Story Saved a picture of a 1940s German Girl & Depression hits again

[Justanotherbloke]

I feel so out of touch with reality, so detached with everything and I'm done with life. When I say I'm gonna end it in my 30s, I'll end it in my 30s like I mentioned multiple times in previous threads.
I don't know how people can keep living like this beyond 30.

This evening again, a heavy feeling on my chest while knowing life won't change, I type this thread with tears in my eyes cause I just don't kmow what to do except for going through life om autopilot.

I saved a screenshot of a beautiful vintage black and white photo of a German girl, taken in the 1940s.
She is exactly my type and yes I know it sounds pathetic, but I often look at her picture to escape reality.

Went outside a short while ago, walking through the neighborhood while it was pouring outside and pitch black (evening time). Rain gives me a sense of calmness.
It's cause rain never changes throughout history, rain is real and it's always been around no matter what happens in the world.
I can connect more to the past, when walking around in the rain

I'm so done with this world, I don't know what to do anymore.

 

[Sheldor]

I feel so out of touch with reality, so detached with everything and I'm done with life. When I say I'm gonna end it in my 30s, I'll end it in my 30s like I mentioned multiple times in previous threads.
I don't know how people can keep living like this beyond 30.

This evening again, a heavy feeling on my chest while knowing life won't change, I type this thread with tears in my eyes cause I just don't kmow what to do except for going through life om autopilot.

I saved a screenshot of a beautiful vintage black and white photo of a German girl, taken in the 1940s.
She is exactly my type and yes I know it sounds pathetic, but I often look at her picture to escape reality.

Went outside a short while ago, walking through the neighborhood while it was pouring outside and pitch black (evening time). Rain gives me a sense of calmness.
It's cause rain never changes throughout history, rain is real and it's always been around no matter what happens in the world.
I can connect more to the past, when walking around in the rain

I'm so done with this world, I don't know what to do anymore.

show it

 

[Justanotherbloke]

show it

I uploaded her in another thread of mine in the past, talking about my dad.
She is my type

 

[autistic.goblin]

You shouldn't end it, mate

 

[La Grande *Infamie*]

View attachment 1483031

I uploaded her in another thread of mine in the past, talking about my dad.
She is my type

Aw fuck

 

[Stupid Clown]

You shouldn't end it, mate

Virtue signaling. No incel should be forced to live in a miserable existence he doesn't want.

 

[Justanotherbloke]

You shouldn't end it, mate

That's easier said than done.
I'm afraid of whats on the other side. I'm afraid whether a bullet will hurt or not, or if it will just be like those oceangate billionaires instant death without pain

 

[autistic.goblin]

Virtue signaling. No incel should be forced to live in a miserable existence he doesn't want.

Call me delusional but I hope one day I'll ascend. I get what you're saying but how can we be so sure it's over?

 

[Justanotherbloke]

how can we be so sure it's over?

Do you have hope then? This world, the system everything is beyond repair. I see no way out.
Even if you do manage to get someone, good luck maintaining the connection.
You are now living in an era where she'll always have hundreds of options, it's not even worth trying anymore, you are nothing special, you as a man are replaceable, like a cheap object you can pick off a shelf. There is always someone, and it's 1 swipe away in this time.
I don't want to depress anyone reading this, put me on ignore if you want but I'm too deep into this stuff, and reached a point of no return probably back in 2021.
I speak raw from my heart and how I view this mess.

I am not mentally ill, I am not diagnosed with anything.
I just see way too clearly nothing will pay off, I see way too clearly this entire system is fucked and no matter what you do, nothing will change.
Death is the only answer. Imagine eternal peace and not being bothered again.
Imagine not having to worry about the problems that come with the world .
Not everyone is cut out to live in this world and I'm one of them.
Every time the depression gets heavier. I have a period of relief but the next period of depression is inevitable and will be a level heavier than the past ones.

 

[Spooky_Heejin]

This evening again, a heavy feeling on my chest while knowing life won't change, I type this thread with tears in my eyes cause I just don't kmow what to do except for going through life om autopilot.

I saved a screenshot of a beautiful vintage black and white photo of a German girl, taken in the 1940s.
She is exactly my type and yes I know it sounds pathetic, but I often look at her picture to escape reality

I do the same thing too. I spend a lot of time pondering over the faces of foids. It helps escape but only makes things worse in the long run since I spend more time fantasizing about the foid, only to realize I'll never be able to have a relationship with one.

 

[Justanotherbloke]

I do the same thing too. I spend a lot of time pondering over the faces of foids. It helps escape but only makes things worse in the long run since I spend more time fantasizing about the foid, only to realize I'll never be able to have a relationship with one.

What was the longest period of time, that you stayed with a a certain woman in your mind and only her?

 

[Spooky_Heejin]

What was the longest period of time, that you stayed with a a certain woman in your mind?

I've had Aerith in my mind for about 5 years since the FF7 Remake trailer came out. It's like she's always been with me as schizo as that sounds. How long has that foid stayed in your mind from that book?

 

[Justanotherbloke]

I've had Aerith in my mind for about 5 years since the FF7 Remake trailer came out. It's like she's always been with me as schizo as that sounds. How long has that foid stayed in your mind from that book?
View attachment 1483094

This one 8 ish months already.

 

[Emba]

 

[Spooky_Heejin]

This one 8 ish months already.

Fuck, and that's from only one photo. Have you thought about using an AI tool to clone her so you can make more photos of her doing different things?

 

[Justanotherbloke]

Fuck, and that's from only one photo.

Yes, I know it's pathetic honestly. I get way too emotionally invested, even if it's just 1 picture.

 

[Spooky_Heejin]

Yes, I know it's pathetic honestly. I get way too emotionally invested, even if it's just 1 picture.

It's weird how our brains lock onto one specific woman and it doesn't want anyone else, even if they are more attractive than the one we really want.

 

[Justanotherbloke]

It's weird how our brains lock onto one specific woman and it doesn't want anyone else, even if they are more attractive than the one we really want.

That's pair bonding and how nature meant it to happen I guess, that makes a lot of sense since I haven't been with anyone yet. People who had lots of partners don't have this

 

[Spooky_Heejin]

That's pair bonding and how nature meant it to happen I guess, that makes a lot of sense since I haven't been with anyone yet. People who had lots of partners don't have this

Maybe, but I wonder why it's always so one sided and the person never likes us back.

 

[Justanotherbloke]

Maybe, but I wonder why it's always so one sided and the person never likes us back.

In my case it's because she's already gone from this world, cause she was German and that picture was taken in 1940. I wonder, and think of theories whether there are other women who look like her with that face, currently alive, I'm meant to be with. I always tie a spiritual meaning to it or look for deeper meanings

 

[Spooky_Heejin]

I wonder, and think of theories whether there are other women who look like her with that face, currently alive, I'm meant to be with. I always tie a spiritual meaning to it or look for deeper meanings

I wish a woman would think that way towards me where they see my face and instantly pair bond.