It's Over One day I will snap and end it all

[TheHungariancel]

I love staying up late at night, but it's that part of the day when the worst kind of thoughts come up in my mind and this happens every single day. The wasted past opportunities, the lack of future prospects in terms of employment and other things torment my mind at this time of the day. My life has been going downhill ever since I've entered puberty, but the last 2-3 years in particular have been a total freefall for me. No matter how I try to "improve", view things more positively, change my mindset, I always fall back. I feel like a useless maggot, a leech, a failure, a disgrace to my family. I definitely have problems with discipline and setting long term goals, but I doubt that more self-improvement would make me less miserable.

Sure, I have good days when it feels like things are going fine, but even during those days (which are quite rare) in the back of my mind I have thoughts about roping. I can't imagine myself at 70 or 80 years old and even if I somehow do make it that far, I don't think I'll die naturally. Every cope has an end and my sanity has its limits. I rot my brain with nicotine, endless scrolling and masturbation, but what can you do when none of those things ease the pain anymore?

I'm not even suicidal right now, I can still cope and have things that I want to read about and understand, places to "explore" (the better word would be to visit) etc., but the thought of me ending it all never goes away and one day it might not be just a thought, but an action.

 

[literallyretarded]

I love staying up late at night, but it's that part of the day when the worst kind of thoughts come up in my mind and this happens every single day. The wasted past opportunities, the lack of future prospects in terms of employment and other things torment my mind at this time of the day. My life has been going downhill ever since I've entered puberty, but the last 2-3 years in particular have been a total freefall for me. No matter how I try to "improve", view things more positively, change my mindset, I always fall back. I feel like a useless maggot, a leech, a failure, a disgrace to my family. I definitely have problems with discipline and setting long term goals, but I doubt that more self-improvement would make me less miserable.

Sure, I have good days when it feels like things are going fine, but even during those days (which are quite rare) in the back of my mind I have thoughts about roping. I can't imagine myself at 70 or 80 years old and even if I somehow do make it that far, I don't think I'll die naturally. Every cope has an end and my sanity has its limits. I rot my brain with nicotine, endless scrolling and masturbation, but what can you do when none of those things ease the pain anymore?

I'm not even suicidal right now, I can still cope and have things that I want to read about and understand, places to "explore" (the better word would be to visit) etc., but the thought of me ending it all never goes away and one day it might not be just a thought, but an action.

roping is dumb ngl going er is way better

 

[TheHungariancel]

going er is way better

Unnecessary for me to inflict my pain on others.

 

[literallyretarded]

Unnecessary for me to inflict my pain on others.

why not they are normie scum and slaves to the zog going er will help accelerationism and make you a martry and one of the heros

 

[tedkwasasaint]

Unnecessary for me to inflict my pain on others.

No just save some people by going ER in open AI headquarters or something if you ever decide to end it just like make a good change for the world if you dont wanna inflict pain.

 

[Zionist]

Unnecessary for me to inflict my pain on others.

Yep but, life is meaningless, suffering is meaningless

 

[4sez]

Going ER would be better, in my opinion. Suicide is just lame.

(no feds, i don't promote this)

 

[tedkwasasaint]

Going ER would be better, in my opinion. Suicide is just lame.

(no feds, i don't promote this)

“No i dont promote this” proceeds to promote it

 

[ectomorphuser]

“No i dont promote this” proceeds to promote it

 

[Caichan]

2 weeks ago I was in my moms car to retrieve something she didn’t feel like getting, and i saw a revolver, I held it against my head but my finger wasn’t on the trigger, I was too pussy. But if it was in the past when I felt worse i definitely would’ve just gone through with it

 

[X-MALICUR]

No, you won't.

 

[TheHungariancel]

No, you won't.

Not now for sure, but in the not so distant future.

 

[Itsoverm8]

I really hope I have the guts to

 

[Itsoverm8]

Wish I had access to a firearm in game

 

[RotMaxx]

Wish I had access to a firearm in game

same

 

[Sir Silentium]

Bunch of edgelords in the replies. Don’t rope Hungarian, vent on the site.

 

[TheHungariancel]

Bunch of edgelords in the replies. Don’t rope Hungarian, vent on the site.

I will vent here as this is the only place where people can actually relate, or understand what people like me go through. But I’m losing hope day by day. Some days are good, some are not really, but overall my situation is getting a little worse every day.

 

[Sir Silentium]

I will vent here as this is the only place where people can actually relate, or understand what people like me go through. But I’m losing hope day by day. Some days are good, some are not really, but overall my situation is getting a little worse every day.

Have any good copes at the moment?

 

[TheHungariancel]

Have any good copes at the moment?

Just “lame” things like occasional masturbation, working out, nicotine, reading/watching videos about stuff that seem interesting to understand the world better, to get wiser. Also experimenting with food and trying new foods as I like to cook.

Nothing special, don’t really have much “passion” for anything anymore.

 

[Sir Silentium]

Just “lame” things like occasional masturbation, working out, nicotine, reading/watching videos about stuff that seem interesting to understand the world better, to get wiser. Also experimenting with food and trying new foods as I like to cook.

Nothing special, don’t really have much “passion” for anything anymore.

Brutal. Well if you want some prayer about the situation let me know my friend.

 

[TheHungariancel]

Brutal. Well if you want some prayer about the situation let me know my friend.

Thanks for reading all my ventings, appreciate it a lot. You can pray for me, though I don’t believe in any of that stuff.

 

[Sir Silentium]

Thanks for reading all my ventings, appreciate it a lot. You can pray for me, though I don’t believe in any of that stuff.

No problem my friend

 

[DriveLikeNigger]

I'm in the same situation too. Too anxious to neglect my future and question my purpose but too lethargic to stand up and put an effort in something that matters. Killing my brain with nicotine (cigars and hookah over 4 hours a day), coffee and degenrate hentai. I hope you find some kind of salvation just as i wish for myself