TLDR AT END
Ok, so I went a week without drinking but I just remembered this shit that happened 10 years ago. So cheers and listen to my story.
So I used to be a normal weight kid back in primary school (Finnish primary school is grades 1-6, ages 7-12. I got bullied a lot physically and mentally. I got into fights often and girls often called me ugly. Oh, and people really liked to avoid me.
In middle school (grades 7-9, ages 13-15) I started training a lot and I became muscular. I could see my vains. I had a six pack and kinda big biceps for a 14 old kid.
I got into fights even more and people still called me ugly. So many people pretended they didn't even know me. I don't even remember all the shit that happened back then, it's blocked from my memory but I still have scars on my body from those days.
I have some memories like when one guy brought snow from outside and started throwing snowballs at me. I told him to stop but he continued. I punched him in the face and took him outside and tried to put his head in snow but some older student came and stopped the fight and told me not to bully others. Everyone looked at me like I fucking bullied him. I didn't even start that shit.
Anyways,
At one point, I started making videos online. I made videos where I would eat hot sauce or review a video game. Nothing special really. Some people liked them at my school and I was happy about it.
But here the story starts:
Back in 2007, Pekka Eric Auvinen went to his local school and shot a bunch of people
Also, in 2008, Juhani Matti Saari followed Auvinen's footsteps and shot a bunch of people at his local shool
So the year is 2009 and I'm 15.
I am this silent kid whom everyone hates for some reason. I don't bother anyone but people still call me ugly and if they have a bad day they come and start punching me.
Well, at some point I start noticing people are avoiding me as usual but this time they have fear in their face. I think to myself "wtf is it this time". Well, I hear that there is a rumor that I am planning to be the third school shooter in Finland. People are genuinely afraid of me, even the fucking teachers.
That lasted for maybe a week.
Then one day I was going to my class like usual, but I hear the headmaster calling me to his office. So I go there and he told me people have seen my videos where I point a gun at the camera and tell everyone I will kill them when they come to school. He also told me he called the police and my mom.
Eventually my mom came and started shouting at me that wtf I have done. I tried explaining I haven't done anything.
Then the police came and they searched me and my schoolbag and they handcuffed me and put me in their police car.
They searched our house for guns (we didn't have any and still don't have) and they took my computer (they didn't find those videos because I never made them). They brought me to mental hospital where they started force feeding me antidepressants.
I tried to make friends with the others there but they made fun of me. One girls said she likes looking at boy's asses, even mine. And one other girl said others shouldn't feel sorry for me being a virgin. I fucking hated that place!!
Eventually they let me out because I wasn't violent.
However, I was still addicted to those fucking antidepressants. I couldn't just stop using them because not taking them would give me really fucking bad withdrawl. It's 10x worse than the worst hangover I have ever had.
Well, the thing about antidepressants was that I could not feel any emotions. I couldn't laugh or cry.
All the automated reflexes like closing my eyes when I sneeze, I had to do it manually (don't sneeze with your eyes open, it will fucking hurt your eyes).
Also when someone throws a rock at you, your body automatically puts your hand in front of you. Well that fucking shit didn't happen to me, I had to do it manually.
I could not feel fear
When I finally got off antidepressants, I had gained 40kg because I could not feel fucking full because the drugs took away my emotions.
The first time I laughed in years, I laughed for 4 hours straight.
The first time I felt fear was looking down from 5th floor and feeling on my stomach that holy shit this place is high fuck.
Anyways, I have been treated like human filth for my whole life.
I'm gonna drink this fucking whiskey bottle until I black out
Fuck Finland!
TLDR;
10 years ago, people said I will shoot my school, the police came and took me to mental hospital.
I was forcefed some shit and eventually they let me out because I wasn't violent.
Ok, so I went a week without drinking but I just remembered this shit that happened 10 years ago. So cheers and listen to my story.
So I used to be a normal weight kid back in primary school (Finnish primary school is grades 1-6, ages 7-12. I got bullied a lot physically and mentally. I got into fights often and girls often called me ugly. Oh, and people really liked to avoid me.
In middle school (grades 7-9, ages 13-15) I started training a lot and I became muscular. I could see my vains. I had a six pack and kinda big biceps for a 14 old kid.
I got into fights even more and people still called me ugly. So many people pretended they didn't even know me. I don't even remember all the shit that happened back then, it's blocked from my memory but I still have scars on my body from those days.
I have some memories like when one guy brought snow from outside and started throwing snowballs at me. I told him to stop but he continued. I punched him in the face and took him outside and tried to put his head in snow but some older student came and stopped the fight and told me not to bully others. Everyone looked at me like I fucking bullied him. I didn't even start that shit.
Anyways,
At one point, I started making videos online. I made videos where I would eat hot sauce or review a video game. Nothing special really. Some people liked them at my school and I was happy about it.
But here the story starts:
Back in 2007, Pekka Eric Auvinen went to his local school and shot a bunch of people
Also, in 2008, Juhani Matti Saari followed Auvinen's footsteps and shot a bunch of people at his local shool
So the year is 2009 and I'm 15.
I am this silent kid whom everyone hates for some reason. I don't bother anyone but people still call me ugly and if they have a bad day they come and start punching me.
Well, at some point I start noticing people are avoiding me as usual but this time they have fear in their face. I think to myself "wtf is it this time". Well, I hear that there is a rumor that I am planning to be the third school shooter in Finland. People are genuinely afraid of me, even the fucking teachers.
That lasted for maybe a week.
Then one day I was going to my class like usual, but I hear the headmaster calling me to his office. So I go there and he told me people have seen my videos where I point a gun at the camera and tell everyone I will kill them when they come to school. He also told me he called the police and my mom.
Eventually my mom came and started shouting at me that wtf I have done. I tried explaining I haven't done anything.
Then the police came and they searched me and my schoolbag and they handcuffed me and put me in their police car.
They searched our house for guns (we didn't have any and still don't have) and they took my computer (they didn't find those videos because I never made them). They brought me to mental hospital where they started force feeding me antidepressants.
I tried to make friends with the others there but they made fun of me. One girls said she likes looking at boy's asses, even mine. And one other girl said others shouldn't feel sorry for me being a virgin. I fucking hated that place!!
Eventually they let me out because I wasn't violent.
However, I was still addicted to those fucking antidepressants. I couldn't just stop using them because not taking them would give me really fucking bad withdrawl. It's 10x worse than the worst hangover I have ever had.
Well, the thing about antidepressants was that I could not feel any emotions. I couldn't laugh or cry.
All the automated reflexes like closing my eyes when I sneeze, I had to do it manually (don't sneeze with your eyes open, it will fucking hurt your eyes).
Also when someone throws a rock at you, your body automatically puts your hand in front of you. Well that fucking shit didn't happen to me, I had to do it manually.
I could not feel fear
When I finally got off antidepressants, I had gained 40kg because I could not feel fucking full because the drugs took away my emotions.
The first time I laughed in years, I laughed for 4 hours straight.
The first time I felt fear was looking down from 5th floor and feeling on my stomach that holy shit this place is high fuck.
Anyways, I have been treated like human filth for my whole life.
I'm gonna drink this fucking whiskey bottle until I black out
Fuck Finland!
TLDR;
10 years ago, people said I will shoot my school, the police came and took me to mental hospital.
I was forcefed some shit and eventually they let me out because I wasn't violent.
Your life have a colorful story. Proud it. a LOT OF US HAVE dull boring life stories.
