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On the precipice of complete insanity

dardycunt

dardycunt

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I am losing it, holy shit, I literally have not had an actual conversation with another human being in months. There is no running water, I haven't showered for days, I'm going to permanently lose my capacity for emotions and speech productions due to lack of stimuli, I'm mentally collapsing in on myself. It's the same shit, over and over again, that no one needs to express because anyone who is capable of understanding this deafening isolation already knows. There is nothing to say, just total blankness. I shouldn't even be conscious at this point. This feels like a horrid parody of what being alive is.

I want to regurgitate all my organs, I feel inherently wrong and filthy all the time, it is not that I am tainted but that I am one massive stain upon existence and everything wrong with me is everything about me.
 
Do you have any family you can talk to?
 
Battlefield3cel said:
Do you have any family you can talk to?

Despite being a terrible person in general I can't really bear to inflict my malaise on others. My relationship with my relatives are cordial at best and they have made it clear that they won't bother to understand any of my problems if it isn't actual and immediate physical suffering.
 
dardycunt said:
I am losing it, holy shit, I literally have not had an actual conversation with another human being in months. There is no running water, I haven't showered for days, I'm going to permanently lose my capacity for emotions and speech productions due to lack of stimuli, I'm mentally collapsing in on myself. It's the same shit, over and over again, that no one needs to express because anyone who is capable of understanding this deafening isolation already knows. There is nothing to say, just total blankness. I shouldn't even be conscious at this point. This feels like a horrid parody of what being alive is.
I want to regurgitate all my organs, I feel inherently wrong and filthy all the time, it is not that I am tainted but that I am one massive stain upon existence and everything wrong with me is everything about me.

this might sound crazy but talk to yourself (not in front of other people). i'm ashamed to admit i do it more often than i should. try to maintain relationships with people in your family who can relate to you and can spend time with. for example my best friend is my little brother.
 
cavsinone_lbjdagoat said:
this might sound crazy but talk to yourself (not in front of other people). i'm ashamed to admit i do it more often than i should. try to maintain relationships with people in your family who can relate to you and can spend time with. for example my best friend is my little brother.

I imagine talking to yourself would require lower inhibition so being able to do that naturally is not a bad thing in my view.  I have never enjoyed talking and could probably spend the rest of my life mute if I wanted to. It is great that you have such a good relationship with your little brother.
 
I feel just as you do every few months. I've been LDARing for 5 years so it's normal to me. How would you describe your daily life? Wagecuck, study/schoolcuck, Transcended LDARcel?
 
dardycunt said:
I'm going to permanently lose my capacity for emotions and speech productions due to lack of stimuli, I'm mentally collapsing in on myself. It's the same shit, over and over again, that no one needs to express because anyone who is capable of understanding this deafening isolation already knows. There is nothing to say, just total blankness. 

you said it better than I ever could. I can barely communicate at this point.
 
dardycunt said:
Despite being a terrible person in general I can't really bear to inflict my malaise on others. My relationship with my relatives are cordial at best and they have made it clear that they won't bother to understand any of my problems if it isn't actual and immediate physical suffering.

Hmmm, I'm a bit like that too but clearly not as far as you or it doesn't bother me as much.


Morf12 said:
I feel just as you do every few months. ....

The holidays. :(
 
Tuttle said:
Hmmm, I'm a bit like that too but clearly not as far as you or it doesn't bother me as much.



The holidays. :(



This Christmas is going to be rough.
 
Morf12 said:
I feel just as you do every few months. I've been LDARing for 5 years so it's normal to me. How would you describe your daily life? Wagecuck, study/schoolcuck, Transcended LDARcel?

I have been LDARing since 2013. I live an extremely spartan lifestyle and finance myself through accumulated savings and temporary jobs.
 
[video=youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YP3pIPp8P8[/video]
 
That's how I feel everyday, despite being only 19 and in college, where interaction with others is pretty much forced.

I literally go days at a time without talking...fucking hell, it only gets worse and worse..
 

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