1 of the reasons why i think im so fucked up is because minor social embarrassments that people would forget in a minute persist with me and 4 whatever a reason i feel so much pain from them
some of the earliest memories would be
when i was 5, we were at an art gallery the guide said ''now 1 of the girls answer this next question'' not listening i put my hand and he said 'you're not a girl' and the whole class laughed and even though minor this memory has haunted me
another when the teacher asked ''what did you differently last Christmas'' and i 4 whatever reason thought she said ''what was different about the first Christmas'' and said it was in a stable, and again the memory haunted me
when the teacher asked how how is chriatmas celebrated differently around the world and i said i saw a dancing bear in russia on the street when i was there in christmas she said that was a wrong answer
when someone broke my toy, i told the teacher and then felt so bad 4 it cuz i thought he would judge me badly
there are hundreds of these little memories from my childhood up to now that keep coming back 2me and cause me to feel sick, to twist and mutter ''commit suicide'', the only connection is all these memories involve social embarrassment or where i think others are judging me
i srs dont know what the fuck is wrong with me
some of the earliest memories would be
when i was 5, we were at an art gallery the guide said ''now 1 of the girls answer this next question'' not listening i put my hand and he said 'you're not a girl' and the whole class laughed and even though minor this memory has haunted me
another when the teacher asked ''what did you differently last Christmas'' and i 4 whatever reason thought she said ''what was different about the first Christmas'' and said it was in a stable, and again the memory haunted me
when the teacher asked how how is chriatmas celebrated differently around the world and i said i saw a dancing bear in russia on the street when i was there in christmas she said that was a wrong answer
when someone broke my toy, i told the teacher and then felt so bad 4 it cuz i thought he would judge me badly
there are hundreds of these little memories from my childhood up to now that keep coming back 2me and cause me to feel sick, to twist and mutter ''commit suicide'', the only connection is all these memories involve social embarrassment or where i think others are judging me
i srs dont know what the fuck is wrong with me
