This break from school and work has reminded me of how much I feel like a prisoner. I can leave the house and drive somewhere, go for a walk, but I feel trapped in my own bubble. For normalfags, it's as if everyone on earth suddenly disappeared. Once I'm not working, I become a ghost that is mostly useless to the world. Working and going to school distracts me from this, but now I'm forced to confront it.
I do have friends I met online but they're kind of far to visit regularly, and the other 'friends' I have irl don't really care about me and only see me when they have nothing better to do and feel uncomfortable by themselves (I'm just a warm disposable body).
In these times, I tend to fap a lot more to try and sate my social cravings, but it never does. I've considered going to a whore, but I'm trying to save up for a camper so I can move out and travel around before spending money on entertainment. I think I see getting this camper as a form of liberation, I can live wherever I want on the cheap. I know it won't help though.
I do have friends I met online but they're kind of far to visit regularly, and the other 'friends' I have irl don't really care about me and only see me when they have nothing better to do and feel uncomfortable by themselves (I'm just a warm disposable body).
In these times, I tend to fap a lot more to try and sate my social cravings, but it never does. I've considered going to a whore, but I'm trying to save up for a camper so I can move out and travel around before spending money on entertainment. I think I see getting this camper as a form of liberation, I can live wherever I want on the cheap. I know it won't help though.
