Discussion Particularly dark times in your life

[Hoppipolla]

Obviously don't share anything like... too personal or whatever!

But erm... I bought a house, see. lol

Back in 2023. And... man. It's fine now. A buy-to-let houseshare. But man I had some drama setting that place up. The downstairs bathroom had awful damp issues and I remember one night being in there PULLING UP THE FLOOR to see the damage to the concrete subfloor!

And another night I was taking endless rubbish bags out as I had to evict a wannabe squatter who had taken the place over! Me in there with my t-shirt around my face going through endless little flies taking out gross bag after bag at like 11pm. With my hoodie on my top half, lol

DARK TIMES.

But it's fully managed now by a good company and all is well. Thank goodness. I would NOT want to go back to those nights in that house by myself desperately trying to instill order into a very empty, very quiet house and hoping the damp didn't make it fall down!

Phew! It's over now. I can breathe. lol

 

[Pancakecel]

Everyday is a dark time tbh

 

[nouc]

Obviously don't share anything like... too personal or whatever!

But erm... I bought a house, see. lol

Back in 2023. And... man. It's fine now. A buy-to-let houseshare. But man I had some drama setting that place up. The downstairs bathroom had awful damp issues and I remember one night being in there PULLING UP THE FLOOR to see the damage to the concrete subfloor!

And another night I was taking endless rubbish bags out as I had to evict a wannabe squatter who had taken the place over! Me in there with my t-shirt around my face going through endless little flies taking out gross bag after bag at like 11pm. With my hoodie on my top half, lol

DARK TIMES.

But it's fully managed now by a good company and all is well. Thank goodness. I would NOT want to go back to those nights in that house by myself desperately trying to instill order into a very empty, very quiet house and hoping the damp didn't make it fall down!

Phew! It's over now. I can breathe. lol

I hope it falls down

 

[chudt320]

This year specifically, i dont know what it is about my brain chemistry but i am extremely depressed

 

[Hoppipolla]

I hope it falls down

lol thaaaanks. XD

To be honest at some points I thought it might!

 

[The Death Devil]

Christ, my condolences.

I used to hate myself a lot, I suppose. In general, I never like thinking about the first seventeen years of my life. My adolescence was largely miserable because I had a 'friend' that screwed over any chance of me doing anything productive—for whatever reason, he would constantly insist that we be playing something or watching something together in a call. And, while I didn't mind doing those things... I wanted to at least spend some of my free time alone so that I could try and learn something worthwhile.

But he would freak out on me every single time I suggested anything like that, and I felt bad and didn't want to ignore him, so I willingly allowed myself to rot all throughout my adolescence for multiple years. Eventually I grew some self-respect and put some distance between me and him, but imagine my shock when he decided that I was now somehow 'toxic' for things about myself that I was unwilling to change—like my aversion to uteroids, for instance.

Good God, I could go on and on about this guy, but even thinking about it makes me frown. I doubt anyone really wants to hear the whole story, anyway, so I'll just leave it at that.

In the end, it really makes me grateful for this forum, and that I could have a place to go to get away from the freaks that are normroaches. I'm endlessly thankful that I have the friends on here that I do, and I will never take them or this place at large for granted. I have no doubt that people on here probably think it's 'corny' whenever I say that this place is like home to me—but I sincerely mean that. It allowed me to grow up into the person that I am today, and gave me the ability to stand on my own two feet whenever it came to social interaction with others.

I cannot say what my life would have been like if I hadn't found this place when I did... I know it seems like I'm being dramatic, but I really mean it when I say this place changed my life for the better.

 

[UndeadDeadMan]

Eternal darkness

 

[Hoppipolla]

Christ, my condolences.

I used to hate myself a lot, I suppose. In general, I never like thinking about the first seventeen years of my life. My adolescence was largely miserable because I had a 'friend' that screwed over any chance of me doing anything productive—for whatever reason, he would constantly insist that we be playing something or watching something together in a call. And, while I didn't mind doing those things... I wanted to at least spend some of my free time alone so that I could try and learn something worthwhile.

But he would freak out on me every single time I suggested anything like that, and I felt bad and didn't want to ignore him, so I willingly allowed myself to rot all throughout my adolescence for multiple years. Eventually I grew some self-respect and put some distance between me and him, but imagine my shock when he decided that I was now somehow 'toxic' for things about myself that I was unwilling to change—like my aversion to uteroids, for instance.

Good God, I could go on and on about this guy, but even thinking about it makes me frown. I doubt anyone really wants to hear the whole story, anyway, so I'll just leave it at that.

In the end, it really makes me grateful for this forum, and that I could have a place to go to get away from the freaks that are normroaches. I'm endlessly thankful that I have the friends on here that I do, and I will never take them or this place at large for granted. I have no doubt that people on here probably think it's 'corny' whenever I say that this place is like home to me—but I sincerely mean that. It allowed me to grow up into the person that I am today, and gave me the ability to stand on my own two feet whenever it came to social interaction with others.

I cannot say what my life would have been like if I hadn't found this place when I did... I know it seems like I'm being dramatic, but I really mean it when I say this place changed my life for the better.

That's good yeah

And... I wouldn't feel too bad about the missed opportunities in your teens. It's pretty difficult to know exactly what to do when you're so young.

But now you have the opportunity to make different decisions ^_^

 

[The Death Devil]

That's good yeah

And... I wouldn't feel too bad about the missed opportunities in your teens. It's pretty difficult to know exactly what to do when you're so young.

But now you have the opportunity to make different decisions ^_^

I think that I moreso feel like a fool... Considering the spite and animosity that guy ended up having towards me in the end, what was the point of it all?

I'm quite dull in the head, and thus it takes me a long, long time to learn anything—let alone teach it to myself. If I could have only had those years to have a headstart... I could have at least hoped to have kept up with everyone else around me. Now people are already vastly ahead of me, and they're already able to learn things much faster than I can. I will never catch up for as long as I live.

 

[Hoppipolla]

I think that I moreso feel like a fool... Considering the spite and animosity that guy ended up having towards me in the end, what was the point of it all?

I'm quite dull in the head, and thus it takes me a long, long time to learn anything—let alone teach it to myself. If I could have only had those years to have a headstart... I could have at least hoped to have kept up with everyone else around me. Now people are already vastly ahead of me, and they're already able to learn things much faster than I can. I will never catch up for as long as I live.

Maybe the point of it was to learn a lesson! The important thing is to not repeat mistakes IMO.

It's good to be nice to people especially friends but... yeah you need to work on yourself too. Also... you never know who will stick around. I've lost lots of friends over the years especially from my teens as people change a lot between then and their 20s.

It makes me wonder as well why I put so much effort and time into those friendships, heh

 

[The Death Devil]

Maybe the point of it was to learn a lesson! The important thing is to not repeat mistakes IMO.

I like your optimism, fufufu~. I suppose you're right.

It's good to be nice to people especially friends but... yeah you need to work on yourself too. Also... you never know who will stick around. I've lost lots of friends over the years especially from my teens as people change a lot between then and their 20s.

It makes me wonder as well why I put so much effort and time into those friendships, heh

One of the things that taking the black-pill taught me was to rely on myself rather than others—precisely because of how difficult it is to trust others as an incel... you know, with the hostility directed towards us and all. You never know who will screw you over.

 

[maximoos]

2021 onward was my downfall father died then got into a group where would smoke spice and I was only valued for that quick cash or what I had in my pocket now don’t have any social life

 

[Hoppipolla]

I like your optimism, fufufu~. I suppose you're right.

Thanks! haha

One of the things that taking the black-pill taught me was to rely on myself rather than others—precisely because of how difficult it is to trust others as an incel... you know, with the hostility directed towards us and all. You never know who will screw you over.

I guess yeah people can screw you over although typically I find that people fairly often just drift away.

I do definitely keep my distance from people on average much more than I used to. Which works better for me that constantly chasing new friendships and looking desperate, and yet it's a shame because it means I end up kind of settling into being by myself which isn't ideal either.