Been going over some dickpill stuff. I imagined myself having 3 more inches in length and girth, would I then want to have sex? No. Get sensitivity back and it's still a no. I don't want to meet some dumb slut and have sex. I neither want to put some rubber plastic on my dick, I bet it will feel like shit after death grips in specific ways for years, PSSD, etc, and I can't risk STD or pregnancies. Sex, bragging about it online, etc, is like people moaning when they're eating some mid meal, just shut up. I then thought, do I want a relationship? Answer is no, I am very attracted to getting comforted physically/the flashes of cute moments with a gf, and so on like you'd see in suicidefuel meme edits; but the reality seems virtually impossible for me to desire, much like with a real sexual encounter. I simply can not attach to other people. Never in my life have I ever missed anyone, ever. Aside from maybe very early ages not wanting to get abandoned or whatever, that's probably my only memory of attachment. I saw a couple having a date, she was very attractive and looked highly personable, intelligent, etc. I then checked my impulse of "it's over" and emotional headache combined with the chill of loneliness in my guts and heart area. "Ok, let's say you're there, actually there with her. You say barely anything, you're not interested in her at all, you just want to get out of there, you're about to go home and cry, your emotions are flatlined, you can't feel anything, even the pain is temporarily not to be found."
My estimation is that I'd need to somehow be around a unicorn NAWALT for extended time periods (tens or hundreds of hours), working on a project or something, basically never focused on the actual relationship, to break through the very earliest stages of relationship formation. This probably isn't going to happen, and if it does it's statistically unlikely that it'd be a match with just one person, if it happens twice that's even crazier, but I'd need tens, hundreds, or even thousands of women for a compatible one who somehow likes me back.
My estimation is that I'd need to somehow be around a unicorn NAWALT for extended time periods (tens or hundreds of hours), working on a project or something, basically never focused on the actual relationship, to break through the very earliest stages of relationship formation. This probably isn't going to happen, and if it does it's statistically unlikely that it'd be a match with just one person, if it happens twice that's even crazier, but I'd need tens, hundreds, or even thousands of women for a compatible one who somehow likes me back.
