As today is New Year's Eve, I have chosen to compile a relatively short list of some of the negative experiences that contributed to me ultimately joining this forum—to hopefully give you a better understanding of how the past shaped my current mentality.
Feel free to share yours in the comments.
1) In middle school, a girl I had never even spoken to before "asked me out" out of the blue and then immediately begged me to say no, revealing that this had been a dare set up by her friends. Apparently, they could think of nothing more disgusting than being forced to feign interest in your physically unattractive classmate.
2) My "friends" consistently refered to me as a "fatard" and mocked me for "having no bitches." They also physically bullied me, such as the time they forcibly removed my backpack and tossed it somewhere while laughing hysterically.
3) While I was deemed neurotypical enough to be in regular classroom, they still had Special Education Assistants follow me around on a regular basis. These SEA's gave me no room to breathe and constantly made me doubt my own intelligence. I distinctly remember working on a computer assignment and being told to do something by one of them, only to refuse on the grounds that she misheard the teacher's instructions. While she did turn out to be wrong, upon further examination, I was told "You should have I asked regardless." Another one openly stated that no matter what I did, I would never be independent due to my autism, which at the time made me burst into tears.
4) The few times my female peers bothered to acknowledge my existence, they spoke to me in the kind of vocal inflection you would use around a toddler or a small dog. To this day, I am still unable to distinguish genuine kindness from partonizing behavior.
6) When I was 15, I found out that my "oneitis" at the time had given some Chad a blowjob behind a dumpster. Looking back, she was not even particularly attractive and had a large, crooked nose.
7) When I vented about my dating struggles to to my English teacher, he told me "Don't worry! I didn't have my first girlfriend until the last year of high school!" I am now 27 years old.
8) In a similar vein, the school councilor told me that she looks forward to the day she sees me holding hands with a "young lady" at the grocery store. Never happened.
9) As writing has always been one of my passions, I founded the first ever "Writer's Club" at my school in an attempt to expand my social circle. No-one showed up on the first day except two girls, who—upon seeing me for the first time, decided to never show up again.
10) After revealing that I'm an incel to my therapist, she recommended that I take family studies, as there are bound to be a lot of girls there that I could meet. I did, and was actually the only male in my entire class. No-one wanted to sit at my table, going as far as to cram their chairs together to avoid doing so. Later, I overheard a girl asking the teacher "Do you think any boys might sign up?" (I did not count, evidently).
11) During a "pep rally" (essentially a "fun" student-organized assembly, for those of you living outside of the West), I was subjected to non-stop suffering. First, the cheerleaders went on stage in the shortest denim shorts you can imagine and twerked in front of the entire school, including the faculty staff. (As "innocent children" do). Next, I had to watch as various couples were called on stage to answer questions about themselves.
12) Back when I still took chess seriously, I went to a tournament organized by my high school. I actually enjoyed myself, only for my entire day to be ruined after I saw some Chad shoving his tongue down the throat of his girlfriend.
13) I had a "friend" who was a blonde, blue-eyed football player. While perhaps not a "Chad" he was at least a high-tier normie. In spite of telling me that sex is "not a big deal" and "feels like being inside of a wet slug" he would complain to me non-stop about his "dry spells" (which lasted up to a week at most) and how his current romantic interest (he had many) has not allowed him to "hit" yet.
Feel free to share yours in the comments.
1) In middle school, a girl I had never even spoken to before "asked me out" out of the blue and then immediately begged me to say no, revealing that this had been a dare set up by her friends. Apparently, they could think of nothing more disgusting than being forced to feign interest in your physically unattractive classmate.
2) My "friends" consistently refered to me as a "fatard" and mocked me for "having no bitches." They also physically bullied me, such as the time they forcibly removed my backpack and tossed it somewhere while laughing hysterically.
3) While I was deemed neurotypical enough to be in regular classroom, they still had Special Education Assistants follow me around on a regular basis. These SEA's gave me no room to breathe and constantly made me doubt my own intelligence. I distinctly remember working on a computer assignment and being told to do something by one of them, only to refuse on the grounds that she misheard the teacher's instructions. While she did turn out to be wrong, upon further examination, I was told "You should have I asked regardless." Another one openly stated that no matter what I did, I would never be independent due to my autism, which at the time made me burst into tears.
4) The few times my female peers bothered to acknowledge my existence, they spoke to me in the kind of vocal inflection you would use around a toddler or a small dog. To this day, I am still unable to distinguish genuine kindness from partonizing behavior.
6) When I was 15, I found out that my "oneitis" at the time had given some Chad a blowjob behind a dumpster. Looking back, she was not even particularly attractive and had a large, crooked nose.
7) When I vented about my dating struggles to to my English teacher, he told me "Don't worry! I didn't have my first girlfriend until the last year of high school!" I am now 27 years old.
8) In a similar vein, the school councilor told me that she looks forward to the day she sees me holding hands with a "young lady" at the grocery store. Never happened.
9) As writing has always been one of my passions, I founded the first ever "Writer's Club" at my school in an attempt to expand my social circle. No-one showed up on the first day except two girls, who—upon seeing me for the first time, decided to never show up again.
10) After revealing that I'm an incel to my therapist, she recommended that I take family studies, as there are bound to be a lot of girls there that I could meet. I did, and was actually the only male in my entire class. No-one wanted to sit at my table, going as far as to cram their chairs together to avoid doing so. Later, I overheard a girl asking the teacher "Do you think any boys might sign up?" (I did not count, evidently).
11) During a "pep rally" (essentially a "fun" student-organized assembly, for those of you living outside of the West), I was subjected to non-stop suffering. First, the cheerleaders went on stage in the shortest denim shorts you can imagine and twerked in front of the entire school, including the faculty staff. (As "innocent children" do). Next, I had to watch as various couples were called on stage to answer questions about themselves.
12) Back when I still took chess seriously, I went to a tournament organized by my high school. I actually enjoyed myself, only for my entire day to be ruined after I saw some Chad shoving his tongue down the throat of his girlfriend.
13) I had a "friend" who was a blonde, blue-eyed football player. While perhaps not a "Chad" he was at least a high-tier normie. In spite of telling me that sex is "not a big deal" and "feels like being inside of a wet slug" he would complain to me non-stop about his "dry spells" (which lasted up to a week at most) and how his current romantic interest (he had many) has not allowed him to "hit" yet.
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