So, it's probably been about 6 months since I've last posted on this forum but I thought this might be something interesting.
Usually, I am able to contain my horniness well but recently the desire to fuck a real woman has become uncontrollable. The worst part is that I think I was partly shamed into having sex as well. A "friend" of mine knows I am a virgin and constantly talks about all the women he fucks (most of them are mid lol) and tries to convince me to go on Tinder to find girls.
So I decided to give it a shot. After some digging, I found some forum with a bunch of escorts in my city. I bought a burner sim card and a burner phone and I started texting them.
After some back and forth, I finally settled on one of them. We agreed to meet up for a quick visit the next day.
I arrived at her place and, after opening the door, I was met by a woman stripped down to her underwear. Her tits were big (I'm not sure the size but they had to be D or higher). Her face wasn't that attractive but was cute and her ass was fat and juicy.
She led me back into the bedroom and started taking off my clothes. Maybe I shouldn't have done this but I told her this was my first time. She seemed a little surprised and told me she hadn't seen a virgin before. We started kissing. It was pretty awkward and it felt a lot different from what I thought it would feel like. I could feel her tongue moving around in my throat. Then I started to play with her, starting with her tits. They felt like any other part of the body which is what I was expecting but were a lot heavier than I thought they would be. I played with her ass too and lightly smacked it.
Eventually, she made me lie down on the bed and started sucking me. This was the first time things deviated greatly from what I was expecting. I could hardly feel the blowjob. And she was putting effort into it too, I could see beads of her spit dripping down my shaft and yet I couldn't feel what was happening.
After a little bit of that, she put the condom on and started riding me. I couldn't feel it all. It was as if my dick was still in my pants and she was riding the air. (As a side note, I was still hard through all of this, I just couldn't feel any of it). After riding me, I told her I wanted to fuck her doggystyle. I could feel that position a little bit more but I started thrusting too hard and my dick kept slipping out. So we decided to do missionary. Missionary was nice because I could see her reaction while I fucked her but I still couldn't really feel it. Finally, we ended with her putting her legs up and me fucking her hard in missionary. I couldn't cum.
The second time was a lot of the same but longer. I felt her pussy (very wet) and licked her a bit (I know it's risky but I had to see what it tasted like). She jerked me off some too and about half way we took a break from fucking and she had an orgasm with her vibrator. I couldn't cum again but I wasn't mad or disappointed in myself. I had observed everything society wanted me to observe about sex. The gaping void in my life that was lack of sex had been filled.
But I wasn't happy. Sure, I came home with a smile and the next day I nutted like three times in a row but even though I had had sex, I hadn't found happiness. There was still something missing in my life. It stumped me.
So, I started thinking about it and, long story short, I finally figured out what I was still missing: love. Sure, I could go find another 10 escorts and fuck them all and have a great time, but I still wouldn't have love. They would move on to see their next client and I would move on to see my next escort.
I don't even think that I could find love now - it's too late for me.
I think the only place where a man can truly love a girl is in junior high and high school. In those years, you're both in the same school and taking the same classes, the expectations are low on the man (have a part time job and a car), the girls are virgins and any guy older than 18 are legally out of the picture.
The problem with finding love in high school, is that girls that age judge guys based solely off of looks (remember how many high school foids were in love with Justin Bieber?). This means that if you don't have the looks in high school, it will be impossible for you to find love in high school.
After high school, the next place a man can find love is if he has kids (I would assume). But eventually the cute kid grows up, turns into a teenage brat and gets a job and you can't love it in the same way anymore.
So most normies in society, do experience love but they only experience it in fleeting moments. A little bit in high school and a little bit more in the early years of raising their kids.
I want to figure out how to carry love in my heart everywhere I go, no matter the circumstances in my life. Maybe that will be the final void I have to fill in order for me to attain true happiness.
Usually, I am able to contain my horniness well but recently the desire to fuck a real woman has become uncontrollable. The worst part is that I think I was partly shamed into having sex as well. A "friend" of mine knows I am a virgin and constantly talks about all the women he fucks (most of them are mid lol) and tries to convince me to go on Tinder to find girls.
So I decided to give it a shot. After some digging, I found some forum with a bunch of escorts in my city. I bought a burner sim card and a burner phone and I started texting them.
After some back and forth, I finally settled on one of them. We agreed to meet up for a quick visit the next day.
I arrived at her place and, after opening the door, I was met by a woman stripped down to her underwear. Her tits were big (I'm not sure the size but they had to be D or higher). Her face wasn't that attractive but was cute and her ass was fat and juicy.
She led me back into the bedroom and started taking off my clothes. Maybe I shouldn't have done this but I told her this was my first time. She seemed a little surprised and told me she hadn't seen a virgin before. We started kissing. It was pretty awkward and it felt a lot different from what I thought it would feel like. I could feel her tongue moving around in my throat. Then I started to play with her, starting with her tits. They felt like any other part of the body which is what I was expecting but were a lot heavier than I thought they would be. I played with her ass too and lightly smacked it.
Eventually, she made me lie down on the bed and started sucking me. This was the first time things deviated greatly from what I was expecting. I could hardly feel the blowjob. And she was putting effort into it too, I could see beads of her spit dripping down my shaft and yet I couldn't feel what was happening.
After a little bit of that, she put the condom on and started riding me. I couldn't feel it all. It was as if my dick was still in my pants and she was riding the air. (As a side note, I was still hard through all of this, I just couldn't feel any of it). After riding me, I told her I wanted to fuck her doggystyle. I could feel that position a little bit more but I started thrusting too hard and my dick kept slipping out. So we decided to do missionary. Missionary was nice because I could see her reaction while I fucked her but I still couldn't really feel it. Finally, we ended with her putting her legs up and me fucking her hard in missionary. I couldn't cum.
The second time was a lot of the same but longer. I felt her pussy (very wet) and licked her a bit (I know it's risky but I had to see what it tasted like). She jerked me off some too and about half way we took a break from fucking and she had an orgasm with her vibrator. I couldn't cum again but I wasn't mad or disappointed in myself. I had observed everything society wanted me to observe about sex. The gaping void in my life that was lack of sex had been filled.
But I wasn't happy. Sure, I came home with a smile and the next day I nutted like three times in a row but even though I had had sex, I hadn't found happiness. There was still something missing in my life. It stumped me.
So, I started thinking about it and, long story short, I finally figured out what I was still missing: love. Sure, I could go find another 10 escorts and fuck them all and have a great time, but I still wouldn't have love. They would move on to see their next client and I would move on to see my next escort.
I don't even think that I could find love now - it's too late for me.
I think the only place where a man can truly love a girl is in junior high and high school. In those years, you're both in the same school and taking the same classes, the expectations are low on the man (have a part time job and a car), the girls are virgins and any guy older than 18 are legally out of the picture.
The problem with finding love in high school, is that girls that age judge guys based solely off of looks (remember how many high school foids were in love with Justin Bieber?). This means that if you don't have the looks in high school, it will be impossible for you to find love in high school.
After high school, the next place a man can find love is if he has kids (I would assume). But eventually the cute kid grows up, turns into a teenage brat and gets a job and you can't love it in the same way anymore.
So most normies in society, do experience love but they only experience it in fleeting moments. A little bit in high school and a little bit more in the early years of raising their kids.
I want to figure out how to carry love in my heart everywhere I go, no matter the circumstances in my life. Maybe that will be the final void I have to fill in order for me to attain true happiness.
Last edited:
