I have several theories on this, the main and most credible one being, it all depends on parenting. Did you ever notice how so many incels seem to have shit parents? (I do)
I think growing up with shit parents forces you to defy what you're taught, defy authority, and just question things overall. It forces you to be more alert and watch your surroundings closely. And then inevitable you get blackpilled. I've been blackpilled since I was 11.
People with good parents on the other hand, are very confident, and told all their life they're desirable and handsome. They're told they can get anything they want in life if they work for it, and that's how their life has been so far. So when it doesn't work with girls they're surprised and have no idea why, so they try to look for things they could do better, such as having more beta bucks, jestermaxxxing... They can't grasp the idea that their best isnt enough because they're not good enough due to their upbringing, or that they're not hopeless but the path to getting attention from their crush is completely different from what they think (eg. jaw surgery as opposed to talking to her and being funny) because during their childhood they consistently got what they wanted by doing what they've been told they should do to get it.