RageFuel OCD flarring up again in the worst way possible

[nakolas]

Just kill me already

 

[AtrociousCitizen]

Brutal.

 

[FBI]

 

[FBI]

 

[poorenglishcel]

Yes i am losing my mind due to my OCDish habits too. I constantly feel the need to look at random marks on the wall or the dust specks on the bed sheet. But it only happens when i play video games or remind myself of this habit. Every habit of mine is of this sort. It exist cause i remembered it do. It makes me feel that my mind is jsut making shit up and all the habits aren't real.

 

[Sex-Starved Beast]

I read your other post about intrusive thoughts. As a kid I had OCD, but only through the compulsions. I had (and still do) to do these weird nonsensical rituals that ruined my days. But to this day, I still can't understand intrusive thoughts. I should have experienced them, since my OCD was so severe. Maybe I have intrusive thoughts but I don't recognize them as such? No, that's impossible. But even after reading books on the matter, I still don't understand what people mean with intrusive thoughts exactly. If they are like irrational phobias, or negative thoughts that push you to suicide, then I do experience them, but aren't they just normal thoughts? Like when I was constantly in fear that a parasyte was in my brain, is that what you call an intrusive thought?
I knew another person who claimed to suffer greatly because of intrusive thoughts, and I felt bad for him, but still I didn't get it. Sadly he never felt confident enough to make any example of his thoughts. He was extremely successful and hardwirking and they didn't have any impact on his life, and only made him suffer inside. But how is that possible? If something makes me suffer, as a consequence I get worse in life and put less effort in things. So this guy was suffering from just thoughts, and it didn't affect his life. It's so different from the way I work.

Yes i am losing my mind due to my OCDish habits too. I constantly feel the need to look at random marks on the wall or the dust specks on the bed sheet. But it only happens when i play video games or remind myself of this habit. Every habit of mine is of this sort. It exist cause i remembered it do. It makes me feel that my mind is jsut making shit up and all the habits aren't real.

This is closer to how I was as a kid, altough it was more severe and they weren't habits, but things that I had to do.

 

[MiSKiRaT]

I always leave everything in a mess ON PURPOSE just to give my brain and its stupid tendency to correct everything the middle finger