Facts:
-almost level 25 Incel highly geared now
-I am ldaring every day. My apartment is a mess.
-living from a small sidejob I can do from home and money I get from my parents.
-officially I am a studycel. But I haven’t visit any course in the university for 1 ½ years. I am only signing in for the courses online. So university know I am still alive and they think I would attend.
-stopped gymmaxxing and any other kind of self-improvement from my redpill phase. I am getting fatter and fatter (I am just slightly overweight at this point tho).
-Eating fast food every day.
-I am sleeping up to 14 hours a day.
Routine is: wake up at 6pm, vidya and youtube till 8pm, getting or ordering food, vidya and youtube till 4am. Then sleeping again. Sometimes I add one hour working for my sidejob (If I am able to).
-no friends basically just a few online friends from vidya. There a days were a I don’t say a word out loud at all because I have no one to talk to.
I am in constant pain all the time. I could continue my life for one more year I guess. Then things would fall apart. I would probably get kicked out of University and Job and parents would stop pay. So I could end up on the streets. There is so much stuff stockpiled that I have to do at my job and especially in university. Even if I could start working on everything from tomorrow on with 100% I am not sure if I could still make it.
I tried to change my life very often. But I can’t. I just can’t. All I ever wanted and all I was ever aiming for was female attention, affection and love. Call me a cuck or whatever. But I need those things. I can’t go MGTOW or coping with anything similar. The road from blue- to red- to blackpilled was tough for me. Maybe to tough.
-almost level 25 Incel highly geared now
-I am ldaring every day. My apartment is a mess.
-living from a small sidejob I can do from home and money I get from my parents.
-officially I am a studycel. But I haven’t visit any course in the university for 1 ½ years. I am only signing in for the courses online. So university know I am still alive and they think I would attend.
-stopped gymmaxxing and any other kind of self-improvement from my redpill phase. I am getting fatter and fatter (I am just slightly overweight at this point tho).
-Eating fast food every day.
-I am sleeping up to 14 hours a day.
Routine is: wake up at 6pm, vidya and youtube till 8pm, getting or ordering food, vidya and youtube till 4am. Then sleeping again. Sometimes I add one hour working for my sidejob (If I am able to).
-no friends basically just a few online friends from vidya. There a days were a I don’t say a word out loud at all because I have no one to talk to.
I am in constant pain all the time. I could continue my life for one more year I guess. Then things would fall apart. I would probably get kicked out of University and Job and parents would stop pay. So I could end up on the streets. There is so much stuff stockpiled that I have to do at my job and especially in university. Even if I could start working on everything from tomorrow on with 100% I am not sure if I could still make it.
I tried to change my life very often. But I can’t. I just can’t. All I ever wanted and all I was ever aiming for was female attention, affection and love. Call me a cuck or whatever. But I need those things. I can’t go MGTOW or coping with anything similar. The road from blue- to red- to blackpilled was tough for me. Maybe to tough.
So I thought about starting escortceling. My hope is that even the fake attention, affection and love I get from a prostitute would help me. Just experience this a few times a year would may help me and I could get out of the hell I am in right now. Just make the pain go away for a while. Maybe I can fix my life then because escortceling is also a motivation and experience this a few times may make me stop craving for female attention, affection and love so badly.
My idea is to get a proper escort maybe once a month for around 150€/h which offers a girlfriend experience. Just one hour ofc. I don’t have much money. Even 150€ a month is a lot for me. I would need to find an incall escort or book a hotel each time too. I could also go to a brothel. But I could be to disgusted. With escort u know she may have 1 or 2 clients each day. Normal brothel prostitute has one guy each hour and they can't or don't clean themselves.
My fears are:
-getting addicted to it
-getting scammed
-std’s
-nothing would change because I know it’s all fake
-can't even fuck cuz to high inhib = no errection
Discuss pls.
