Deleted member 7448
Name is Abdu, live in Laos, born on 24.08.1992.
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- Joined
- May 16, 2018
- Posts
- 7,127
Even assuming that I was more neurotypical and not avoidant and autistic like I am, assuming I really got some friends. Even assuming I somehow magically got a girlfriend.
They could never know who I am. Even the things that I reveal on this forum, I could never reveal to an irl person. I'd sound way too whiny, way too melancholic and sad and depressing. But that's who I am. Everything in my life from the age 13 and up is just stories of depression and various pathetic ways depression crippled me.
Forget depression, any other area of my life somehow is just as ... dysfunctional or whiny. By now I've learned to keep everything to myself. I consider other people's reactions, I consider the impact of every word I say. So I could never reveal these things.
Irl people talk about their life, what they feel, who they are and what they did in life. I'd have to keep my mouth shut about 99.9% of the time. Cause who the hell would want to hear about depressing shit all the time? Not that I'd be comfortable revealing that anyway, people just tend to use information against you, spread rumors or talk behind your back, laugh at you.
They could never know who I am. Even the things that I reveal on this forum, I could never reveal to an irl person. I'd sound way too whiny, way too melancholic and sad and depressing. But that's who I am. Everything in my life from the age 13 and up is just stories of depression and various pathetic ways depression crippled me.
Forget depression, any other area of my life somehow is just as ... dysfunctional or whiny. By now I've learned to keep everything to myself. I consider other people's reactions, I consider the impact of every word I say. So I could never reveal these things.
Irl people talk about their life, what they feel, who they are and what they did in life. I'd have to keep my mouth shut about 99.9% of the time. Cause who the hell would want to hear about depressing shit all the time? Not that I'd be comfortable revealing that anyway, people just tend to use information against you, spread rumors or talk behind your back, laugh at you.