I'm far too old and have experienced far too much or, perhaps it would be more accurate to say have experienced far too little, to be capable of infatuation any longer. Knowing full-well that every woman who looks at you considers you repulsive makes fantasizing about sharing your life with one something of a difficult task. After a certain point not even your dreams are willing to concede to your desires or bend to your wishes; I stopped experiencing sexual dreams as I grew older not because of a flagging libido but because every woman I tried to approach even in my dreams began to flee when I attempted to reach out to them.
Funny isn't it? My sojourns beneath the Horizon are still capable of showing me horrors, Hellscapes rivaling Dante's most grotesque flights of fancy, but are no longer capable of providing me so much as a glimpse of the pleasures the vast majority of humanity eventually learn to take for granted. For what it's worth, that may be a strange sort of kindness. If my own experience is in any way representative of the tribe of the unloved and lost behind, the loss of happy dreams may be the only charity Father God extends to His mistakes and Mother Nature to Her monsters. If our primordial parents have decided we're fit only for Pandemonium, at least They have the courtesy to prepare us for it.
Having said all that, I was actually young once even though I myself often find that hard to believe. I still have some vague recollection of the absurd love a monster can harbor for a woman before the former inevitably realizes that the abomination lurking behind the mirror isn't some distortion born from neurosis but a reflection of Reality as it actually is. Deluded, there was a brief moment in time I actually believed I was becoming something like an actual person. So I suppose I have a song to share.
One of the most difficult things about growing old as a truly ugly thing isn't needing to resort to your dreams to pretend you're human; it's having to do so with the dimming memory of them.