day
tldr: i feel retarded that people who have it worse than me can lifemog me and i wonder if it's all just in my head
