Experiment Question for BDSM/Sadismcels

[ColdLightOfDay]

Do you believe the association of domination, power and inflicting pain with sex is born out of frustration over feeling so powerless around women? If so can you identify the exact point in your life that sexual satisfaction stopped being about mutual gratification and companionship and started to manifest itself as a desire for power. Can you point to a specific time/event that may have been the cause of this shift of emphasis in your sexual preferences?

 

[Kokoro]

what would masochism be then?

 

[ColdLightOfDay]

what would masochism be then?

I should have probably added in; if you are a masochist do you remember the point in life you developed that sexual tendency? Was there a specific cause for the change? I imagine that a feeling of sexual powerlessness and humiliation could push an incel towards submission or masochism just as easily as it could push them in the other direction - sadism and the desire for domination.

 

[Henry de Montherlant]

For me it was from the very beginning. I was already dreaming of sexual dungeons at 6 (involving girls in their 20's, flame, water, spike and other thingy), when all my counterparts were only thinking about pokemon, tamagotchi, and how not to urinate in the classroom.

I'm not born sadistic though. It might be from my "education" (what's left of it). I'm sure there's something to dwell from my abusive and literaly crazy mother (went in mental hospital) who lives in constant fear of being contaminated by imaginary stuffs. She uses her entourage to cope with her psychic problems, instead of contacting a real psychiatrist.

She never left her bed until I reached 12, but still she was like a living cadaver. Everybody had to take care of her, please her mind, for no other reason than the crazy scenario she always came up with, talking alone very loud, harassing everyone in the house about her imaginary problems. I think she always considered her own family as servants, if not objects. She has always been a burden to us. Now that she works a little bit, she's pretending that my father and I are a burden for her. The feminist narratives seems to have a grip on her sickened mind.

Dealing with my violent fantasies in High School was a real cope. From 12 to 16, I literaly sacralized girls and their body, because I feared my own tendencies. I denied my own pulsions, and avoided girls not to harm them. Literaly. Then later, I thought I was getting more mature. I tried to have a love life, I tried to make things right, to look like a better person, to do as if I was a normie with no issue, who always had a loving family and who could find a supportive shoulder at home, and so, be supportive to a girl that I would love.

But how am I even suppose to build something solid from the ruin that has been my constructive years ?

The girl I loved got with a beta normie cuck, smaller than me, but who grew up in a loving family. My childhood was rather shit now that I think of it. Even my closest friends think I'm a "boy without issues", since I never had problem at school and avoided stupid social problems with Chad and the rest of the pack. I've already had my fill of suffering from life to live those tiny adolescent pseudo-problems that normies believe to be the pinnacle of pain.

Today, I merely gave up on the problematic of a sane love life. As an absolute mentalcel, I know I couldn't even try anything with a girl, unless she also had a traumatic childhood, which is not sane at all. That's the reason why I can't be aroused by anything else than bondage and BDSM.

So yeah, I think you're right.

 

[ColdLightOfDay]

For me it was from the very beginning. I was already dreaming of sexual dungeons at 6 (involving girls in their 20's, flame, water, spike and other thingy), when all my counterparts were only thinking about pokemon, tamagotchi, and how not to urinate in the classroom.

I'm not born sadistic though. It might be from my "education" (what's left of it). I'm sure there's something to dwell from my abusive and literaly crazy mother (went in mental hospital) who lives in constant fear of being contaminated by imaginary stuffs. She uses her entourage to cope with her psychic problems, instead of contacting a real psychiatrist.

She never left her bed until I reached 12, but still she was like a living cadaver. Everybody had to take care of her, please her mind, for no other reason than the crazy scenario she always came up with, talking alone very loud, harassing everyone in the house about her imaginary problems. I think she always considered her own family as servants, if not objects. She has always been a burden to us. Now that she works a little bit, she's pretending that my father and I are a burden for her. The feminist narratives seems to have a grip on her sickened mind.

Dealing with my violent fantasies in High School was a real cope. From 12 to 16, I literaly sacralized girls and their body, because I feared my own tendencies. I denied my own pulsions, and avoided girls not to harm them. Literaly. Then later, I thought I was getting more mature. I tried to have a love life, I tried to make things right, to look like a better person, to do as if I was a normie with no issue, who always had a loving family and who could find a supportive shoulder at home, and so, be supportive to a girl that I would love.

But how am I even suppose to build something solid from the ruin that has been my constructive years ?

The girl I loved got with a beta normie cuck, smaller than me, but who grew up in a loving family. My childhood was rather shit now that I think of it. Even my closest friends think I'm a "boy without issues", since I never had problem at school and avoided stupid social problems with Chad and the rest of the pack. I've already had my fill of suffering from life to live those tiny adolescent pseudo-problems that normies believe to be the pinnacle of pain.

Today, I merely gave up on the problematic of a sane love life. As an absolute mentalcel, I know I couldn't even try anything with a girl, unless she also had a traumatic childhood, which is not sane at all. That's the reason why I can't be aroused by anything else than bondage and BDSM.

So yeah, I think you're right.

Very interesting answer. So I guess it’s the lack of plausibility in the fantasy of a girl wanting you reciprocally that pushes you in that direction today, even though you have had a penchant for that type of sexual desire from a very early age. I imagine it’s quite unusual to be sexually aware so young let alone having a preference for bdsm. Were you exposed to sexual material, paraphernalia or a live witness to the act before the age of six when these unusual desires set in?

 

[LongDouble]

This sounds like an interviewer from IT. not sure though

 

[acnescarcel]

This sounds like an interviewer from IT. not sure though

 

[ColdLightOfDay]

This sounds like an interviewer from IT. not sure though

I have been told I speak in a very monotonous formal and uncoloquial kind of way before, I also am very interested in what happened during incel formative years and what are the consequences of what happened then today. Can assure you I’m not from IT though, you can read my former posts if you like to clarify, I do not indorse bullying in any way.

 

[IsolationHurts]

Do you believe the association of domination, power and inflicting pain with sex is born out of frustration over feeling so powerless around women? If so can you identify the exact point in your life that sexual satisfaction stopped being about mutual gratification and companionship and started to manifest itself as a desire for power. Can you point to a specific time/event that may have been the cause of this shift of emphasis in your sexual preferences?

1- Yes, obviously. I feel like a pathetic kid anytime im around normies, specially foids. So when im finally alone, and i can stop feeling humilliated for existing, its awesome to imagine that im the one whos in control of the situation.
2- I dont know. I allways liked anal porn, but i think i became addicted to anal rape porn, painal, and some forced lolicon after watching some films, specially Irreversible (very famous: http://hollywoodabuse.com/monica-belluccis-anal-rape-scene/) Since then, anal rape (to a woman of course) is the hottest thing i can think of. More than 8 years now. No regrets tbh. And i dont really like BDSM or typical torture porn, just straight anal rape, as painful as it can be.

Btw, hi inceltears

Today, I merely gave up on the problematic of a sane love life. As an absolute mentalcel, I know I couldn't even try anything with a girl, unless she also had a traumatic childhood, which is not sane at all. That's the reason why I can't be aroused by anything else than bondage and BDSM.

Same

 

[Henry de Montherlant]

Very interesting answer. So I guess it’s the lack of plausibility in the fantasy of a girl wanting you reciprocally that pushes you in that direction today, even though you have had a penchant for that type of sexual desire from a very early age. I imagine it’s quite unusual to be sexually aware so young let alone having a preference for bdsm. Were you exposed to sexual material, paraphernalia or a live witness to the act before the age of six when these unusual desires set in?

Not, it's not the "lack of plausibility in the fantasy of a girl wanting me reciprocally that pushes me in that direction today".

In my life, several girls gave me clear IOI, and each time, I refused. Now please, to all incels reading this, I'm not fucking bragging, it's torture to know that you can't mentally afford a reltionship, while all things are happening "as if" this relationship was on the verge of happening.

I remember that first one who clearly told me "I love you" while we were both sitting near a big window in High School. I found her attractive. But I refused her avance, for I didn't want her to get involved in my life, to see some things I would have prefered hidden. Another one, on the way back in the train of a scholar trip in Paris, who was the literal fine cute blond Stacey in our school (all the football guys were running after her), asked me if she could fondle my hair. I already catched her watching me behind, so that was not an innocent asking. At that time, she was n°1 fantasy provider of us all, including me. But I let the opportunity fly away. I could not handle to desire her the way I know I would one day, to hurt her. I was not mature enough to considerate purity of feelings and sexual games separately.

Now the girl I loved in High School and who chose the normie (cf. my first message) was also hurting, because for once, I was the one who was refused. At least, I know she's happy now.

Now in uni, I'm not trying anything. I just consider it a waste of time, and even though I'm more mature than I use to be, let's say that all the girls here are, well, retards, if not just plain ugly. Well, in all positivity, let's say I found a kind of peace of mind since I don't struggle anymore between my feelings and my pulsions. lol

I've always been precocious and mature relatively to my age. I had to adapt to my "hostile environment" and grow up faster than most of my counterparts because of my shitty childhood. I wasn't even exposed to BDSM related porn by the time. That's not the explanation. I think there's a whole new continent to explore in terms of psychology here. Sexual domination that I imagined at a early age may have just been a projection of my own pain to have an abusive mother.

To have sexual fantasy early is, I believe, more common nowadays than it was by the time though. Society is becoming more and more hostile and children can actually be exposed to this kind of image now, which is worse than just imagination.

 

[LongDouble]

I found her attractive. But I refused her avance, for I didn't want her to get involved in my life, to see some things I would have prefered hidden.

Massive volcel right there. But what did you not want her to see?

 

[Henry de Montherlant]

Massive volcel right there. But what did you not want her to see?

Not volcel, mentalcel.

Things related to my mother.

1- Yes, obviously. I feel like a pathetic kid anytime im around normies, specially foids. So when im finally alone, and i can stop feeling humilliated for existing, its awesome to imagine that im the one whos in control of the situation.
2- I dont know. I allways liked anal porn, but i think i became addicted to anal rape porn, painal, and some forced lolicon after watching some films, specially Irreversible (very famous: http://hollywoodabuse.com/monica-belluccis-anal-rape-scene/) Since then, anal rape (to a woman of course) is the hottest thing i can think of. More than 8 years now. No regrets tbh. And i dont really like BDSM or typical torture porn, just straight anal rape, as painful as it can be.

Btw, hi inceltears


Same

Let's cope together my brother in pain.

 

[ColdLightOfDay]

Not, it's not the "lack of plausibility in the fantasy of a girl wanting me reciprocally that pushes me in that direction today".

In my life, several girls gave me clear IOI, and each time, I refused. Now please, to all incels reading this, I'm not fucking bragging, it's torture to know that you can't mentally afford a reltionship, while all things are happening "as if" this relationship was on the verge of happening.

I remember that first one who clearly told me "I love you" while we were both sitting near a big window in High School. I found her attractive. But I refused her avance, for I didn't want her to get involved in my life, to see some things I would have prefered hidden. Another one, on the way back in the train of a scholar trip in Paris, who was the literal fine cute blond Stacey in our school (all the football guys were running after her), asked me if she could fondle my hair. I already catched her watching me behind, so that was not an innocent asking. At that time, she was n°1 fantasy provider of us all, including me. But I let the opportunity fly away. I could not handle to desire her the way I know I would one day, to hurt her. I was not mature enough to considerate purity of feelings and sexual games separately.

Now the girl I loved in High School and who chose the normie (cf. my first message) was also hurting, because for once, I was the one who was refused. At least, I know she's happy now.

Now in uni, I'm not trying anything. I just consider it a waste of time, and even though I'm more mature than I use to be, let's say that all the girls here are, well, retards, if not just plain ugly. Well, in all positivity, let's say I found a kind of peace of mind since I don't struggle anymore between my feelings and my pulsions. lol

I've always been precocious and mature relatively to my age. I had to adapt to my "hostile environment" and grow up faster than most of my counterparts because of my shitty childhood. I wasn't even exposed to BDSM related porn by the time. That's not the explanation. I think there's a whole new continent to explore in terms of psychology here. Sexual domination that I imagined at a early age may have just been a projection of my own pain to have an abusive mother.

To have sexual fantasy early is, I believe, more common nowadays than it was by the time though. Society is becoming more and more hostile and children can actually be exposed to this kind of image now, which is worse than just imagination.

Are you relatively goodlooking ?

 

[Henry de Montherlant]

Are you relatively goodlooking ?

I don't know, I can't judge, it's pointless. Some girls still find interest in me, others not. So I guess I look at least normal.

I also got advances from a gay couple once but that doesn't really count lol. If I don't gymcel I look a bit androgynous, which may explain why.

 

[kappo0]

i was never in to bdsm but resecently i started enjoy seeing wooman suffer i ges it is form bying builld all the time by theam

 

[ColdLightOfDay]

i was never in to bdsm but resecently i started enjoy seeing wooman suffer i ges it is form bying builld all the time by theam

How old are you ?

 

[kappo0]

How old are you ?

19,5

 

[ColdLightOfDay]

19,5

In what ways have women bullied you?