let me start this off with, im 18, i have no job, i cant drive, i have no permit nor have i ever attempted to get one. I've never had my first job, and dont have my ID, my only source of identification is a passport which i guess it is an ID but not quite.
now that you read this, you can obviously tell im at rock bottom, im a loser.
all my life, as a kid, everyone made me feel so ashamed about asking questions and being curious, and everyone made fun of me when i didnt know something, especially in elementary, where kids my own age in 3rd and 4th grade would constantly make comments about how appearantly dumb i was, everyone excluded me and made me feel like a freak, and theyd laugh at me and make comments about how stupid my questions were whenver i asked the teacher a question in class, whether it was lesson related or not. now that i look back at it, they definitely just didnt like me, my questions were never stupid , they were just normal lesson based questions, but everyone would make me feel like such a imbecile for anything i did. now how does this connect me to being a loser who doesnt know how the real world works you ask? well im scared of not being able to learn , or get the hang of things, all the comments ive received as a kid made me feel like i wasnt keeping up like everyone else, now that i look back at it, i was no different from them, i wasnt any level behind, but they had something against me, but even knowing that now, the feeling doesnt ever leave me. ive never attempted to drive because im scared of not ever getting the hang of it, i never went to get my ID because im scared of how people will judge me for not having one yet at this age, and didnt get it before because i was scared of communicating and sounding stupid, i have no job because im scared of not getting the hang of my job and doing bad at it, im scared of just being the freak everyone made me feel like i always was, i dont want to go back to that. its been years but im so stuck up, im a grown man now but my little self still talks inside me, still scared of being a freak, they ruined my life, i dont know why everyone disliked me, i wasnt annoying or loud, i was never that type of kid, i was somewhat quiet even, i just tried to blend in with everyone else to feel normal , but ive never felt normal, why did everyone treat me like a freak? ill never know, but the trauma will probably stick with me forever. im a loser.
now that you read this, you can obviously tell im at rock bottom, im a loser.
all my life, as a kid, everyone made me feel so ashamed about asking questions and being curious, and everyone made fun of me when i didnt know something, especially in elementary, where kids my own age in 3rd and 4th grade would constantly make comments about how appearantly dumb i was, everyone excluded me and made me feel like a freak, and theyd laugh at me and make comments about how stupid my questions were whenver i asked the teacher a question in class, whether it was lesson related or not. now that i look back at it, they definitely just didnt like me, my questions were never stupid , they were just normal lesson based questions, but everyone would make me feel like such a imbecile for anything i did. now how does this connect me to being a loser who doesnt know how the real world works you ask? well im scared of not being able to learn , or get the hang of things, all the comments ive received as a kid made me feel like i wasnt keeping up like everyone else, now that i look back at it, i was no different from them, i wasnt any level behind, but they had something against me, but even knowing that now, the feeling doesnt ever leave me. ive never attempted to drive because im scared of not ever getting the hang of it, i never went to get my ID because im scared of how people will judge me for not having one yet at this age, and didnt get it before because i was scared of communicating and sounding stupid, i have no job because im scared of not getting the hang of my job and doing bad at it, im scared of just being the freak everyone made me feel like i always was, i dont want to go back to that. its been years but im so stuck up, im a grown man now but my little self still talks inside me, still scared of being a freak, they ruined my life, i dont know why everyone disliked me, i wasnt annoying or loud, i was never that type of kid, i was somewhat quiet even, i just tried to blend in with everyone else to feel normal , but ive never felt normal, why did everyone treat me like a freak? ill never know, but the trauma will probably stick with me forever. im a loser.
