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Story SCP-8109: Intellau_Celistic

incelerated

incelerated

gigashy social punching bag
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Item #: SCP-8109

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-8109 is not to be approached by The Foundation staff in any way. All direct communication with the entity with the intent of studying or influencing its behavior are strictly forbidden.

The entity is to be allowed to go on posting rampages at will and no measures shall be taken by The Foundation or the moderation staff to alter or limit its posting behavior. In the event of the entity taking over a thread and making it its habitat the thread shall be immediately quarantined. No entry into the thread shall be allowed and any individual who comes into contact with the entity's posts in contaminated threads shall be immediately captured and quarantined. No effort shall be made to restrict his posting in such threads, as the entity is known to contain itself in a certain habitat and not leave it unless provoked. This is by far the best known method to contain the entity.

Moderation staff who come into contact with the entity and/or its posts should be monitored 24/7 for unexplained changes in behavior and posting style.

Description: SCP-8109 is a user of the incels.is internet forum that goes by the name @Intellau_Celistic. As physical contact has not yet been established with the entity, its physical form is still unknown but it is theorized by The Foundation researchers that the entity is of humanoid form, but whether it possesses a single body or is a hive-minded type entity with multiple bodies is still unknown.

SCP-8109 has a tendency to "latch" into certain threads on the aforementioned internet forum and going on a posting rampage. Once the entity starts posting it will consider the thread its territory and will prevent any other individual from using it. The posting will continue for an unknown period of time and The Foundation researchers have not yet been able to find a pattern in how the entity selects its target threads or how long the process will take.

The nature of the entity's posts are enigmatic and their meanings are yet unknown. Some of them are in the form autobiography. Some researchers have suggested that these might be the memories of the bodies the entity has possessed that manifest themselves as posts about distant memories.
Another type of posts are what appears to be JSON-formatted data about various topics. Researchers have failed to make a connection between these data and the threads the entity has targeted, or with other posts made by the entity. Some researchers theorize that the inconsistent JSON-formatted data may suggest that the entity might be a malfunctioning rouge AI. Others suggest that this might indicate the entity is able to posses not only human bodies but also electronic devices and artificial intelligence.

The purpose of the entity's taking over of threads and posting rampages is still unknown. The entity consumes considerable amounts of energy to relentlessly lay posts in the threads it has taken over and in some cases the posting has been going on for years with no indication whether or when it will stop. As a result The Foundation staff are forbidden from reading the posts and those who monitor and research the entity go through regular psychoanalysis and are regularly rotated.

Despite potential hazards from reading the entity's posts The Foundation has decided to refrain from making any contact with the website administrators or users to warn them about the possible implications. This is because of the misogynistic and hateful nature of the incel community and the implications it might have for The Foundation to be in contact with such group.

Part of transcription of a conversation between top scientist Dr. Steinberg and field researcher Howard:

[REDACTED]

Howard: As of now we do not know what the purpose of its posts are. But a lot of people are beginning to think they might be some sort of mental egg that will be planted in the reader's mind and will hatch at a future time, either automatically or through some form of trigger by the entity.

Steinberg: Mental zombification. That's interesting.

Howard: Very interesting indeed and very dangerous. My team has unanimously decided to change the entity's classification from Safe to Euclid as a result. And to issue a warning to everyone who ever came into contact with its posts. We are withholding all research that involves directly reading the entity's posts sir.

Steinberg: Wise decision.

Howard: We are also issuing a warning to the incels.is administration to shadow-ban the entity from their website so it can safely continue its rampage without realizing it has been banned which could trigger a retaliation response.

Steinberg: That won't be necessary.

Howard: How so?

Steinberg: Your researchers cannot risk reading the entity's posts directly. That will severely limit our ability to understand the entity. However we could indirectly study it by studying these incels and the effects its posts may have on them.

Howard: But sir the effects are completely unknown and potentially very serious. More importantly, those poor guys are already under the influence of SCP-
[REDACTED]'s Eternal Curse effect, it has made their lives a living hell. They will NEVER touch a woman!

Steinberg: *chuckles* trust me, nobody cares about these incels.

Howard: But sir..

Steinberg: You're dismissed.


[REDACTED]
 
Last edited:
I really read the whole thing considering I spent the whole day contemplating suicide it really did make me day thank you @DarkStarDown @Puppeter @Corvus @wereq @SerbBurekConsoomer @Ron.Belgrade @LeFrenchCel @Uggo Mongo seriously read this shit should make you laugh.
 
Add it to their site
 
The entity is to be allowed to go on posting rampages at will and no measures shall be taken by The Foundation or the moderation staff to alter or limit its posting behavior.
agreed

annoying entity
 
I really read the whole thing considering I spent the whole day contemplating suicide it really did make me day thank you @DarkStarDown @Puppeter @Corvus @wereq @SerbBurekConsoomer @Ron.Belgrade @LeFrenchCel @Uggo Mongo seriously read this shit should make you laugh.
Thanks bro I spent like a couple hours with a medical brace around my neck writing this cause I thought it would be funny. Glad you liked it.
 
Last edited:
Btw this is just supposed to be a joke I hope @Intellau_Celistic doesn't mind.
 
Btw this is just supposed to be a joke I hope @Intellau_Celistic doesn't mind.
I think I'd worry more about what the SCP foundation thinks of you leaking such a secret. Lmfao. But in all seriousness I don't expect a coherent sensible response from him so it'll be impossible to tell what he thinks of it.
 
I think I'd worry more about what the SCP foundation thinks of you leaking such a secret. Lmfao. But in all seriousness I don't expect a coherent sensible response from him so it'll be impossible to tell what he thinks of it.
0E2890A0 7498 4686 89E4 98C0F408743D
 
My honest reaction:
1715271658342
 
This is the gayest thing I've ever seen. Just tell bro u got a crush on him
 
That was a good read
 
:lul: :lul: :lul: :lul: Saved this shit for later
 
IC has never been the same since u clipped his wings @LeFrenchCel
 
i really feel for him sometimes, im mentalcel also and i dont know man sometimes i feel like i am going to neetmaxx and lose my sanity by the time im 30

im sad :feelsbadman: :feelsbadman: :feelsbadman:
 
Really fun reading, kek
 
Lol this is high effort and based. And funny. Nice thread man :feelsokman::feelsautistic:
 
Item #: SCP-8109

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-8109 is not to be approached by The Foundation staff in any way. All direct communication with the entity with the intent of studying or influencing its behavior are strictly forbidden.

The entity is to be allowed to go on posting rampages at will and no measures shall be taken by The Foundation or the moderation staff to alter or limit its posting behavior. In the event of the entity taking over a thread and making it its habitat the thread shall be immediately quarantined. No entry into the thread shall be allowed and any individual who comes into contact with the entity's posts in contaminated threads shall be immediately captured and quarantined. No effort shall be made to restrict his posting in such threads, as the entity is known to contain itself in a certain habitat and not leave it unless provoked. This is by far the best known method to contain the entity.

Moderation staff who come into contact with the entity and/or its posts should be monitored 24/7 for unexplained changes in behavior and posting style.

Description: SCP-8109 is a user of the incels.is internet forum that goes by the name @Intellau_Celistic. As physical contact has not yet been established with the entity, its physical form is still unknown but it is theorized by The Foundation researchers that the entity is of humanoid form, but whether it possesses a single body or is a hive-minded type entity with multiple bodies is still unknown.

SCP-8109 has a tendency to "latch" into certain threads on the aforementioned internet forum and going on a posting rampage. Once the entity starts posting it will consider the thread its territory and will prevent any other individual from using it. The posting will continue for an unknown period of time and The Foundation researchers have not yet been able to find a pattern in how the entity selects its target threads or how long the process will take.

The nature of the entity's posts are enigmatic and their meanings are yet unknown. Some of them are in the form autobiography. Some researchers have suggested that these might be the memories of the bodies the entity has possessed that manifest themselves as posts about distant memories.
Another type of posts are what appears to be JSON-formatted data about various topics. Researchers have failed to make a connection between these data and the threads the entity has targeted, or with other posts made by the entity. Some researchers theorize that the inconsistent JSON-formatted data may suggest that the entity might be a malfunctioning rouge AI. Others suggest that this might indicate the entity is able to posses not only human bodies but also electronic devices and artificial intelligence.

The purpose of the entity's taking over of threads and posting rampages is still unknown. The entity consumes considerable amounts of energy to relentlessly lay posts in the threads it has taken over and in some cases the posting has been going on for years with no indication whether or when it will stop. As a result The Foundation staff are forbidden from reading the posts and those who monitor and research the entity go through regular psychoanalysis and are regularly rotated.

Despite potential hazards from reading the entity's posts The Foundation has decided to refrain from making any contact with the website administrators or users to warn them about the possible implications. This is because of the misogynistic and hateful nature of the incel community and the implications it might have for The Foundation to be in contact with such group.

Part of transcription of a conversation between top scientist Dr. Steinberg and field researcher Howard:

[REDACTED]

Howard: As of now we do not know what the purpose of its posts are. But a lot of people are beginning to think they might be some sort of mental egg that will be planted in the reader's mind and will hatch at a future time, either automatically or through some form of trigger by the entity.

Steinberg: Mental zombification. That's interesting.

Howard: Very interesting indeed and very dangerous. My team has unanimously decided to change the entity's classification from Safe to Euclid as a result. And to issue a warning to everyone who ever came into contact with its posts. We are withholding all research that involves directly reading the entity's posts sir.

Steinberg: Wise decision.

Howard: We are also issuing a warning to the incels.is administration to shadow-ban the entity from their website so it can safely continue its rampage without realizing it has been banned which could trigger a retaliation response.

Steinberg: That won't be necessary.

Howard: How so?

Steinberg: Your researchers cannot risk reading the entity's posts directly. That will severely limit our ability to understand the entity. However we could indirectly study it by studying these incels and the effects its posts may have on them.

Howard: But sir the effects are completely unknown and potentially very serious. More importantly, those poor guys are already under the influence of SCP-
[REDACTED]'s Eternal Curse effect, it has made their lives a living hell. They will NEVER touch a woman!

Steinberg: *chuckles* trust me, nobody cares about these incels.

Howard: But sir..

Steinberg: You're dismissed.


[REDACTED]
sounds like me when I troll on discord
 

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