> Be me (24yr old in about a week).
> Hating my job and complaining that I couldn’t achieve better but I’m even lucky to have obtained a single contract, since I’m a useless retarded waste.
> Wageslave at the Airport, surprisingly I had 2 days off, three days of work, and another 2 of resting.
> Promise myself that I will defeat universities monopoly on career and future and challenge myself to study AI despite math and complications, feeling enthusiastic.
> Wasting all of those resting days doomscrolling, busting compressed air, binge eating 3000+ calories/day, looking for PS5 games off Vinted like I viscerally need to play so much to distract myself from regrets.
> Not even being able to watch a film (that’s my level of “commitment” now, even that feels like a chore), wanted to watch Tron Ares but scrolling addiction didn’t agree on that.
> Cried for 2 hours and proceeded to hug my mother for a while and cure her feet with ointment for dry skin (It sounds incredibly gross but Ive a child like relationship with my mother fortunately and I don’t wanna grow up on that, even tho we discuss frequently).
> Go back to my bed in the middle of the night crying again and realizing there’s no more time to read or to do anything, I wasted 4 days and I will have to slave for survival tomorrow.
As u can see I didn’t mention anything dramatic, no unbearable loss, no great tragedy, no tumultuos episode. It is a relentless march into mediocrity and the death of a man. Repeted boredom cycle, and fading dreams of glory.
There’s no intensity but the but only the weight of time, increasingly inconsolable.
Our great depression is our lifes.
> Hating my job and complaining that I couldn’t achieve better but I’m even lucky to have obtained a single contract, since I’m a useless retarded waste.
> Wageslave at the Airport, surprisingly I had 2 days off, three days of work, and another 2 of resting.
> Promise myself that I will defeat universities monopoly on career and future and challenge myself to study AI despite math and complications, feeling enthusiastic.
> Wasting all of those resting days doomscrolling, busting compressed air, binge eating 3000+ calories/day, looking for PS5 games off Vinted like I viscerally need to play so much to distract myself from regrets.
> Not even being able to watch a film (that’s my level of “commitment” now, even that feels like a chore), wanted to watch Tron Ares but scrolling addiction didn’t agree on that.
> Cried for 2 hours and proceeded to hug my mother for a while and cure her feet with ointment for dry skin (It sounds incredibly gross but Ive a child like relationship with my mother fortunately and I don’t wanna grow up on that, even tho we discuss frequently).
> Go back to my bed in the middle of the night crying again and realizing there’s no more time to read or to do anything, I wasted 4 days and I will have to slave for survival tomorrow.
As u can see I didn’t mention anything dramatic, no unbearable loss, no great tragedy, no tumultuos episode. It is a relentless march into mediocrity and the death of a man. Repeted boredom cycle, and fading dreams of glory.
There’s no intensity but the but only the weight of time, increasingly inconsolable.
Our great depression is our lifes.
