Wonder
Disordercel
★
- Joined
- Sep 8, 2018
- Posts
- 1,986
Sorry about the suicidebait post, I know those aren't really popular.
So I've been thinking about suicide a lot lately. There is no hope for me. I've explained this many times, but I have this alongside with other medical problems that aren't really related to inceldom but will make my life more miserable than it needs to be.
Friday the 13th seems appropriate. I know my roommate leaves every Friday to university and comes back late, about 16:00 time.
I have two methods thought out:
I have bought apricot seeds (sounds stupid but keep reading) which contain a lot of amygdalin. Ingest enough of that and you will get cyanide poisoning. The box says that three seeds contain about 30 mg of amygdalin, which seems like a bit too much but I will take many anyways. I thought about putting them in a blender alongslide some milk and ice cream and make myself a delicious death milkshake.
If that fails or I don't want to kill myself with cyanide (I heard it's painful but quick), I could hang myself partial suspended style on the metal beam in my wardrobe. I can make the knots and have it thought out. I will pad out the front of my neck and instead block blood flow to my brain. That way it's quick and painless. I'm just a bit scared that the bar won't hold my weight or that I fuck up the knots somehow and they slip.
I have an 11 page note written to my family. Financial affairs are in order.
No, I won't livestream it. No, not going ER.
What do you think, and sorry again if this breaks some site rules or you think it's just attention whoring (it's not, I have serious plans and a will to die).
EDIT: If I chicken out I will post so you know I'm alive (not that it matters to you anyway, but at least the mods don't ban my account).
So I've been thinking about suicide a lot lately. There is no hope for me. I've explained this many times, but I have this alongside with other medical problems that aren't really related to inceldom but will make my life more miserable than it needs to be.
Friday the 13th seems appropriate. I know my roommate leaves every Friday to university and comes back late, about 16:00 time.
I have two methods thought out:
I have bought apricot seeds (sounds stupid but keep reading) which contain a lot of amygdalin. Ingest enough of that and you will get cyanide poisoning. The box says that three seeds contain about 30 mg of amygdalin, which seems like a bit too much but I will take many anyways. I thought about putting them in a blender alongslide some milk and ice cream and make myself a delicious death milkshake.
If that fails or I don't want to kill myself with cyanide (I heard it's painful but quick), I could hang myself partial suspended style on the metal beam in my wardrobe. I can make the knots and have it thought out. I will pad out the front of my neck and instead block blood flow to my brain. That way it's quick and painless. I'm just a bit scared that the bar won't hold my weight or that I fuck up the knots somehow and they slip.
I have an 11 page note written to my family. Financial affairs are in order.
No, I won't livestream it. No, not going ER.
What do you think, and sorry again if this breaks some site rules or you think it's just attention whoring (it's not, I have serious plans and a will to die).
EDIT: If I chicken out I will post so you know I'm alive (not that it matters to you anyway, but at least the mods don't ban my account).